$900/hr.?! :eek: Man, I need to get in on some of that action.
No kidding, eh? If I could get over the fact that I’d be sticking things in and sucking things out of people’s butts all day, I’d be looking at it as a job option…
Paging Dr. Bendover… 
With the alcohol absorption of the wine enema, is there any reason to doubt that a strong coffee enema could be dangerous for someone with heart problems?
That’s why you fill the bag with the contents of the orange pot.
Didn’t Steve McQueen have coffee enemas in an effort to fight the cancer that eventually killed him? I recall reading about this at the time in some of the supermarket publications. (Of course, they were supermarket publications…)
[Edina Monsoon] Colonic irrigation is nothing to sniff at, sweetie. [/Edina Monsoon]
Requisite Michael Landon story:
When Michael Landon was battling cancer, he was a guest on the Tonight Show. He told Johnny that he was willing to try anything if it offered even the remotest chance of curing his cancer, even coffee enemas. To which Johnny replied. “Don’t ever invite me to your house for breakfast!”
Michael busted out laughing.
Slowly raises hand…
I’ve had these. In high school. Sigh.
When I was in my senior year in high school, I broke out in this horrible inflamed itchy rash. It was all over my legs, the inside of my elbows, and the front of my neck. After some rounds to the dermatologist my mother got the bright idea to take me to a holistic “doctor.”
In addition to modifying my diet and testing me for allergies (they said I was allergic to everything from pork chops to Ranch dressing, they determined this by rolling a ball-point pen device over my finger and listening for the beep) I had to have chiropractic adjustments and high colonics. I wasn’t allowed to mix meat and bread together, and for breakfast, my mother would cook me a hamburger (no bun) and serve me raisins that had been soaking in water over night.
Needless to say, it didn’t work. So I was taken to another doctor and he wanted a stool sample. My mother thoughtfully provided an empty margarine tub to poop in, whereupon she would stick it in the freezer until the next visit to the doctor.
I balked. I was 17, having a horrible time my senior year with all the accompanying insecurities and self-esteem issues in addition to this very noticeable itchy red rash, and I wasn’t about to hold a margarine tub under my butt the next time I had a bowel movement and have said sample stuck in the freezer next to the ice cream.
I never did find out what the rash was. I think it was stress with a sudden allergy to cats, because when I moved away to college it went away and never came back.
Don’t blame the kitties. 
Stress, perchance, either by itself or in combination with an existing (slight) allergy or condition? It has been known to happen, 'specially when someone is trying to get you to poop in a margerine container.
Stranger
<homer simpson>If you like Pina colonics…</homer simpson>
Here’s the story behind the sherry
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I can definitely attest to that - one single liquiprep kit had me crapping for a weekend. Thursday night to monday morning, I ate something, it was out pretty much untouched in about 2 hours :eek: 
However, I did lose about 15 pounds through it…unfortunately it also rendered me so dehydrated it took 14 sticks to draw enough blood to crossmatch me, and I was slamming back water at about a liter an hour while i was awake.
I swore next time, I would either do the citrus death soda OR the little red pills, but never both - and the doc who insists that I do both can pack sand up his fundament and make one of those concrete castings like in tat other thread! :mad:
I know that whenever I drink my morning cup of coffee, I better be near a bathroom for the next hour. It keeps me very regular.
Maybe someone figured they might as well just put it up the other end.
Opps, sorry about that.
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/wireStory?id=469243
Re Coffee Enemas
During the reign of (IIRC) Louis XIV, enemas became a popular medical treatment. They were called clysters. The search for a better clyster led to the clyster pipe- the clyster technician would literally blow smoke up your ass. Apparently, the colon absorbs nicotine even faster than the lungs. The effect was said to be invigorating and became standard practice for reviving those who had fainted and as an aid in resucitating those rescued from drowning. On a purely scientific level ( I neither use illegal substances or stick things up my butt), I’m curious whether a clyster pipe would increase the effects of THC.
There has been a resurgence lately in quackery related to colonic irrigations, purges, “cleanses” and the like, often related to false anecdotes like the one about the vast amount of fecal material supposing clogging up John Wayne at the time of his death. This fascination with our bowels and the belief that they are the source of “toxins” goes back into ancient history.
Improperly done, useless colonic irrigations can spread infection and cause bowel perforation and sepsis. Coffee enemas have been fatal (there was a report in the Journal of the American Medical Association in 1980 on this subject). More on the irrigation craze here.
Coffee enemas also got a boost recently from England’s Prince Charles, a noted proponent of goofy health ideas.
There was a review in the paper over the weekend about a new book (I think one of the co-authors was Dr. Mehmet Oz) which recommends that people carefully examine their stool multiple times a day for clues to their health.
Even my dogs don’t spend this much time checking out poop.
I once had a client get light headed when I described the surgery her dog was going to have. I suggested she sit down, and guided her into a chair. Then I said, “If you still feel faint, stick your head between my legs.”.
Freudian slip? I don’t know. But the laughter brought her around and we still laugh about it. Glad I didn’t mention enemas!