Are all the animals bastards?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

*I have never seen a tabby
Down on one knee
Nor a jewelry shopping dachsund
That I never shall see!

The woods are full of creatures
Blissfully unaware
Living animal lives of sin
Happily, without a care

An invitation to a raccoon wedding?
A smitten chipmunk about to propose?
Surely I have never seen these things
Are all animals bastards, do you suppose?

Join the reception for the bears
So in love and tying the Knot
Come in celebration, Mr. and Mrs. Owl
You brought a gift, did you not?

All around the wild kingdom
All our furry, scaly and feathered friends
Mate for a day or mate for life
Yea, the bacchanalia that never ends

Do not pity these Godless beasts
Their lives are hard, heaven knows
Do not proselytize, just ask yourself
Are all animals bastards, do you suppose?*

2

I dunno, but I do know a Weimaraner that’s a right royal son-of-a-bitch.

3

wakimika, you might like this poem.

4

[Marge Simpson]“We never had a wedding for the cat and dog. They’ve been living in sin!”[/Marge]

5

[Homer] Wait a minute! Were that cat and that mouse kissing?! Cause if they were… [/Homer, now gesturing menacingly with fist]

6

My Dad came to visit one year and I pointed out a couple of my cockatiels: “Here’s Mozart and his wife, Nadya!” (Cockatiels mate for life after the male relentlessly harasses the female for several weeks.)

So my Dad asked “Married by clergy, I suppose?”

7

All ostriches are whores.