Yes, we’ve seen a number of examples of failure of imagination in this thread.
Please, PLEASE tell me you don’t do this when you’re at someone else’s home? I would NOT appreciate a guest doing so at my house!
Yes, you get completely undressed on the bottom and straddle the bidet. Bidet in French means something like “pony toilet” from the word “bider” which means “to trot.”
Nice article on the history of bidets and why they are only just now catching on in the USA:
OK, that’s my question. When using a free-standing bidet are you pooping on the toilet and then duck-walking over to the bidet? Do you take your lower clothing off before you even poop?
Yes, as mentioned above, my relatives take off their lower clothing before they poop. Most of my relatives use a water bucket or a hand shower or a shower, but I have seen a bidet: I just can’t remember where.
I confess that even though I’m a paper man, I normally poop before I get dressed in the morning.
We renovated our ensuite early this year, and had a bidet toilet seat fitted.
And it is fantastic. We have power-save set, so the water is heated on-demand, so if you are too quick, it’s a bit cold. And it isn’t always perfect cleaning-wise, but it is a massive improvement, and a quick wipe and rewash usually suffices.
It was a fantastic decision.
When i used a free-standing bidet, which i would describe as a “bath tub” type, rather than a “shower type” in a hotel in France, i didn’t use it instead of toilet paper. I used the toilet on the regular, dry way. But most days, instead of walking down the hall to use the communal shower, i took a sponge bath in my room and finished up with the bidet, to bath my nether regions. It was reasonably effective, and didn’t use much hot water. I suspect that’s the historical basis for the fixture, back when you had to heat the water on a stove and then carry it to the bath.
I now have a “shower type” bidet built into the toilet i mostly use at home. It’s a Toto washlet, and has a front setting as well as a back setting. I occasionally use the front setting when i don’t want to take a shower, but feel, um, like I’d like to be cleaner. I use the back setting every time I poop. Before I got it, I used a “Tucks” every time, after removing most of the debris with TP. I don’t think I’ve greatly reduced my use of paper, but I’ve stopped using the Tucks, and I’ve had no issues with hemorrhoids. I feel cleaner, too.
My bidet heats water on demand. I need to wait a couple of second after pressing the button before it starts spraying. The temperature is always perfect. (There’s a setting.)
I love my bidet.
I bought one today in honor of the this thread. Should arrive tomorrow. I’m a little concerned about the plastic T connector It comes with. (Luxe neo 185)
I’m going to have a professional install it. I could do it myself but my concern is a blow out while I’m away. Don’t want to come home to thousands of dollars in damages.
I recommend the Brondell Swash 1000. It’s medium-luxury level. On the automobile comparison chart I’d say it’s a nicely-appointed Acura rather than Rolls-Royce (or Yugo). The S1000 has a heated seat, heated spray with adjustable positions (someone said “joystick”) adjustable temperature and intensity, self-cleaning (to some extent), and deodorizing. A couple more things too, I think. It cost me about $600. It’s worth every penny of it. It’s the second Brondell S1000 I’ve owned.
Having a sort of fancy one is nice BUT not strictly necessary because IMO, bidets are a “can’t lose” proposition* in that, even the cheapest cold-water bidet is better than using toilet paper alone. Hell, squat toilets I’ve used in Thailand with a little water hose at the side but no toilet paper were better than having to use only toilet paper (ok, not all the time).
I think I was moved to buy a somewhat luxurious model because my introduction to bidet toilets was during a 4 or 5 week stay in a Tokyo hotel. I quickly grew to love having a bidet and I quickly came to appreciate a Toto with all the bells and whistles. I became addicted to top-shelf kit right out of the gate.
A Toto like I used there probably costs $2000, 3000, 4000? That was an entire dedicated bidet/toilet; I could never afford that! But it’s worth it to me to have as good a bidet as I can because it’s a lifelong thing–a bit like spending enough money on a good mattress.
*Maybe this is like the old pizza or sex tropes (when it’s good it’s really, really good. And even when it’s bad, it’s still good). **
I don’t know about you but, I am never absolutely certain when I might next eat pizza or have sex but I’m positive that I’ll need my bidet seat pretty much every day. And if I need it even more often then that it mean’s I’m sick and even more appreciative than usual.
**obviously this doesn’t include rape. Or Papa Johns.
Without getting into shitty details - yep, the bidet is worth it. The inexpensive add ons work fine.
Oh yeah, don’t turn that little knob unless you are sitting on the toilet! Ask me how I know.
to late to add on edit:
The moderately priced hotel I was in had, in addition to its bidet toilets, the very nicest mattress I have ever slept on. Well, I don’t know if it was “the nicest” like most expensive or highest-status or whatever, but it was by far the most comfortable sleep I have ever had.
I wonder if mattresses like that are only in the very best rooms in the very best U.S. hotels and that’s why I’ve never slept on one before. It is interesting to me that a mid-level hotel (maybe equal to a Hilton Garden Inn here) in Tokyo would have the best mattress ever.
Check the ratings to see whether you’ll need bigger toilet-seat bumpers as a result. We had to add them to both of ours that add on to existing toilet seats. It was not an issue with the fancier one that came with a heater and replaced the entire seat.
I have a bidet that’s a separate fixture adjacent to the toilet. I do my business, wipe once to remove most of the residue, then slide over to the bidet and finish the job, using some soap if required. The two fixtures are about 12" apart. My bidet is ceramic like a toilet and has hot and cold water plumbed to it.
If you think the bidet isn’t getting you clean enough, just give yourself a quick spray before droppage.