I’ve traveled all over the US east coast, and have spent an appreciable amount of time in both urban and rural areas in most states east of Texas.
Long story short: the stereotypes hold up well in my experience.
Interestingly, Cleveland was the friendliest “northern” city I spent time in. Atlanta and Orlando were probably the worst of the “southern” cities I visited.
Native Southerner, now resident in NYC.
Southerners are more polite. But we can also have a cruel streak.
New Yorkers are, IMHO, the nicest “big city” people. No, its not like being in a small town where everyone knows your name. But they are by far the most likely to help you out in their own brusque manner if they see you wandering in circles trying to find the subway. “What ya do is, ya go downtown and transfer to the E!”
Philadelphians are seriously unpleasant, in my experience. Southern Californians are friendly but in a very shallow way – even if you think you’re friends, when you’re out of sight, you’re out of mind.
I’ve only visited New York twice, but this was my experience as well. It seemed like people were both willing to help tourists and willing to share their (sometimes rather blunt) opinions and advice. I’ve forgotten the details now, but we asked someone for directions to ABC once and were not only given directions but warned that ABC was crap and we should really go to XYZ instead.
It’s a bit simplified to say that (US) Southerners are friendlier, but there is a culture of friendliness to strangers in the South that diminishes the further north you go. But there’s also a urban vs. rural making that more complicated–the more urban, the less friendliness.
And, yes, often that friendliness is quite superficial. And, in some ways, Southerners are less friendly–they are less tolerant of certain differences. But with only the level of granularity offered by the poll, I have to say that they are friendlier.
And I’m around 30 minutes or so to the south of Mason-Dixon line.
So, restating what I had already said, over and over, as if I’d gotten it wrong isn’t argumentative? Okie dokie.
I’m pretty sure most people here are familiar with the nuances of what “stereotype” means, so I suspect very few were under the impression that I was lauding their accuracy and specificity. I suspect a few may have even realized what I was actually saying about painting entire regions with the same broad brush.
I don’t know what race you are, but Southerners in general are friendlier to all races, and Northerners are friendly to their own race and fairly hostile to other races in my experience.
In my experience, southerners of all races in Houston have been quite friendly, much more so than when I lived in the pacific northwest.
OOOH!
My very thought!
This Arky’s opinion is that Bentonville isn’t in the South. You surely intuited that the large numbers of transplants have done a lot to transform NWA.
I voted “USA: Southerner, Southerners are more friendly” but I do think it’s very important to not just view it as a one-dimensional concern. Most people everywhere are very friendly. If Yankees are “less friendly” it’s usually with regard to superficial social customs like waving at strangers. The fabric of society is not weakened if some stranger doesn’t wave or nod back to me.
Rural v. city (v. suburban) begins to complicate things.
As others have pointed out any statement deserves a huge asterisk for “* Depending On Your Race” but even that needs its own qualifications. The North is hardly a racial paradise. The South isn’t 1965 Selma.
drewtwo99, my experience of Oregon is the opposite of yours. Compared to the East Coast, people here are way more polite and friendly.
Fair enough. But then again, I’m from California, and if you rub us the wrong way things so bad quickly.
I just had a run in with a purebred southerner (SE Texas/Louisiana region) and I was getting the cops involved and lawyering up, while simultaneously kicking them out of the apartment. When pushed to a certain point, I don’t f*** around.
I guess I’m what the Southerners consider a “yankee”, or something, strictly bred from the West Coast. I’ve been all over–Colorado, Utah, New Mexico, Florida, Texas. Having spent some time in the “deep” south–Southeast Texas region–I’d safely say I would be fine if I never again returned there. I experienced a lot of phoniness and passive aggression. Some people seemed very, very friendly (and being northern, I took it at face value at first and was thrilled), but boy can they be two faced and viciously backstabbing. I didn’t understand it at first, now I just accept that’s the way many southerners are and distrust the in your face friendliness. I don’t have time for that nonsense. I haven’t made up my mind on southern “metro” large areas like Houston and Austin, they might be different because of the size and cultural diversity.
