There is definitely a movement for a simple life though. Small houses, earlier retirement. I have far more friends interested in downsizing when then no longer have kids at home than spending that money on bigger homes - like some people who are older than me did.
To me the scariest one (not for us because we stashed money for it like madmen) is college - so many people my age are putting themselves - and their kids - into debt for college. If the kids don’t graduate into a good economy, then they move back home and then you work longer supporting your kids because they have student loans. The reason we stashed money like madmen for college was so that the kids could graduate and live like we did out of college - no student debt in a crappy apartment with roommates working at a coffee shop while looking for a real job.
I think the op got it in one. at 50 I went from financially insulated to cannibalizing retirement in 6 years. I survived but it wasn’t pretty. As always it could have been and could be a lot worse.
Impossible.
Plan all you want and checkmark all your ‘shoulds’ but the crapshoot of adversity looms (at any age). Although many do plan to a certain degree the unexpected loss of a spouse, for instance, a tailspin still occurs and evaporates the hand you were playing. Move on, reinvent, get back in the game - sure. At midlife, though, it is scary.
QUOTE=tuesdayweld;18137270]Impossible.
Plan all you want and checkmark all your ‘shoulds’ but the crapshoot of adversity looms (at any age). Although many do plan to a certain degree the unexpected loss of a spouse, for instance, a tailspin still occurs and evaporates the hand you were playing. Move on, reinvent, get back in the game - sure. At midlife, though, it is scary.
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I think its scariest when your kids are young. For most people (although not TokyoBayer), their kids aren’t young when they are in their 50s. That’s already taking a lot of pressure off me, and mine aren’t through high school yet.
Yes, they may screw up their lives, but now they are their lives to screw up.
And I don’t need to provide security to give them that safe development cocoon. If I get sick and die, my kids don’t grow up without a mom. If my husband has a heart attack, they’ve had their Dad through their formative years. In a few years, if we have to live off half of what we do now, the kids will have left the nest - or at least the requirement that we financially support them will be gone.
For me, those were the cold sweat years - and the reason we can semi retire now. Because those scenarios scared me so much that I built those safety nets - exercise, financial security, job security.
(In addition to taking care of yourself, do what you can to keep yourself looking young. People at work thought I was in my mid 30s instead of my late 40s. Don’t smoke, stay out of the sun, run a dye or rinse through your hair, exfoliate and moisturize - yes even men. Keep your resume dates within the last fifteen or twenty years - past then it doesn’t matter anyway.)
I think its scariest when your kids are young. For most people (although not TokyoBayer), their kids aren’t young when they are in their 50s. That’s already taking a lot of pressure off me, and mine aren’t through high school yet.
Yes, they may screw up their lives, but now they are their lives to screw up.
And I don’t need to provide security to give them that safe development cocoon. If I get sick and die, my kids don’t grow up without a mom. If my husband has a heart attack, they’ve had their Dad through their formative years. In a few years, if we have to live off half of what we do now, the kids will have left the nest - or at least the requirement that we financially support them will be gone.
For me, those were the cold sweat years - and the reason we can semi retire now. Because those scenarios scared me so much that I built those safety nets - exercise, financial security, job security.
(In addition to taking care of yourself, do what you can to keep yourself looking young. People at work thought I was in my mid 30s instead of my late 40s. Don’t smoke, stay out of the sun, run a dye or rinse through your hair, exfoliate and moisturize - yes even men. Keep your resume dates within the last fifteen or twenty years - past then it doesn’t matter anyway.)
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No, what I’m suggesting is anything but impossible. Yes, absolutely, you can get t-boned at any intersection of life and reality, with or without any warning or chance to avoid the collision.
What I meant is that at 50 or so, it’s time to reduce a lot of risks - you can’t invest like you’re 25 with your first big nut. You shouldn’t buy a house or other major purpose that strains your personal budget to the near-breaking point. You shouldn’t ignore basic health and fitness issues. You basically cannot keep living your life - personal, family, career and economic - like you’re twenty years younger and more resilient in every way.
There’s a sense, quoted in this very thread, that something about modren life has pushed youth and resilience out a few decades - “50 is the new 30.” No, it’s not. You can certainly keep doing many things that were once beyond graceful middle age, but you can’t keep living stupid. (I have some strong theories about the why and the purpose of that trope, but I’ll keep them out of this thread.)
Living like you’re 25 until you broadslide your Vette or Harley into the Social Security parking lot has probably crushed more lives unnecessarily than many other things.
Avoid the pitfalls you can - and should. That gives you a firmer place to stand when that crisis whips outta nowhere at 56.
No one decade scared me…I remember not liking 20, because I was deemed an adult and if I made a mistake I wouldn’t be forgiven as easily as “oh well she is just a teenager”. Then the big one 60 , it suddenly dawned on me that I would be dying sooner than later. I always knew that we all die some day…but at 60 it seemed that someday was actually almost on me. Now I am 75 and I begin to understand why most old folks seem to accept dying so gracefully.
Mid-50s here. Two college aged kids, and aging parents whom we’re supporting, combine to leave us more “on the edge” financially than we have ever been.
Relatively secure jobs, as such things go, but that could always change and then we’re screwed.
As others have said, there’s the very real fear of something happening and not being able to find another job, one of us becoming disabled and there goes the health insurance, etc. I’ll definitely feel safer once we’re in the “can take Social Security” age range, and better once we’re Medicare-eligible.
Side question: So what would happen in the event of a sudden catastrophic occurrence in which you are in your 50s and lose everything, and I mean everything? I know we’ve had posters here in varying degrees of homelessness, but what could your average 50s person expect in the way of social support in the US these days? (The wife and I are reasonably set, but I am always expecting the next Great Depression to be just around the corner and occasionally wonder about this.)
I was well on my way to losing my home when I finally got a job. I learned that (had my unemployment continued) I would have been better off as a renter. There are subsidies available to pay rent to keep you from being homeless, but nothing similar for mortgages.
I wouldn’t have starved. I got $200 a month of “food stamps” (though it’s not called that any more and the money is loaded onto a debit card), which was more than enough for me.
There was no health insurance available to me. The state sponsored MedicAid program was only available to men and women with dependent children, and the children too of course. Single men were apparently free to die on the street.
Thanks. I did some volunteer work at the Waikiki Health Center back in the day, and they had a lot of medical resources for the homeless. I guess Hawaii would not be that bad to be homeless in, if you have to be homeless. At least it’s warm.
Oh, there was the only time I got rif’d- laid off- (with 60 others) after 16 years there (took a better job next day 100 miles away, further north in ice belt), retired (temporarily) 11 years later. Still working back in previous (sunbelt) town. Never unemployed since college.
And the loss of Mom, the successful removal of colon polyps, the onset of BPH (still on those f’in’ meds).
I’ll be 55 this year. Nothing horrible has happened to me yet (yet!:eek: ) I know lots of folk my age or younger who have had cancer, heart attacks, etc… My wifes friend was only 54 when she had a widow maker last Spring.
But I do have the usual creaks snaps and pains that go with this age even though I work out and kept myself in pretty good shape.
Perhaps I should update THIS parody I wrote and change it to “Welcome to your your 50’s”.
