Again, I think there needs to be an understanding of how poverty is different than not poverty. My school had one rich girl, too. Her lavish lifestyle was often a topic of conversation. Her dad, you see, was a dentist.
In other words, there were no wealthy families to build soccer fields. I remember bake sales being a bit of a burden in my household- bringing something to them was an unexpected expense, and more than one or two of them a year was a lot more than we could easily do. And we were not despondent, just on a budget. School spirit or not, you can’t squeeze blood from a turnip.
A lot of boosters get sponsorship from local businesses. It takes some degree of confidence to approach a business owner, especially if they don’t have any children involved in the school.
That absolutely happens. It happens out of snobbery, it happens out of ignorance, it happens out of poor social skills. What would you have people do? Would the school and the kids have been better off if no one helped?
Well the school can stop trying to make me feel guilty for not wanting to play with the Mean Girls, I suppose. If their help is better, more productive, more gung ho and organized and generous - more valuable, in other words - than moejoe’s and mine, then that’s fine. Just stop sending home notes begging for me to come in and help out if my help isn’t really required or welcomed.
moejoe, yeah, I feel about as big as a quark when I go near that Parent Association sharktank. (they’ve taken the Teachers entirely out of it at our school; it’s just the Parent Association now)
If it’s money that could be spent to improve someone, anyone’s academic resources, then of course it comes at that expense. Someone is choosing one as a priority over another. Now, they are free to make that choice, of course, but others can also legitimately be outraged about it.
No, that’s “working hours” for white collar office workers. You may have noticed that anywhere you go on a Friday night at 7:00, there are people WORKING there. Hell, stick around your own office until 7:00 on a Friday and you’re bound to notice that there are people working there. Your recycling bin isn’t self-emptying.
For many of those people emptying your trash or serving your drinks or helping you pick out the right smartphone, it’s not a madmoney job, it’s how they pay the bills. They can’t just “find someone to cover” and take the night off to go to a high school football game.
Legitimately? I disagree. Your priorities may differ from your neighbor’s, but each of us is free to direct resources to enhance the lives of others in whatever way we see fit. Absolutely nothing prevents parents from boosting or seeking funding for spelling bees, debate team trips, science fairs, etc.
The “back to school list” for my kid’s 2nd grade cousin consisted entirely of art supplies. $40 for crayons, construction paper, glue sticks, glitter, etc. Granted, she’s a lefty with a talent for drawing, but there are other kids in her class who will never use refrigerator art in real world applications.
Legitimately? I disagree. Your priorities may differ from your neighbor’s, but each of us is free to direct resources to enhance the lives of others in whatever way we see fit. Absolutely nothing prevents parents from boosting or seeking funding for spelling bees, debate team trips, science fairs, etc.
The “back to school list” for my kid’s 2nd grade cousin consisted entirely of art supplies. $40 for crayons, construction paper, glue sticks, glitter, etc. Granted, she’s a lefty with a talent for drawing, but there are other kids in her class who will never use refrigerator art in real world applications.
Whenever I ( or anyone I knew) worked a job that wasn’t M-F 9-5, the shifts that were most difficult (sometimes impossible) to trade were Fri nights and anytime Saturday or Sunday.
Unless you’re a server or a bartender, in which case it’s less difficult to find someone to cover, precisely because those are the nights when you make the majority of your money. Most people aren’t prepared to sacrifice a large percentage of their weekly income to attend a high school football game.
And jesus christ I can’t believe that we’re judging parenting quality by attendance at high school football games. Texas is weird.
I think the relevance of moejoe’s point is to the motivations of the sort of parents (in some places) who are both affluent enough and inclined to be regular boosters. They are not “saints.” Their boosterism is about their own fulfillment and status, not about improving the school and school community per se. Sure, the school is better in some ways with their help than with nobody’s–but it’s not hard to imagine that it could be better still, in more ways for more kids, if there were a different dynamic.
Because if a kid devotes that much time, effort, and discipline to participate in something he or she enjoys, it would behoove the family members of that kid to show pride and support.
How is it misguided? I understand clearly how it all works - I think it’s shameful that so much effort goes into something that is marginal in these kids’ success at best, while many, many other kids are so lacking in opportunity.
There is no confusion on my part - I just think it’s a shitty choice on where they spend their resources.
This is a blatantly and tellingly ignorant statement. Others have explained why, but I just want to highlight the moral dimension of this. You’re not just incorrect. You’re doing something wrong when you say the above.
No, it’s cultural. You’re talking about the parents supporting their kid. The parents of the Quarterback supporting the Quarterback.
That wasn’t the OP’s question, if you notice. The OP’s question was about the kid’s school. People in some states, in some small towns, in rural areas especially, do indeed tend to identify with their school. So yes, they’ll support the school, not their child, by showing up to school events even if their kid isn’t involved. Or even if they no longer have kids at the school. Or sometimes, even if they never had kids at the school. And part of how some people “support the school” (not just a particular student) is by showing up at school events like football games and plays and concerts.
My SO lived 25 years in a small town in Western New York. He didn’t grow up there or go to school there himself. He had no kids in the school, but still refers to it as “our school”, and he’d be Santa Claus for the kids at school, and take the firetruck to the school on game days, and that wasn’t weird or unusual behavior in that small town. Nearly everyone went to Homecoming, and Pep Rallies and school plays, even if they’d not gone to that school. It was just what you did. (And, to be honest, with one bar and no movie theater, there weren’t a whole lot of entertainment options in that town, so why not go to the school events? Gets ya outta the house.)
Only parts of it! 5 years of my youth spent there, and I assure you school sports were not a big deal. We were well aware of the parts where they were, and we all knew how they make the state look to the rest of the country. I was fortunate to attend a school where most of the parental enthusiasm was directed toward academic pursuits. The focus was very much on future career and academic opportunities. Thank you, anonymous donor, for that subsidized trip to colleges out of state (since I wasn’t going to college in Texas), even though I didn’t go to any of those schools I visited (applied and got into two though).
No, but sometimes it would be better if those people didn’t help. It’s not always the the more affluent people who do this. My kids went to a parochial school that was in some sort of time warp where most of the the mothers did not work outside the home although they were by no means affluent. The purpose of the fundraising committee was to raise funds to operate the school and keep tuition low. When these mothers ran the fundraising committee, they ran events that were time consuming ,difficult for working parents to participate in and raised little money (cupcake sales and such). One year, a few working parents were on the committee. They ran events that took less total time, allowed working parents to participate , and raised more money.( a baseball card show, a flea market etc )* The next year, the SAH mothers wrested control back- to them it was all about having somewhere to spend their days, not raising funds.
*Cupcake sales happened once a month or so,and required 200 families to either bake or buy baked goods to be sold and 10 parents to stay at the school all day to sell the baked goods. They made $200-300 a month. Financially, it would have been better if we just donated the cost of the ingredients. The larger events required that ads be placed in newspapers, that one person keep track of the tables rented and fees collected, and that perhaps ten people work on the day of the event selling refreshments and such. These events made a couple of thousand dollars.
