That still means they have to be an Au Pair the first year, whether they like it or not.
You say that many of these girls come from well-off countries. That doesn’t make a huge difference in terms of working permits. I’m from a well-off country (US), yet couldn’t get a working permit in Spain to save my life DESPITE 1) having a college degree, and 2) having a Spanish employer who was willing to sign that she wanted to hire me. (Turned out the paperwork was the equivalent to an audit, so she, disappointedly, said she couldn’t do it.)
The ONLY way I found to legally work in Germany was as an Au Pair. (Eventually I found independent contractor work, but it would have been near impossible to set this up from the US.)
Common enough that there’s tons of agencies, and I personally knew several American au pairs. I also knew Canadian and Australian ones.
The payscale is way lower though. The standard was ~250 Euros/month (+room/board) when I was in Berlin 2yrs ago. It’s difficult to take a fulltime job seriously when you’re making that little.
My mom had a nanny when she was a kid (back in the '30s) and she loved her until the day she died. They can be a very positive influence. It doesn’t mean an au pair is a substitute for parents…just a nice addition. Of course, it’s a crap shoot, but what isn’t?
I used a few. The Eastern Europeans were better than the Nordic ones. And no, I’m not talking about for the children. I just went through a period of dating random Aupairs - it seemed like when you knew one, you knew them all. Eventually I married one.
The Aupairs all had different takes on their families. Some were required to be live-in slaves, some were there to fill in the gaps, and 3 were fortunate to work for a millionaire that needed child, horse, house and kitchen help. They all worked about 5 hours a day and drove around in BMWs.
The ones that were unhappy were in situations that were different than explained. If you are not comfortable with an 18 year old bringing home someone to screw, then you need to let them know that beforehand. If you don’t want them coming home after 10pm at night, you need to let them know that beforehand. If you expect them to be on duty when you are home, then you need to let them know that beforehand. As with all things, communication is key.
Generally an au pair is a young woman who is still growing up, and usually not looking a child care as a career. She’s not expected to be the sole caretaker of the kids, but she is expected to do a lot of babysitting, as well as cooking and housework. Often, as this thread indicates, she’s from a foreign country, but not always. She lives with the family, as a nanny does.
Generally, a nanny is a grown woman who is in child care as a career. She may or may not live with the family, but she is generally the children’s primary caregiver, and not expected to do housework, cooking, etc. except for that directly related to the kids.
'Though you didn’t ask, a “mother’s helper” is a step below an au pair in terms of child care. A mother’s helper is hired to help mom (or dad) with the kids when the parents are around. Often, they’re hired by parents of multiples to be extra hands and eyes when there’s too much for the parents to do alone. A mother’s helper might come in one or twice a week, or be there all day, but she would expect the parents to be there also and follows orders pretty constantly.
So the continuum of time involved with the kids, autonomy and pay looks something like:
Babysitter--------> Mother’s Helper--------> Au Pair--------> Nanny
As always, different organizations have different definitions, but these are generally accurate, at least in my portion of the country (Chicago).
If you get one, make sure she’s ugly. My very-best childhood girlfriend lost her husband of 10 years to an girl 30(!) years her husbands junior - the au pair.
More recently, my younger SIL was looking for a live-in for her 2 y/o daughter. She has a young and quite beautiful cousin that lives in some other state. This cousin came to visit for a month over the summer and SIL pondered having her stay to care for Emily. EVERYONE in the family ('cept BIL) protested loudly. BIL is kinda well, odd. His motive in life doesn’t appear to have “family” among the high priority things. I wouldn’t doubt for a moment that he’d try to seduce her. Shame on me, I know, but observation of the two of them at a family party was strange, to say the least. He chose to hang out with young cousin all day rather than partake of the park’s fun stuff to do. An example; we were at a waterslide park and Jeff’s typically gung ho for that sorta thing. He wanted to sit and play cards with young cousin instead of taking his daughter to play on the slides. Nobody could understand the motivation there, out loud anyway.
I think that a young, impressionable pretty girl might not be the best addition to a household. YMMV, of course.
WhyNot explained it very well, I think. Just adding 2c more.
The notion behind “au pair” is that the au pair comes out “even”. For example, my first stay in the US was with an organization that handles both personnel for summer camps (my case) and au pairs: I spent 11 weeks in the States for the price of a round-trip bus ticket to London. It’s a cheap way to go to another country, which often has the added advantage of practicing the language of your host country. You pay for your stay with your work, instead of in money.