Oni no Husband and I have a difference of opinion.
He is not working right now, and often wears sweatpants and a T-shirt around the house. I don’t have a problem with that; after all, it’s just him while I’m at work during the day, no reason he shouldn’t be maximally comfortable.
However, if we are going somewhere that involves actually being seen by people, I tell him that I want him to change into actual pants (dockers, generally - he doesn’t own jeans). He feels that I’m being persnicketty and unreasonably predjudiced against sweatpants. I feel that they look sloppy and slovenly, and that sweats should not be worn unless 1) in one’s own home, 2) working out, or possibly 3) when running errands when you don’t expect to be out of the house long and don’t expect to interact with anyone that it matters what they think of you.
This recently came to a head when he picked me up after work to go look at apartments for rent, and was wearing sweats, t-shirt, flip-flops, and a baseball cap. (I should perhaps also mention that he’s overweight - about 5’6", 235.) We had a little bit of time before the appointment, and rather than going to get food which had been our initial plan, I made him go home and change.
He was pissed off about it, feeling that there was nothing wrong with his outfit. I felt that, since we were going to be asking people to trust us by choosing to rent their property to us, it would make a better impression if we look like people who take care of ourselves and would therefore take care of their property. No, he didn’t have to wear a suit, but putting a little bit of effort into his appearance would help counteract the fat people = slobs predjudice that a lot of people have.
What do you think? Are my predjudices against sweatpants unreasonable?
I’m a guy, and I completely agree with you. Not only do I have a problem with sweatpants, I have a problem with flip-flops around town.
I only wear sweatpants around the house or when working out. I don’t wear flip-flops unless I’m at a pool or in the locker room at my gym. (I do wear Tevas around town.)
For casual wear around town I wear jeans or khaki shorts.
How about “In the emergency room” or “buying cold medicine at at 3am” or “just running through the drive-thru at McD’s because I am too sick to feed myself”?
Overall, I agree with everyone though. For normal everyday interactions, put some real clothes on.
I agree with the others. Yes, I’ll occasionally make a quick run down to the mini-mart on a Saturday morning while wearing sweat pants, but i do consider them inappropriate for ‘being out in public’. Not that I care what people think, but I prefer to at least wear jeans or even fatigue pants.
The larger issue as I see it is that Oni no Husband knows it bothers you when he wears sweats in public, and he insists on wearing them anyway. Seems disrespectful, IYAM.
I hate sweatpants, and the idea of going APARTMENT HUNTING in sweats makes me shiver. I don’t care how fine you think it was, if I was a landlord and you showed up in sweats, I wouldn’t rent to you.
You know what else bothers me, besides the lack of respect? Ok, so he is home, not working. He wears sweats, fine. But, if I am home for a few days even eventually I want to clean up and look respectable when I go out - it’s just more motivating. And a nice change. He is content to just be slovenly all the time?
Just need a bit of clarification from the OP. You say hubby is 5’6" and 235. Is the excess weight in the form of a beer gut? If so, when he wears the sweat pants, does he place the waist line of the pants at his waist or below the gut? The answer could change my opinion to your OP question.
Well not really, but I’m curious about it anyway/
I’m gonna dissent even further: I can’t stand them even in the house. My roomie is sitting opposite me wearing them right now and it grosses me out. That and a gross fleece are all she ever wears when at home, citing comfort. I don’t get it - how uncomfortable are jeans or slacks really, if you’re a normal shape?
Generally if the sweat pants are not all gnarly with stains, rips or stretched out in the knees and seat, I see no issue with wearing them in a casual public setting. Moving into an apartment yes sweats, scheduling an appointment with the leasing office, no sweats.
Agreed.
As for flip-flops, I was just this morning thinking about this recent college graduate I met a few years ago that wore flip-flops with his suit during the day when he was not in the office- before and after work, to lunch, doctors visits, etc. He said that after wearing flip-flops all the time in college, he didn’t feel he should have to wear proper shoes with his suit if he didn’t want to. I wonder if he ever grew the fuck up. He looked ridiculous.
Seriously, if he’s unemployed, even more reason why he should not be looking sloppy in public. You never know who you are going to run in to and what kind of networking connection you might be able to make.
You don’t want someone to think, “I suppose he cleans up okay.” Cause they won’t. They’ll think, “My Oni No Husband has really let himself go!” and assume that’s not just in dress.
Extreme? Absolutely. True? Moreso than any of us might want to think. And unfortunately, as a fat chick, I have to say that this counts double when we’re fat.
Do what I did - throw all the stuff away when he’s not looking. (Wait - that was a dream.)
Sweatpants are for being at home, being sick or working out. Otherwise it falls into the “being a slob” and given up on life look.
When my brother was in grade school in the early 80’s there was an almost daily battle…he wanted to wear sweats (often with licensed characters on them) to school and my dad wanted pants…cordouroys, jeans, chinos, anything but sweatpants. A few years ago I said “Remember how dad hassled you about wearing sweats to school?”
His reply was “He was right, and Im grateful.” My brother doesn’t say that about Dad too often.
To me the day I go out in sweats is the day I declare “I give up I am moving to a trailerpark, and going to live in a bowl of fritos and dip forever. I am unf**kable, and I don’t care.” Since I don’t believe this about myself I don’t wear sweatpants out.
Flip-flops are also not really “dress to impress” clothing. (My partner is freaked. right. out. by sandals in general and flip-flops in particular. He won’t hire flip-flop wearing people, or any man in sandals of any description. He tolerates well-constructed sandals on me, but I am not allowed to complain if I get any barefoot related injury.)
So I agree 100% with you, especially if the tshirt had writing on it other than a tiny logo. Looking for an apartment these days may be tough enough without having one of you project an “Im not making the slightest effort” vibe. Snobby? Maybe. But why project something negative to a prospective landlord?