If I had to choose, I’d choose the honest, blunt northerners, because at least you know where you stand with them. But maybe that’s my preference with being brought up that way.
The friendliest and most genuine people I ever saw were from Colorado–honest, sweet, unpretentious.
I don’t think this applies to Florida, I think we’re all a-holes here. At least South Florida. From my experience, Northerners are friendlier.
I tend to find Southern Zombies a little more polite about ripping a person’s throat out than Northern Zombies…
I’m a midwesterner who was married to a southerner and the seeing the ‘nice-off’ between my female relatives and my hubby’s foster mother and sisters at our wedding was instructional indeed. Midwestern women will come into another woman’s kitchen, roll up her sleeves and go to work. Not to be mean, it’s just what you do to be helpful to a sister when there is work to do. Southern women don’t take it that way at all and didn’t like it. They viewed it as critical. Both groups of women were fine people with good hearts, but their methodologies differed.
The biggest difference I could see between the two sets of women was that the more frustrated/angry/upset/disgusted, etc. the southern women would get, the more flowery their speech would become. I quickly learned the southern truism that if a woman says ‘bless her heart’ about someone, she definitely does not like or approve of that person or their behavior. When a midwestern woman disapproves of another woman, she will say so plainly, although it will clearly pain her to do so and she’ll say that, too.
When I moved to Colorado, I encountered an entire different species…,.the Western woman. They are a ‘can do’ bunch much like the midwesterners, but they cut out most of the chit chat and niceties and just get down to the task at hand. I’ll never forget our 60ish neighbor lady shoveling our front walk the first winter we were here. It had snowed while both hubby and I were at work, so we hadn’t neglected it, just hadn’t gotten home to do it. When we pulled up, our neighbor was just finishing the job. We weren’t sure if we should be grateful or embarassed. She just said “It needed to be done and you weren’t here, so I did it for you.” That didn’t tell us much either. But after a while we learned that that was just the way it was done here. If it needed doing, and someone else couldn’t do it, you did. Also very nice people with good hearts, but with a different methodology.
I’m from New York. I remember being astonished when, in Iowa, cars actually stopped for pedestrians at the crosswalk. With that said, I think the question isn’t one of “friendliness” - I think (or at least hope) that North or South, the proportion of jerks to nice people is fairly stable. It’s more of how openly one’s culture shows that - I wouldn’t normally greet a stranger on the street, etc, which someone else might find rude. (Also, I suspect some differences are over-stated for comedic purposes; I’ve seen plenty of people up here stop to help a stranger with a tire and whatnot).
As a black Southerner, I will say that I’d rather deal with Memphis racists rather than Manhattan ones. Here if a person is racist you’ll find out pretty much right away. Up there it’s more likely to be hidden.
Please note that I am not talking simply about white racists in that assessment.
I’m from Western New York, but live now in the Midwest, and have lived all over the States. I don’t believe that general friendliness fluctuates all that much. However, I do think back home we’re more genuine and direct than other places. Here especially, it seems like people are more than happy to say nice things to your face and then talk trash about you when you leave the room. Back home it’s likely someone will let you know they don’t particularly care for your attitude while you’re standing right there. This has caused me some growing pains with the locals.
You need a choice for “neither are friendlier”
In many ways friendlier is not really the correct terminology. I live in the south but have worked with many people from Pennsylvania. One gentleman specifically could not understand why people got mad at him all the time. He really was a pretty friendly guy, but he lived here for over 5 years and did not learn anything about the culture. Please is almost always used (even in a direct order from a superior at work). In other words, polite rules. Please, thank you, sir, mam, excuse me, etc. He absolutely refused to incorporate those words into his language and could not understand why he was thought to be a rude jerk. If I travel to the northern east coast, I do not expect the same level of polite I expect to find in my area, but find the people just a friendly and helpful. But, if they come here to live, I expect them to learn the proper language to deal with the culture they have moved into.
Northerner here.
Southerners are definitely friendlier and much stricter about manners, but they are not nicer.
I know; things have loosened up a bit, though; it is now socially acceptable to nod at other people on the elevator.