There is no such thing as bad pizza. There is pizza, and there is good pizza. There can be a world of difference between the two, but there is still no bad pizza.
I’ve had bad pizza. One bite and I’d-spit-it-out-if-it-weren’t-rude level pizza.
Sure there is. A supermarket here had pizza so bad my dad couldn’t even finish a slice and he’d eat almost anything. (Come to think of it my brother’s friend couldn’t finish a slice either and he’d eat almost anything too.)
Seriously though my personal favorite pizza in my area is technically a chain, Pizzeria Regina. (Actually it’s considered one of the best pizzas in the Boston area.) Like everyone else has said chain pizza varies. You basically go to a chain because you know what you’re going to get. A local mom and pop is basically a crap shoot and could be better or worse than Dominos. (Then again I never really had much of a problem with Dominos, I just thought Regina’s or Papa Gino’s were better or Town Spa if I wanted a bar style pizza.)
I’ve been to Uno, and it was mediocre. The sausage was as bland as tofu, as if all the spice had been eliminated for the tourist trade. Same thing with the over-praised Gino’s East. Both Giordano’s and Edwardo’s are better but Carmen’s is much better than either of those. And tiny local places like JB Albertos and Golden Crust are even better.
Yes, there is. I don’t remember the name of the place, but it was in a mall in a suburb of Winnipeg. Second worst meal I have ever eaten, exceeded only by the vegan Thanksgiving I had to suffer through. “Barley Loaf” is no substitute for turkey.
The OP must learn to differentiate hyperbole. Just because the same bunch says the same things over and over and over doesn’t make it true! The pizza snob would lead you to believe the only pizza worth eating is made by darling Italian elves, who grow the wheat, slaughter the pig for sausage, grow the tomatoes, etc. for sauce, and make their own mozzarella from the milk of Jersey cows. These miracle pizzas are only available in tiny local cubbyholes with handlettered signs in the window.
Horse puckey. 99% of Americans, including myself, eat frozen, home-made, but mostly chain pizza and think it’s just fine. I have had OK pizza, good pizza, and great pizza, but never ever bad pizza, from a Pizza Hut or Dominos or whatever.
The only bad pizza I ever had was from one of those sweet little local cubbyholes, because the dough was only half cooked.
This is the only bad pizza I have ever had too. Undercooked pan pizza with raw dough still in the crust. And it was from a local chain, LaRosa’s, that actually has pretty good pizza. Must of had the conveyors running at top speed that night…
How can the sauce be both very sweet and bland?
I’m a big fan of hyperbole and employ it extensively myself. But the “Chain Pizza is terrible!” thing is repeated so often, and by so many people, that I think it’s gone beyond hyperbole and into the realms of “Plausible”.
Now, I don’t live in the US. The “Chain” Pizza places here in Australia are, IMHO (and with the exception of Pizza Hut), pretty good. The “Gourmet” places that I’ve been to here are overpriced and, again, IMHO, not that much better (if at all) than the “Chain” places.
So, I was wondering if there was anything to the idea that “Chain” Pizza in the US really Wasn’t Very Good, hence the OP. Just because something makes a lot of money doesn’t make it “Good”, you see.
I am even now enjoying a Papa John’s thin crust Hawaiian BBQ pizza. The pizza guy brought it to my door, as he does many Thursday nights when I work late. He probably thinks I don’t even own a bra. It’s delicious.
Never heard of Gino’s East being over-praised. It’s kind of seen as a tourist destination, in my experience. The best chain deep dish in Chicago is probably Lou Malnati’s. Pizzeria Uno and Due are solid. Surprised you had bland sausage there. They make a solid pie. And they’re a worthwhile yardstick for the Chicago deep dish pizza scene, as Uno’s invented the damn thing. I’m surprised you like Carmen’s better than Giordano’s and Edwardo’s. It’s one of my least favorite pizzas in Chicago. The only one I hate more is Connie’s. At any rate, between all these places, there should be a pizza everybody will like. (I’ll add Pequod’s, Burt’s, and Art of Pizza to the best deep dish category.)
Well, there is the real possibility that Australian pizza culture is not quite as well developed as in certain parts of the US, so the quality difference is not as obvious. Or the difference between good and mediocre is not all that important or noticeable to you, which is perfectly fine. I have picky tastes about a lot of foods and drink, but I really don’t appreciate the difference between a $5 wine and a $50 wine, for instance. Unless it tastes like total ass, I don’t really care. Beer, on the other hand, is a different story.
