Yes.
I don’t think the OP has made a definitive statement on this, but I think she’s a woman.
I am reminded of 9th grade health class, in which I learned about the human sexual response cycle. There was the male sexual response cycle, and there was the female sexual response cycle. What was critical was that it did not mention that orgasm did not have to occur during sex at all, so for a long time, I thought that orgasm would occur spontaneously during sexual intercourse at every sexual intercourse.
What if both persons involved are not experienced in sex?
Yes. It is quite common for female orgasm to not happen just from intercourse. Very often, it requires some other kind of stimulation, either before, during, or after intercourse.
Popular culture values the idea of simultaneous orgasm, but this is not as common.
It is possible and not uncommon for a woman to achieve orgasm multiple times—before, during, and after intercourse—or not at all.
All these things make it very important for a woman—in particular—to learn to understand her body’s sexual responses and how to trigger them. In my opinion, it is thus very important for a woman to practice stimulating herself, so that when she is with a partner, she has some idea of what gives her pleasure.
It is also possible for the man to fail to achieve orgasm. But this is less common. There are some fringe (“Tantric”) practices in which a man practices intentionally resisting orgasm.
It is also possible—but less common—for a man to achieve orgasm more than once. In such cases, only one of those instances is usually accompanied by ejaculation.
Then they should be prepared to handle each other’s inexperience with patience (and humor, perhaps).
Sex is natural and pleasurable. Two inexperienced people might have a rocky start, but if they are open with each other, willing to communicate their feelings, worries, and needs, respectful of each other and interested in giving and receiving pleasure, and willing to experiment, then things happen quite naturally and quickly.
Be open to your body, be open to pleasure, and find a partner who is also open. Sex advice columnist Dan Savage uses the mantra “Good, giving, and game” —
We all started somewhere, after all. Everyone who enjoys sex today was once inexperienced, and more likely than not, their first sex partner was also inexperienced. Awkward teenagers are able to get into it with no problem.
Look, I don’t think anyone in this thread is a sex therapist or instructor. Aren’t you interested in consulting more authoritative and knowledgeable resources?
It will still work, but it is more awkward and if the result is not to the satisfaction you just have to repeat and practice.
It’s VERY instinctive and intuitive, thousands of people do it every day for the first time.
I made a thread asking this once, well I said if a group of humans are raised from infancy by androids in a isolated location and are not able to see any depictions of sex, will penis in vagina sex be instinctive?
No, it’s not that important. I just want to know how human reproduction works, because not knowing how it works is like having a big, black box. There is a couple, and in the end, there is a baby. Not much is said about what goes inside the big, black box, because sex is usually something private, and people expect others to “know” it intuitively. As the other member here says, the maneuvers of sex is not really intuitive, because if it had been intuitive, then that guy would have known about thrusting rather than being connected to a professional for an issue that is supposed to be “obvious”. Fortunately, being a millennial, I have access to the Internet and Youtube, while that other guy only had still images of pornography, so at least I know about the motions of sex. It never occurred to me that that would be instinctive, though. I once heard that dogs sometimes need some guidance in reproduction, so apparently, the maneuvers of sex are not obvious as many people think it is. For people who think that sex is “obvious”, they probably implicitly learned it by trial and error, thought the behavior was pleasurable, and connected sex to making babies later. That may explain why pubescent children who are not instructed in sex are separated: to prevent sexual arousal and sexual encounters with each other, which may produce babies. However, separation of the sexes during sexual maturation may not prevent children from sexual activities with a same-sex partner. As for now, I already have all the information I need about sex. Thanks again for clearing things up in a dispassionate, clear, direct, and frank manner.
Glad I could help.
I’m not sure about you, but I learned very easy, quickly and with a great success rate how to rub one out, without anyone having to explain it to me… not once. :eek:
…and I still have 20/20 vision… sometime I have a “selective” hearing problem if you ask my wife, but other wise my hearing is fine as well… despite my enormous efforts, esp. in my earlier years, in this area of research.
I don’t know about this. If you happen to find a spouse who is not extremely concerned about having a “sex life” and that suits you just fine, then both partners may choose to not engage in sex at all. There may only be conflict and dissatisfaction when one partner wants an active sex life and the other partner just wants a stable marriage and family life. I suppose one can ask one’s future spouse a personal question like so: “How high is your sex drive?”
You sure can ask that, but first you need to know what your own drive is, otherwise the answer is irrelevant.
Estimated theoretical knowledge of this topic might make for a very unhappy relationship.
That’s a broader issue than I thought you were asking about. My point was that being sexually inexperienced is not a significant obstacle to enjoying sex and that two inexperienced people can quickly become experienced if that’s what they want.
If the issue is interest in sex, then, yes, of course, any relationship is enhanced when the two people have similar levels of interest in sex.
It’s going to be more difficult to find someone “who is not extremely concerned about acing a ‘sex life’,” but, yes, there are such people in the world.
Other accommodations can also be made. If one partner is not particularly interested in sex, then he or she may agree that the other partner may sex sexual partners outside the relationship.
But these are more “relationship” issues as opposed to “how does sex work” issues.
And if you’re going down that path, then I think it’s worth exploring some other question in detail, such as to what extent these statements might apply to you—
“I have given sex a good try and I just don’t like it. I prefer my partner not need sex or find sexual satisfaction in other ways,”
“I’m not particularly interested in sex but I’m happy to do it because it makes my partner happy.”
“I’m sexually inexperienced and scared about the prospect of being expected to engage in sex with a partner so I prefer a partner who will not ask me to do it.”
It seems likely to me that widely diversive ideas about sex and the deisred frequency of sex will arise as an issue long before marriage comes up in conversation. Likely it will be brought up first by the person who wants more sex.
There’s no factual answer to that without doing unethical experiments, but I think the answer is without a doubt that they will figure it out, at least the majority of them, unless there’s some kind of social prohibition against experimenting.
I’d look at it in this context: how many people have never tried oral sex? Manual stimulation (handjobs/fingering)? Anal sex? Frottage? Heck… along this line of thought, where does French kissing come from? How many non-virgins have never sucked on the fingers or toes of a sexual partner?
Seriously, if there’s something you can rub against or insert into, people will try it. (Again, at least some of them. A few outliers might be too embarrassed or not sufficiently motivated to try it all.)
You’re assuming a Western-style courtship, though. There are still countries that practice arranged marriages and it sounds like the OP is in one of them.
The OP is a US citizen, living here.
Oh, OK… I’m confused. What happened to the undisclosed second world country?