Transmitted by direct contact with one of your infections (usually through unprotected sex), you’re one nasty STD! In your initial stages, you cause sores, usually on the genitals or in the rectum, but that’s only the delicious beginning. Later on, you’ll cause a rash, and then slip away … but you won’t be gone. No no, my friend. You’re far too cunning.
You’ll still pass yourself on to anyone the poor soul you’ve infected has sex with (anal, vaginal or oral), and you’ll start to erode their muscles and nerves! In fact, you’ll eventually lead, if left untreated, to malcoordination, blindness, paralysis, dementia and then death!
And that’s not all - if you infect a pregnant women, you’ll also be passed to their child! A single shot of penicillin will kill you, but shhhhh … I won’t tell anyone if you won’t.
Transmitted by rabid animals, you’re most commonly found infecting creatures such as raccoons, skunks, bats and foxes. But don’t worry, you affect humans too, causing either paralysis or hyperactivity in your advanced stages, and ultimately death.
Your most famous symptom is hypersalviation - that delightful foaming at the mouth that we have come to know and indeed love. However, you can also cause hallucination; think of the fun you could have at parties!
You’re infamous. You’re usually deadly when left untreated. You’re spread by a flea.
That’s how cool you are.
If you wish, you can proudly tell the world that you wiped out much of the human population of the Earth hundreds of years ago with the following fine graphic:
Yes! I ROCK! I was shooting for ebola, but I got the mortality rate AND the infamy!
Yeah, that’s right. You’re a sexually transmitted disease. And it gets worse: you’re curable.
But fret not, my fine infectious friend; you have a fine array of symptoms associated with you that would make even rabies flinch.
Women suffer bleeding during vaginal intercourse, a burning sensation when they pee, and a delightful womanly discharge that comes in yellow muck or blood flavours. Men get to have a whole lot of pus coming from their penis. What’s more, you can be passed to babies as they’re being born, and cause them to go blind! That’s how cool you are!
I hate being rickets. How intimidating is anything that lacks a “c” even to manage to be a singing insect? Third world damage my ass! I want to have a presence in the developed countries–anyone care to trade?