My main criterion when evaluating food is do I think I can make it better (to my tastes) than the restaurant serving it? It doesn’t even matter whether I really can (even though I think in many cases I can) so much as does the effort or final result seem so sublime that I can’t possibly accomplish it, at least not without a lot of work and trial and error. With every single chain pizza place I’ve ever eaten at, I feel I could make a better pizza. Once again, at least to my own liking. This is not true of the great pizza places I’ve been to. They all make pies leaps and bounds beyond anything I could accomplish with the tools I have (although give me a wood-burning brick oven and I’m going to start learning…)
Rarely one to get into discussions about word usage
How ever,
Bland according to MW Dictionary, means not irritating, stimulating, or invigorating
Sweet to me is certainly going to neither irritate me , stimulate me, or invigorate me while eating pizza.
How ever, bland would be the opposite of spicy or food that contains gastric juice stimulating herbs (oregano/basil ) in the food world. Sweet and full of gastric juice stimulating herbs is a good combo, Sweet and Bland is Ketchup on dough with cheese and thats less than desirable in pizza.
I grew up in the NY Metro area. There was a wealth of local, independent pizzerias. That is the standard by which I judge pizza. If I were visiting my hometown I would never consider ordering from a chain.
Now I live near Baltimore. There are plenty of local independents here as well, but the pizza is really just what I will be calling “utility pizza” from now on. There’s one place near where I work that has pizza closest to what I grew up on among the local places, but they have a ridiculous system where when you call in they give you a number for your order, but when you get there it’s meaningless because they make you wait in the same line as the walk-ins ordering slices and it’s in walking distance from a college campus. They don’t deliver, either.
Pizza Hut is a popular place for families to go after my kid’s school events so we’ve gone, but none of us like the pizza there. My son likes the rectangular Elio’s frozen shirt cardboard pizzas so it’s not as if he’s a food snob.
Domino’s has coupons and deals that make it easier to accomodate three different people’s pizza preferences. If time and money were of no concern it wouldn’t be my choice but they are, and it’s tasty enough. I do notice a difference, particularly in the sauce, since they started with the “we made our pizza better” ads.
To me, Pizza Hut is “that bad”. My only Little Ceasar’s experience is at a nearby location that never seems clean. I haven’t enjoyed pizza that I’ve gotten there. The crust was kind of gummy and floury at the same time. Who needs that.
Well, as I said, it depends on if you live in a city with good local pizza places. But if you do, then yes, they’re much better than the chains.
Of course this is a bit of a tautology, because I wouldn’t consider it a “good local pizza place” if it wasn’t much better than the chains. But let me rephrase: Everywhere I’ve ever lived there were at least three local pizza places that were (in my opinion) substantially better than Pizza Hut, Papa Johns, or Dominoes. However, I have no trouble believing that there are places in America (to say nothing of the rest of the world) where this isn’t the case, especially some more rural areas where the overall density of pizza places is lower. Fewer pizza restaurants of course means a lower chance of finding a really good one.
Well, I’ve had bad pizza, like hard to eat bad. But none of the chains are that bad, they’re all, as you say, just pizza. So given that they’re practically ubiquitous, there really isn’t any good reason to eat the bad stuff.
Basically there’s good pizza, there’s pizza, and then there’s the stuff that you should never eat.
Can we hang out? Or can I at least get my camera ready?
Yes,! Pizza Hutt led me to gastric distress for two days. That is some greasy pizza. You pick up a piece and the greasy topping falls in the plate. Dominoes is like bread with tomato sauce and stale veggies. I like Italian pizza but there are not any in my town. We did get a brick oven Pizza restaurant that is very good.
It’s fast food not pizza or Abietz.
It looked great, I’ll grant you that. But the flavorless sausage killed it for me.
I’ve often found the originator of a foodstuff is often not the best example. For instance, I went out of my way to visit “Pat’s King of Steaks” for a cheesesteak. But they cook the sliced beef as large slices rather than breaking it up. It was OK in it’s own way, but I’d consider it the worst of the half dozen cheesesteaks I’ve had in Philadelphia.
I like it for their flavorful crust. Maybe there are weak locations - my favorite is the one by the Loyola stop on the Red Line.
One of the reasons I regret leaving the Boston area is that I can’t get Pizzaria Regina around here. A slice of sausage and a root beer is pretty damned close to heaven.
I find Pizza Hut to be really hit or miss; I’ve gotten some good pies from them but about 70% of the time I’m disappointed, and I really never order from there anymore. Papa John’s is pretty much my choice for the large chains. Even so, I’d generally prefer a California Pizza Kitchen frozen BBQ chicken to most delivery 'zas.
Fortunately, I’ve got a little family pizza joint about 3 blocks away, and they make some damned good stuff.
If you bring a pizza, but then you get the dubious prize of seeing me in my TV-watching glasses and rattiest giveaway pajama shirt. I’m not sure you’d think it a bargain.