It seems that every year since I turned fifteen, I dread my birthday whenever it looms close. Everyone’s all excited about being adults and fulfilling their responsibilities while I’d rather not deal with any of it. I think what I’m concerned about the most is the fact that I love going to (rock) concerts. Sometimes, just standing the crowd, or moshing while the amps are on full blast makes me forget about those damn responsibilities. But the thing is, most of the bands I go see appeal to a younger crowd. Even now, when I go concerts, I’m at the boderline age of being too old to attend unless I was chaperoning or something of that nature. And it occured to me, hardly anyone there over 25 was there enjoy the shows for themselves. I’m far away from 25, but am I really that far? Time just seems to keep moving and moving, and it’s not going to stop for anyone, especially not me.
And that’s not my only concern. The idea of getting out of my own and the idea that I have to be self sustaining scares me. In two and a half years, I will be out of university, and I will have to find a “real job” that doesn’t include being a customer service monkey. I only picked my major because it was interesting and easy, I really don’t know what I can do with it, or if any jobs in that field interest me. The knowledge is interesting, but I don’t know if the hands-on actually involved work would be. It seems like I’ll never be able to move out of the house. Whenever it gets so bad I want to pack up and leave, I always calm down after a while, and think that I’ll never be able to make it on my own, so why try and fail?
Every year, I go through this process, and every year, I end up worse off even after my birthday. 
I know nobody ever really knows what anybody else is going through… but I think I do know how you’re feeling, because I feel the same way.
The fear isn’t rational, and it isn’t healthy, but we can’t help feeling it–it’s there.
All I guess I can say is: we’ve gotta do it. Take that step forward, move out on our own, try as hard as we can.
Send me an e-mail, if you can? I’d love to talk to you further.
Hi there Seven,
Boy was I ever in your shoes (living at home and terrified of suddenly being on my own). All I can say is, try breaking the whole thing up into manageable parts. What is the first thing you need? What’s after that? For me it was: what is it going to cost me to live (rent, groceries, ectc), and how much money do I need to be making to be able to do this? You can revise your plan at any time, but having a plan is, at the very least active, which always makes me feel I am contributing something to my destiny rather than floating along in panic. Breaking the thing down into steps also made me feel that it wasn’t giant impossible thing to do but a series of doable steps that I could probably manage.
If you are living at home and discover that it is going to be very tough to transition from school to entry level job to out-on-your-own, then I suggest bringing the subject up now with your folks. Let them know where things stand and how much you think it will take to live…then ask if you can help yourself transition by paying a certain amount of rent, groceries, etc. This may or may not be appropriate in your case, but it will go a long way to helping your folks know you are not waiting for circumstances to force you out of the house.
Another thing you might try is an interest inventory. I think one is called Scott-Campbell (it’s something Campbell anyway). Your guidance folks should be able to help you there. This is a test that asks all kinds of questions about your interests and gives you results. Your results are then compared to those of people who are actually working in a profession. The test then gives you suggestions as to what kinds of things you might enjoy. When I took it, I was floored at the things they suggested, as some of them I didn’t even know existed. Also, there is a huge reference book that goes along with this that descibes jobs, what entry level salaries are, and whether or not they are experiencing growth, no growth, or decline in numbers of people needed.
As for your musical tastes, mosh 'til you’re afriad to break bones…enjoy what you like with y our whole heart.
Good luck!
Strong-Campbell, and yes, it’s a very good test.
Live sound mixing is my advice to you. I did an audio engineering course at a recording studio and ended up managing the band I was mixing live. The managing was no great fun but having a 10,000 watt PA at my command was very cool. No-one cares what your age is if you can pull a good sound and by doing the front of house sound for a support band I spent every night, for years, working at venues listening to live music.
If you know what you are doing you get to hang around with the crew from the headliners and learn from them. I used to go home after shows and it wouldd take me hours to wind down.
By the way you are never too old for anything. I saw the Sex Pistols and the Clash in London in the 1970s. I saw Motorhead play their first show. I have seen INXS play to 16 people. I go and watch whatever I like. This year - Chris Isaak, Eskimo Joe, Spiderbait, Elvis Costello, Cypress Hill, D12, probably Powderfinger, The Living End, inumerable pub bands. I am over 50.