I don’t agree that dressing down in public is “giving up” , that makes no sense to me. It just means you are not worried about what others think.
Around here you’d lose your chance at an apartment if you wore sweatpants. A nice apartment, anyway, not an expensive one, but a mid-range one. Downtown Albany, sure. Uptown or any of the suburbs? Forget it. The house we rent right now, there were about 100 applicants. We happened to get there first. Our landlord is a VERY snappy dresser and I have no doubt we’d have lost points if we didn’t dress nicely.
As for the baseball cap, I will say, sure, there are uses for it. (Although there are so many other kinds of hats that look better!) I still don’t like it and while it would not be a dealbreaker, someone who wore a baseball cap every single day would just not be very attractive to me. Your body, your comfort, sure. We were talking about the OP’s husband and yes it would drive me crazy if my SO started wearing a baseball cap every day.
Of course in him it would be a huge personality change so I’d wonder what was going on.
My husband wears baseball caps frequently (and yes, usually when he didn’t shower and wash his hair - he has no baldness either). In his defense, however, he does actually coach baseball and has for decades. One of the biggest peeves in his life is how people wear baseball caps now (backwards for no shade, or sideways, or perched like a beanie, or with a dead flat bill, or like an old farmer, etc.). His wearing a ball cap doesn’t bother me in the slightest; I don’t think he’s ever worn one inappropriately (like to a funeral or a nice dinner or something).
My wife wants me to buy a non-baseball-cap hat. Like a pork pie, or bowler. Every time I see myself in a non-cap hat I wonder what’s she’s smoking. They all make me look like I’m about six, only with a beard.
It’s no more giving up than is refusing to comb your hair or wipe the crumbs away from the corner of your mouth.
It’s very common for people to be nervous/worried about what others think of them. If you are one of those people part of that is making sure you look good in public. If you are not in that group then you probably don’t spend much time on what your clothes look like.
BTW, I have seen guys in a jacket and tie that looked really bad since the clothes did not fit or were strange colors. Sweatpants might have looked better on them.
my bf wears a Tilley Hat as well as a Aussie Walker hat. He’s a got a beard too. And I can hardly keep my hands off of him when he wears them.
Hawtness.
I’m saving them for later. Stop judging me! :mad:
Sloppy as hell.
And this is said as someone who has (gasp) been known to wear them while grocery shopping but nothing more “public-seeking” than that. Oh, and when I’m seeing the doctor some times… it’s nice to have the “sweatpants” warmth but be able to pull the leg up out of the way so doc can check out my bum knee, and then when I had my gallbladder yanked I had to wear them exclusively for a week or so.
When seeing a new apartment? oh hell no!
Not being worried what others think of you is Stage One of giving up
You know, it kind of is. It’s essentially saying “I have no interest in participating in this ‘society’ thing.” And once you do that, it’s only like seven steps to unabomber.
There’s not caring about what people think, and there’s not caring about what people think. Basically, this:
I would venture that “house in the suburbs” to “cabin in the woods” is probably seven steps all by itself.
Regardless of whether sweatpants are considered “sloppy,” I wonder about a relationship in which one spouse forces the other to go home and change. It’s extremely emasculating, especially for someone who is currently unemployed. I have experienced moods in which I’ve felt completely unable to wear anything but sweatpants. If I had been married at the time and my spouse forced me to change in order to conduct an errand of some kind, it would have been enraging. I know of other people who have similarly gone through “sweatpant” phases and there always seemed to be some kind of depressive state involved. For someone experiencing that kind of thing, being bossed around like a child does not help things.
If you can summon up rage over being asked to dress appropriately, you can summon up the energy to dress appropriately.
Of course then you have people who really,really worry about what other people think so they buy high end designer clothes/bags/shoes, face lifts, boob jobs, tons of makeup, fake tans, and so on.
Well those people are idiots, too.
But I would guess that people who spend tons on clothes, face lifts, etc. are not looked down on by society at large are they? For example Hollywood people spend that kind of money and they are popular for the most part.
Yep, I feel for the guy. Not only is his own wife acting like his stepmother, but so are strangers on the internet. I suggested that they guy might be feeling depression. Being kicked like a misbehaving dog isn’t helpful to someone in that situation.
Neither is being indulged.