Anyhow, on a flight between Austin and Denver, I found myself seated next to a doughy man with glasses and a neckbeard, and a doughy woman with glasses; they seemed to have the “I love Linux, paperback SF novels and Renaissance fairs” look about them. They made out through the entire two hour flight. I was reminded that whenever I see out-of-place PDA, more often than not it’s geeky couples that are the perpetrators.
“SELECTION BIAS!”, you might say. Maybe. Still, PDA isn’t that uncommon, but when it’s a couple that literally physically cling to each other to a degree you don’t see out of most people, couples making out in the line at a fast food restaurant or on public transit, or something similar, it’s usually going to be geeks.
In my experience, it’s rather unattractive people (except for teenagers). There was a 50 year old pair tongue wrestling right next to me in a Japanese restaurant while I was trying to eat my fucking lunch. You could actually hear them slurping. I completely lost my appetite. Last night during the Laker game there was actually a pretty attractive woman wrestling with an absolutely hideous dude who was old enough to be her father. Creeped me out, I tell you! I have to assume she was an escort trying to give him some sort of girl friend experience.
I would say no. As a self-proclaimed geek who has many geek friends, I see it no more amongst them than any others. I like to hold hands, hugging is fine. Brief kissing is OK, but any more than that should be left for private moments. (I at first thought the same thing Rigamarole)
I’ve only ever been with geek boys, and I’d say no. There are some types of geeks who think they’re The Shit and I can see them wanting to display their sexness to all the world…but for the most part, geeks are shy and would be way weirded out by doing more than holding hands in public. I think you just happened to be sitting near Mr. and Mrs. The Shit.
I don’t think geeks have the lock on over-the-top PDAs. That said, I do observe inappropriate PDAs seem to be perpetrated by those who want to be seen as deserving of a mate. Their actions seem to be a shout out for the world to “Listen up: I got someone!”
I am probably guilty of being one of these couples. Although I don’t consider myself and my bf to be unattractive, we are not Ken and Barbie either. And we are more doughy than wiry for sure.
And I run a group called The Charlotte Geeks - so yes, I am one of those pesky geek people too.
We do not have hour long makeout sessions in japanese restaurants - but we do tend to be affectionate in public. Of course, we also tend to be affectionate in private - even when we are not doing the horizontal lambada.
Most of the time when we are out - we are laughing and having a good time. And laughing makes me horny. (Seriously, you should see me after a night at the comedy club.) So I am probably more touchy-feely at that point do to hormones.
As for the kinds of PDA: we hold hands, he puts his arm around me, we look in to each others’ eyes and kiss. Not long, slurpy kisses - but maybe a couple of soft kisses in a row.
As for why - yup, it’s probably to announce how excited I am to be with Dewey. It took me over 30 years to find such a great guy - and I’m not afraid to show it. And I’m continually amazed that he loves and wants to be with me.
I would apologize, but in reality, I don’t really care if it annoys people around me. Cause I’m too damn happy to notice . . .
I think this is a key point. People in general tend to be much more over-the-top when the experience is unfamiliar. Call it the Romeo and Juliet effect. Teenagers, experiencing their first loves, are the commonest example of this. But people who are not conventionally attractive are less likely to have accumulated the experience that would make them blase about being in love. A thirty year old geek is the equivalent of a fifteen year old.
I think that for a subset of homo sapiens nerdus, that’s pretty accurate, but amplified by the fact that they’ve spent all of high school (and maybe longer) thinking that sex is only for other people, so they’re even more excited to continually explore sexual relationships (there may or may not be some subconscious worry that things will return to normal sexless mode soon so they can’t waste a microsecond).
And of course the nerdus subspecies is stereotypically less attuned to social cues and behavior, and tends to disdain conventional mores anyway, so there’s less resistance to maybe-too-public displays.
I haven’t observed this. What I have observed is people who think they’re so much more attractive and wonderful than everyone else are the ones who tend to play tonsil hockey in public. Personally, whether the people involved are beautiful or ugly, I find anything more than a bit of hugging and hand-holding in public nauseating, but then I’m a crank. I also don’t care for the SO getting too affectionate with me in public either.
Ditto - except I have also seen really unattractive people smooching. A couple came into our office a couple of weeks ago. No prizewinners they, and they had come to broach a business proposal with my boss. I told them she was on the phone, and they were welcome to wait, which they did, while making kissy-faces and smooching and playing touchy-feely. I wanted to say, do you not think I am going to tell my boss all this? How freakin unprofessional that is? You’re doing this right in front of me!
To me it totally smacks of being juvenile and “can’t keep your hands off each other”. Get a room.
Gee thanks. Now I’m having Ball and Stick flashbacks.
Ball and Stick were stellar examples of the species nerdus getaroomus. And you can imagine how geeky they were if they were considered hopelessly geeky by the standards of Carnegie Mellon. (She was Ball. He was Stick–just in case you were wondering.) They were constantly all over each other, and it seemed like they made a point of doing it in the most public places they could find. Yeccch.
And for what it’s worth, my aversion isn’t just because they were nerdy and ugly and smelly and gross. They were obnoxious, too. Ball was in a bunch of my classes freshman year. She wasn’t a nice person.
That’s exactly what I think was going on with Ball and Stick. Unfortunately, by calling attention to themselves that way, it caused people to think, “Jeez, that’s the best you can do?” and “Good lord, you have horrible taste!”
You know, that’s a brilliant response. I would imagine that after you’ve been in the desert for a week, when you finally reach an oasis you’re going to be drinking a LOT of water.
There was this less than attractive couple making out in a bar one night. I was sitting right next to them. The bartender kept making sour faces everytime she looked at them.
I noticed the guy’s attention was half divided in between the girl and a basket ball game that was playing on the TV.
I told the bartender: “How much you wanna bet I can make these two lovebirds start fighting?” She took me up on that bet. So I waited for the guy to start kissing the girl again. Right when he was tonsil deep into his GF, I shout out to the TV: “YEAH! GET IT! GET! SHOOT THE DAMN BALL!!” I gave the impression like a really awesome play was happening with the game. (There was NOT an awesome play going on.)
The guy abruptly stops kissing his GF to look at the TV. The GF immediately starts in on him; “HEY! YOU MORE INTRESTED IN THAT GAME OR ME?!” They continued to go back and forth for the rest of the night.
