AP Headline: "Supermodel Heidi Klum, Seal Engaged"

Isn’t that illegal?

I mean, I know seals are cute and all, and I don’t approve of clubbing them to death, but isn’t marrying one carrying this environmentalist thing a bit far, even for a supermodel?

Eve, you beat me to it! I thought the same thing when I saw that headline.

Your post is funnier than mine would have been, though.

These mixed marraiges never work.

Damnit, Eve beat me to it, and then h.sapiens goes and beats me to beating me to it!

Ahh well…

“Do you, Seal, take this woman to be your lawfully (‘lawfully’? That can’t be right…anyway…) wedded wife?”


On Seal’s website was posted the simple but cryptic statement, “Ork orrk ork orr orrk orr ork orrrk ork.”

Ahhh, ta hell witcha, Hal.

Heidi Klum’s car breaks down in a small town and she takes it to the mechanic…

I hope it works out for them, but I can see where it might not.

I mean, don’t you always hear about supermodels out clubbing?

(thank you. I’m here all the week.)

So I’m the only one thinking of Godzilla?

“The monster is attacking the city!”

“We must release the prototype robot Supermodel Heidi Klum!”

“But professor, that unit is still experimental.”

“It is our only choice. Begin Supermodel Heidi Klum activation sequence”

“Powering up main batteries.”

“Inject the collagen on 3 2 1”

“Begin laser depilation sequence”

“Power up Jimmy Choo rocket sling backs”

“Engage seal.”

“Ignition in 5 4 3 2 1”

“Well, there she goes.”

“Do you really think she can stop Godzilla?”

“She has to. She’s our only hope.”

Best laugh I’ve had all day, Doc’!

…grumble grumble Pepsi all over the damn monitor grumble grumble…

My favourite joke ever. Nothing to add to the thread, but I just had to comment.

Mind sharing?

Bryan, it has various punchlines but the first verse of this will give you an idea.

And the award for Best Hijack in an Already-Hopelessly-Divergent Thread goes to…

Mechanic: Looks like you blew a seal.
Supermodel Heidi Klum: Yep.

Sure…any excuse to trot this one out (It’s a rather different one than the one linked to.):

This is the story of Penguin.

Our buddy Penguin was out driving one weekend. Penguin, nice guy though he is, isn’t exactly a master of auto-maintenance, so, while he’s driving, his car breaks down.

Luckily for our friend the Penguin, when he breaks down, he’s not far from a garage. The mechanic helps him push the car into garage and takes a look at it.

‘Well, friend,’ says the Mechanic, ‘I think I’m going to have to take a good long look at your car.’ Now, it just so happens that there’s an ice cream shop right next to the garage. ‘Why don’t you go over and have a scoop or two on me.’

Now, penguins, as we all know, love ice cream, so Penguin happily agrees to go and have a couple scoops of his favourite ice cream, vanilla.

But penguins, having flippers as they do, rather than hands, for all their love of ice cream, are very messy when they eat it. So, by the time Penguin is finished his ice cream, he’s covered, head to flipper.

Now, by this time, Penguin figures that the mechanic must have some idea what was up with the car - since, as well as being messy, penguins are fairly slow ice cream eaters. So, he waddles over to the garage, and asks the mechanic how it’s going.

‘Not well, I’m afraid.’ The mechanic stops leaning over the car and turns to look at Penguin. ‘It looks like you blew a seal.’

‘NO!’ Penguin yells and starts cleaning himself off, franticly. ‘It’s just ice cream!’

On the upside, when the weather turns cold, she can make a really kicky little coat, hat and muff out of him.

Then there’s the one about an Eskimo who brought his snowmobile in for maintenance. “No, that’s just frost on my mustache!”

You folks just need to go with the floe. Six months after the wedding, the marriage will be on ice, with fur flying in all directions.

What kind of name is “Seal”, anyway? Was his mother frightened by a parka?