Nannies and Au Pair

Factual Questions
1

Mrs. nrd and I are thinking about securing the services of a nanny or an au pair. Lots of reasons for this, but the decision has been made more urgent by the fact that Little nrd’s daycare just announced today that they are closing Nov. 1. In any event, I have a bunch of (general) questions:

  1. Nanny or au pair?
  2. Age of the nanny or au pair?
  3. If au pair, where were they from?
  4. Salary - what did you pay them?
  5. Benefits?
  6. Did they live in or live out? Did this affect salary?
  7. How long were they expected to work each day? Weekends? I understand that, contrary to what I learned in Mary Poppins, nannies are not on call 24/7.
  8. What tasks were they expected to perform? Errands (dry cleaning, grocery, etc.), keeping the house straight ( I understand that house cleaning is generally out)?
  9. How did you handle transportation? Obviously, an au pair will not be bringing their own car. What about auto insurance?
  10. How did you handle any health issues that arose with the nanny/au pair?
  11. One of the things we really liked about day care was that Little nrd got to interact with many different children and adults. How did you address this? Did you sign the child up for classes or play groups and was the nanny/au pair expected to take the kids to these? How much did you spend on this type of activity?

Thanks to anyone who responds. The closing of the daycare was a bit of a shock and we’re scrambling to figure out what to do.

2

No help here, but I always wondered: Why are they called an au pair when you only get one of them?

3

I see you are in the US, so things may be different there. In the UK, an au pair is a half time helper. Paid about £50/week + free room and board. They do about 25 h/week, mainly childcare. there are plenty of au pair and nanny sites on the internet. Here in Cambridge there are au pair agencies etc. Often we get the last au pair to recomend their cousin or similar. Obviously an au pair is no good if you need a full time helper 9-5/5 days a week. The idea behind an au pair is that it gives young people a chance to travel and work overseas, but giving them enough time to look around and enjoy themselves. We have found the best au pairs to be from the eastern european countries, slovakia, estonia etc. Avoid french au pairs (too snooty). There are some good australasian au pairs - they tend to be very outgoing and self sufficient. One problem is a fairly high turnover - at least 1/year as they get lonely, pregant etc

Nannies are full time, probably earn £200-300 /week + use of car. I don’t have any direct experience with these.

4

First, I’m going to say “her” because I’ve never met a male nanny, au pair, or family care provider, though I suppose they must exist.

We had a nanny for a year, and talked to a bunch. We have not used an au pair but our neighbor has so I know a little about that.

In a nutshell, your deal with your nanny can be anything you negotiate with her. They work independently or from an agency. Some will cook and clean, some won’t, although she should at least pick up after the child and fix lunch and snacks. Can live in or out. Law says you must pay SS taxes, etc., etc., but many work off the books. Other benefits are negotiated; we did not provide additional benefits to ours but some expect health insurance, etc. Age can be any, use your own judgement regarding their ability and responsibility. Everything varies widely. There are probably agencies in your area.

An au pair, OTOH, is generally affiliated with a formal program to give foreign college-age or early 20’s students an opportunity to work and study in the US. They live in and you provide all their room and board needs and a small salary ($12k per year? Not sure) but no need to provide other fringe benefits. The work is limited to child care, no housework. And the hours are limited too, but I don’t know the specifics. Generally they will be attending classes of some sort. And when they are off duty, the are OFF DUTY. Just because she’s in your house doesn’t mean you can ask her to babysit on a Saturday night. Au pairs are hit-and-miss because you are assigned one, you don’t get to pick one, although if the situation is unworkable you can request a switch (our neighbors went through that). My neighbors let their au pair use their third car, but I don’ t know if that’s required.

There are probably play groups in your neighborhood and the nanny or au pair should participate.

Also consider alternatives such as family day care. This is where a parent will care for their own children plus a small number of others in her own home. They are generally regulated and inspected, or at least you should only consider those that are.

Check with your employer to see if they offer any assistance for finding child care; my wife’s company does this through an outside firm and they do an excellent job. Check with your county or state, they probably have info on licensed care givers also.

Good luck!!

5

Thanks for the input. As it turns out, our local “Community Counselor” (local coordinator for the “Au Pair in America” program) is hosting a cultural fair this Sunday. She says that most of the local au pairs (20 or so) and their families will be there. Mrs. nrd and I are going and hope to talk to a number of families, maybe we can make a decision based on that.

Interestingly, I’ve learned today that the cost of the au pair will be roughly equal to the cost of two kids in daycare. Since we will be faced with just that problem in about 10 months, this should work out.

And postcards ya smartass, it means “on par” (though I just learned that today).

6

I do (exist that is). Would have said “we” but I’m the only one I’ve ever met.

I was in Germany for a couple of years and had a wonderful time. Great people, great food, and great beer. My situation was pretty informal. I got the job through an old employer, not an agency. Four kids but all in school. They lived on a farm so I did housework in the morning and farm chores in the afternoon. I could use their car whenever I needed to, although I tended to take the bus or train whenever the trip was more than a couple of hours. I had my own health insurance. Small salary ($400/month) + room and board. They were very cool about giving me time off to travel, visit friends, etc. I would expect that if you take a more formal route, then the parameters of what is expected will be much more rigid.

Good luck. You can always reassure yourselves by knowing that you are giving some lucky kid the opportunity of a lifetime.

BTW, my flight to Frankfurt was my first time on an airplane. I had a one-way ticket, a backpack, about $50, and a picture of the family I was supposed to meet. I had spoken to them once on the telephone for a couple of minutes. Needless to say I was a little nervous. As luck would have it, I was seated next to this smokin’ hot German girl. We get to talking and it turns out that she had come to America to be an au pair and was leaving after one week because she hated it so much!