Apple computer in league with SATAN!!!

No really, check it out: (Just scroll past the stuff on PBS)

Hmmm… so many great quotes:

“consider the name of the company and its logo: an apple with a bite taken out of it. This is clearly a reference to the Fall, when Adam and Eve were tempted with an apple by the serpent. It is now Apple Computers offering us temptation, thereby aligning themselves with the forces of darkness” :smack:

“That’s right, new Macs are based on Darwinism! While they currently don’t advertise this fact to consumers, it is well known among the computer elite, who are mostly Atheists and Pagans.” :smiley:

“Furthermore, the Darwin OS is released under an ‘Open Source’ license, which is just another name for Communism.” :dubious:

I may go to hell but atleast I don’t have to use windows

Well, makes me glad I use God-approved Windows.

Well, sure using windows will save your eternal soul; but at what cost?

You know, that might make a good marketing slogan: “Windows: Man tested, God approved” or “4 out of 5 deities choose Microsoft for their smiting needs” (Wait… does that mean the apocalypse is going to be the blue screen of death?)

Or from that Apple side:
“Introducing the new iMac… Now with 45% more Hellfire.” (Hey, I would get one)

"This company is well known for its cult-like following. It isn’t much of a stretch to say that it is a cult. Consider co-founder and leader Steve Jobs’ constant exhortation through advertising (i.e. mind control) that its followers should “think different”. We have to ask ourselves: “think different than whom or what?”

Whoo-hoo! I’m in a cult! Do I get to quit my job?

Wow! That’s some of the best satire I’ve seen in…


It is? No way? Even the “Habu Missionary Gear - Bible Tote Bag” on the store page?


Oh well, time to go back to mindlessly staring at my Mac and absorbing the subliminal messages.

“Furthermore, the Darwin OS is released under an “Open Source” license, which is just another name for Communism. They try to hide all of this under a facade of shiny, “lickable” buttons, but the truth has finally come out: Apple Computers promote Godless Darwinism and Communism.”

Great! I’m a pinko… and all I ever wanted was tasty, lickable buttons…

WTF? lickable? does he mean likeable?

I thought that you’d tell us that they’d hired Steve Ballmer.

Steve Ballmer may be a crakced-up horny-toad, but at least he doesn’t support the Ungodly notion of ``sharing’’.

After all, where would we be today if Linus Torvalds had made his little class project Open-Source? What would have happened if RMS (Richard M. Stallman, most certainly not the founder of the Free Software Foundation and the GNU’s Not UNIX Project) hadn’t followed the crowd into proprietary software after his days at the Communistic MIT AI Labs?

I’ll tell you where: A world without the MS-Internet, the global network safe from information exchange and supported by the billions of happy, satisfied, law-abiding users (who frankly have no other choice).

After all, let the hackers have free reign and you get technical progress, the worst enemy of MS-Innovation ™.

Isn’t there some saying about God closing a door and opening a Window?

They should get Steven from the Dell commercials in their next ad campaign.

“Dude, you’re goin’ to Hell!”

Microsoft made Windows,
A crufty hack of DOS,
And everywhere that OS went
It was a total loss.
–Me, with apologies to The Great Quux

As for me, I’m packin’ my asbestos jammies, ‘cause I love my eMac. At least there’ll be great music and plenty o’ booze.

I think a quote from Apple exec Jean-Louis Gassee is in order here:

“One of the deep mysteries to me is our logo, the symbol of lust and knowledge, bitten into, all crossed with in the colors of the rainbow in the wrong order. You couldn’t dream of a more appropriate logo: lust, knowledge, hope, and anarchy.”

Of course, this quote was from back when the Offical Apple logo still had the now-phased-out horizontal colored stripes.

I thought Satan was banned. Or did Joe Cool persuade him to repent?

BTW, I had some customers (when I was selling computers part-time) ask if Apple was owned by gays because of the multi-coloured bitten apple logo. Will the madness never stop?

I just told them Yes, that’s why it’s better for design applications… Few of them ever got it.

The most disturbing thing about that: there are people who would probably agree with that walking amongst us every day. The fight against ignorance is not going well, folks. Be afraid.

Next time, on Fundamentalist Conspiracy Weekly: Proctor & Gamble: Simple Soapmakers for Satan? :smiley:

I think the saying is: Every time God tries to exit a porn site, He gets a popup window.

One thing though, the logo isn’t actually an apple. It’s a buffalo testicle.

[Homer]Mmmm. Buffalo testicles.[/Homer]

Ok, for my own sanity I must believe this is satire. How else do you explain this:

Sure, I can see a Chistian group going against the commercialization of Christmas, but scroll about halfway down. There’s a picture of Darth Maul with the caption “Commercialized symbol of evil whose name sounds like ‘mall’. Coincidence?”

Please, let me live in a world where this is not considered a rational argument by anyone. It doesn’t even have to be the real world.

la la la de da de da…

More Apple/Satan links:
[li]The Church of Satan uses Apple computers, and even did a parody of the Apple “Think Different” campaign.[/li][li]Apple’s Mac OS X is based on BSD Unix, whose logo is a cartoon devil.[/li][/ul]

Wait…wait…wait… All this time they been telling us Bill Gates is the devil and now it’s Steve Jobs!!!
Window is evil
OS X is the work of Satanists
Linux is communism
So the only Christian OS is OS2 Warp???:eek: