I think the difference comes, stoid, when sex isn’t part of it. If a kept woman or a prostitute or a gal in an alley receives money or goods and says she doesn’t feel like performing, the money or goods is taken away, or she’s beaten, or she’s abandoned.
In my marriage, if a month or a week or a day goes by when I don’t particularly feel like having sex, my husband doesn’t shut off the electricity.
Okay, now that Stoid’s clarified herself you can firmly place me in the disagree camp.
Try it this way Stoid, what is the motivating factor for most women to have sex with their husband? The majority will answer love, pleasure, so they can have children, or something along those lines. IOW, the prime motivation for most married couples to have sex is something other than finding a method of payment for financial support.
That’s why your argument doesn’t work. Marriages have sex, and some will have one member of the couple providing financial support for both, but that doesn’t mean those two factors have the direct relationship necessary to accuse the non-financial support providing member of prostitution: in order for someone to be guilty of an action such as prostitution, they must have the motivation that is defined in said action. It would be like claiming that someone is a big music fan because they just spent $20,000 on a new radio and not mentioning that the radio is in a car.
Also, sorry about the gender mix-up, I’ve been on the boards long enough to know if you’re a man or woman. My bad.
My wife drives my kids all over the place, is she a chauffer?
She manages our finances as well. Is she an accountant?
She also makes dinner in the evening, is she a cook?
She helps my kids with their homework. Is she a teacher?
Is she a gardener?
A child psychologist?
A maid?
A general contractor?
A nurse?
A seamstress?
A project manager?
I guess one could argue that the answer to all these is, “Yes”. Just as one could make the “prostitute” argument stick. But most wives are all these things and more…much more.
Prostitute? You may as well call Everest a lump of dirt.
Yeah, but Stoid, those Bad Old Days were a long time ago. In particular, the days when a woman wasn’t supposed to like sex as much as a guy did were a long time ago. So in a marriage, regardless of who’s working, sex is rarely something that one partner is buying and the other selling.
I would venture to say that the transaction aspect for most SAHMs is that he brings home the bucks, and she takes care of the kids and the house. And every now and then, they fuck each other’s brains out because they get the hots for each other.
BTW, is the occasional SAHD also a prostitute? What a deal, then! 
Yeah? Where would that have put me last year when I was out of work? 5.5 months of nothing but taking care of the kid and the house and running errands.
Jumping in a little to stoid’s defense, I can see where she’s coming from. Considering a lot of marriages (not all, but a good portion) end because of money problems (or relating to arguments about money) it is an important factor. Lots of people want to believe in 'love" and think that’s all to is. Bull.
You married your partner because (hopefully) they were sane, attractive and had several qualities that you felt are required to support your family. I love my SO but to be blunt, if all she was good for was having kids and cleaning the house, sorry I don’t need her for that. Her income and her potental for income and support is required. Her “take” from me is that she gets my support and care (neither one of us could really support each other alone) and of course, you need two to have kids.
I agree with stoid that many wife/husband relationships are based on a type of “this for that” kind of deal. It might not be sex though. If your SO was a lazy slob that did nothing but eat, take up space, gave you nothing for all your love and affection (sounds like some kids I know) would you really still be with them? I hope not.
I think a defining question would be “Does the woman believe the man would continue to support her if she stopped having sex with him?” If the marriage would survive with sex being removed from the equation, then it doesn’t have any relation to prostitution. If the woman feels that her denying her husband sex might lead to him withdrawing support from her, then there is an element of prostitution there.
Of the three strippers who I asked back in the day if they “escort,” two said no and one quoted an outrageously high price. There are many escorts who also perform as dancers/strippers or who work in the adult film industry (and charge accordingly based on their level of stardom). So I can see where the impression could arise that many or most strippers will have sex for money but based on my limited sample size that seems false.
I’m talking about male dancers.
Depends on your definition of “good enough.”
4-ish years ago, when I was single and had STOOPID amounts of internet money (oh, those were the days) and no mortgage or expenses to speak of, I was very into the strip club scene and pretty much got any one I wanted… I can recall only one or two (of many dozens) who said “no” no matter what.
Of course, there were times where I spent $5,000 for a, uh… “meeting”, but like I said – it all hinges on “good enough”
Of course I’m a tremendous cynic and believe to this day that everyone (stripper, male, female, no matter) has a price… it’s just negotiating.
Most anyone would be a hooker if the money were good enough. Demi Moore’s character in Indecent Proposal was just a hooker with a high rate.
Most of the strippers I knew were students or single-moms. There were a few druggies and I only suspected one instance of a girl having sex for money and it was at a bachelor party. I saw one dancer get fired in the middle of a lap dance for having her hand a little busy and many, many men sumarily ejected for propositioning girls. Club owners don’t want to lose their liquor licenses so generally frown upon anything that causes unwanted attention from police. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen, somewhere, but I never saw it.
To quote Chris Rock: There is no sex in the Champagne Room!
Actually, I gotta echo Sue (and Chris Rock) here: the one time I absolutely never got anything is when I paid to go into the Champagne room. My guess is at that point they figure you’ll drop money the easy way, why do it the hard way…
Also, I’m talking about pre/early-Giuliani New York City. I understand things have changed tremendously (though haven’t been investigating of late to report first-hand)
This also is open to some interpretation. If I stopped having sex with my husband, whether he would divorce me over it would depend on the reason. If, for instance, it was health-related, I’m sure he would not. However, if it was because I no longer felt any desire for him, this would speak of deeper problems in the relationship, that, left unadressed, could destroy the marriage. So you see, it’s not withdrawal of sex so much as the reason for the withdrawal. Same would be true if he suddenly didn’t want to have sex with me anymore. Perhaps it’s a fine line, but an important distinction nonetheless.
Stoid, you may not object to being called a whore, but I certainly do.
I stay at home with my kids. But I do NOT have sex with my husband in exchange for anything. I do not have sex with my husband because he makes the money. I do not have sex with my husband because he buys me dinner. I do not have sex with my husband because he brings me flowers. I don’t have sex with him because HE feels like it. I have never had sex with my husband for any reason or under any circumstance other than we both wanted to have sex. If he lost his job and I went to work, I would still have just as much sex with him. Maybe more, since I wouldn’t be so tired from chasing the kids.
You could possibly say that my husband gets free babysitting out of our marriage, but that’s about as far as you can stretch it.
If you want to continue to say that I, and other women in my situation, am a whore, I suggest you take it to the Pit so I can tell you how I really feel about that.
BTW, if I stopped having sex with my husband, he would not expect me to start making the money. He wouldn’t divorce me, either. We didn’t have sex for months around the time that our last baby was born, from the 7th month of pregnancy until he was nearly 3 or 4 months old. I flat out told my husband that I wasn’t sure I was ever going to regain my sex drive at all, and it came back at less than half of what it was. All that means is that we don’t have sex as much. Period.
Down at Baltimore’s notorious Block, where about 15 to 20 strip clubs are clustered in close proximity, there is quite a bit of hooking going on.
The current rate at the Pussycat Club: $300 for about an hour. $250 goes to the bar, $50 to the girl. What you get for that money is up to the girl, though. I would imagine oral sex at the least, intercourse if you slip her another $50.
This transaction is conducted under the guise of buying the girl “A Big One”, which is a $300 drink…and of course, you get to go upstairs with her so she can drink it in private.
It’s pretty blatant, and there’s a major police station right across the street. Many police palms being greased with cash in the back alleys, no doubt.
Other than that, I haven’t been propositioned at any strip club. I would imagine there’s a small percentrage of dancers at every club that hook, but you’d have to favor economically disadvantaged areas to really find some hos.
I dated three dancers and actually lived with one for seven months or so… this was in Atlanta, which has a reputation of having some of the better strip clubs. None of those three (and I do believe what they told me) ever prostituted themselves, although they knew girls that did (and these girls were in the minority and kind of ostracized from the rest of the girls).
This was in the '80’s, though, and times weren’t as tough as they are now… in the '90’s the premiere club in Atlanta - the Gold Club - was shut down and the owner successfully prosecuted by the FBI and it turned out that some girls were turning tricks in the private rooms on management orders.
So I would say… “some do, but most don’t”.
-bbb-
Exactly my experience, boo_boo. I was sleeping with a stripper from time to time, and I never ever saw her at work!
I was a stripper for a very brief stint. I did it for fun and for the money. Yes, I knew a few girls who would do other things if the money was right, but the place I worked for was very upscale and we raked it in w/o needing to even do particulary dirty lap dances… Personally, I never even thought about it, but did get offers.