They’re magically auspicious!
Carried by elves to party in the underwear drawer. 
It’s a local PA story that caught my attention because I still have roots in the area and because of the brazen nature of the apparent offense and possible cover-up. Just pure corruption in letting him get away with this for so long. To sum up: Dauphin County Commissioner George Hartwick showed up at a meeting late (claiming that he had been at another event, but in fact had not been there) and appeared to be slurring his words, his car and a pillar in the garage were damaged, and afterwards no one could find him for awhile. This isn’t his first issue with drunken driving, either.
I love this! Fits the situation perfectly.
Of course I have had all kinds of benign random items end up in my underwear through the years.
I can’t explain it but some of them have been truly phenomenal. The runway part of a rosary that stayed in my underwear for nearly 16 hours was probably the craziest experience.
I can see some really wild out-take from The Exorcist in this story.
Color me a bit worried about your eternal soul. Which, as a devout atheist, is saying something.
Good luck, Honey; you’re gonna need it.
LOL! I was raised Catholic but have been an atheist for many years.
It was an accident from almost 40 years go. I was wearing the rosary as a necklace despite my mother’s admonitions to never do so.
Somehow the “runway” section with the cross and small line of beads snuggled into a spot on the lower side during work.
I looked for it frantically in the liquor store where I was working at the time, drove home (35 minutes) and was absolutely in despair that I had lost it.
I never noticed it until the next morning when I was making coffee.
I chalk this up to poor nerve endings in my backside.
I remembering being very embarrassed with myself and vowed to never tell anyone.
However, I actually wrote this one up as a mini story to entertain people.
I gotta booty big enough to swallow whole sacraments!
Lotta girlz be proud of that thang.
You go girl!! 
Cataracts? Cataracts?? I’m not old enough to have cataracts! But according to my eye doc after a routine exam today, I have them. Not bad enough to require surgery just yet, but it’s definitely coming, and she said in probably “less than 10 years.”
I hate having my eyes messed with. The idea of having them cut on just squicks me to the max.
Guess I’d better get over it. A massively first world problem, I know. But jaysus fuck. How did this happen?? (Rhetorical question; I got old.)
I’m in exactly the same situation. If it’s any consolation, I was diagnosed with cataracts in one eye and it was considered bad enough to be operated on, and I was offered a referral to a cataract surgeon. Natch, the procrastinator that I am, I said just leave it for a while. I think that was over five years ago, and here I still am, brimming with cataracts. What I’m saying is, it usually progresses slowly. Ten years from now you may barely notice any difference, though some of that will be your brain compensating. Yes, you and I will both need to get it done, but it’s usually not urgent. As I’m sure you know, we have several informative threads by people who have had it done, with before and after accounts. With one unusual exception that I recall, which was just a temporary setback, everyone was very happy – downright thrilled – with the results.
Ovechkin is a Putin supporter, Gretzky is a Trumper. Fuck both their records. Gordie Howe FOREVER! Partly because he’s dead, and can’t really embarrass the sport from the grave.
@Aspenglow my sweetie got a similar diagnosis recently. I feel for the both of you. Slicing on my eyes is one of the things I can’t really mentally abide until it becomes absolutely necessary. LASIK is right out. No one is shooting lasers into my eyes as long as I have a nose to hold up glasses.
Wait until your retina detach, and that black curtain rolls up. You will love the fact that they can weld it on again with lasers. It’s not fun, but it’s over in half an hour.
@Aspenglow and @wolfpup, learn from my mistake and do not procrastinate. I had a partially detached retina four years ago and the doctor told me I would get a cataract in that eye sooner rather than later due to the surgery. So, when the vision started getting cloudy in my left eye, I confidently procrastinated because I knew it was just a cataract. The doctor said it was one of the thickest cataracts he had seen in years. He had to do a second procedure to completely remove it. It cost me time, money and stress. Don’t be me.
Shit, I came by to whine (with crackers!) about being old enough to get wrinkles, lower back pain, many fun signs of perimenopause, while STILL GETTING FUGGIN ZITS!!@1! but after reading the last coupla posts, imma count my blessings.
While I can still see them.
Take two Nyquil around 8:30. You’ll sleep well.
My Mom needed cataract surgery on both eyes. I don’t remember the medical term, but during the procedure they replaced a part of both eyes. As a result, not only does she no longer have cataractes but for the first time since she was ten, she can see properly without glasses.
Of course, she was very happy about that. I still can’t get used to seeing her not wearing glasses.
My mom had cataract surgery in her 30s. I was surprised at how blue her eyes were once the lenses were replaced. She still had to wear glasses, though.
My oldest sister had congenital cataracts and only found out in her 40s/50s. I didn’t even know it was possible to be born with them.
Thanks to all for your kind words and anecdotes. It does help!
I will go under the knife or laser when my eye doc advises me to do so, but they’re going to have to tie me down, give me awesome drugs and endure my hysterical screaming. My preference would be for them to just knock me out entirely, but I gather they don’t do that.
This is mostly a response to having trouble free and excellent vision without visual aids for most of my life. I didn’t even need readers until I was nearly 50, and nothing besides them since. I only just started getting regular vision exams in my mid 60s. I still wear just readers.
The doc said the left eye is in worse shape than the right eye, and I can’t tell at all. So weird.
I can picture it now: I’ll take off the bandages after the post surgery healing period and discover that my house is painted in the most hideous colors imaginable. I just couldn’t tell until I had my cataracts removed…
Thanks again to all for your various advice, stories and support.
My mom (98) had cataract surgery. She complains that now she can see dust in her apartment.
My cataracts were noticed by the doc about 8-10 years ago now, so in my late 50s. They’re slowly growing, but aren’t enough of an issue to bother with. Yet. But that day will eventually arrive if something doesn’t kill me first.
Getting the IV in via which they indeed will give you awesome drugs is by far the worst part. The awesome drugs are titrated so you aren’t aware of nor would you/could you care what is being done to your eyes. I promise~I just had it done on Jan 14th and Jan 28th.
Nurses put in drops after the IV that completely numb your eye and the minuscule incisions never do hurt at all afterwards, nary a peep.
May I repeat? The IV drugs are awesome. You won’t care or worry.