Do humans instinctively know how to have sex?

OK, make fun of me if you want. I’ll admit it – my first time, neither of us knew what we were doing. Arousal was instinctive and obvious, and I sortof kindof knew from having seen an X rated movie that we were supposed to face each other, but there was a lot of experimentation over many sessions to figure out the right angles. I’d seen one or two X rated movies so I knew the vagina was involved in sex. But if no one had told me, then honestly, I wouldn’t have known where the penis goes. Go ahead and laugh at me. I’ll wait.

But I can’t believe I’m the only one who didn’t know how it worked. If someone grew up in a sexually repressed society where there was no sex education or pornos and where no adult ever explained to youth, then I’m not sure they would have EVER figured it out, either.

  1. I’m not the only one, am I? Lots of humans don’t instinctively know how sex works, do they?
  2. Are humans unique in this? Animals seem to figure it out without watching pornos or having it explained. Is that just from seeing other animals do it? If two animals are raised away from all adult animals, will they always instinctively know how it’s done?
  3. If it’s true that humans have lost the automatic instinct for knowing how sex works and need to be taught how, then how in the world did the species reproduce during all the puritanical times when discussing sex was taboo?

Who says we are doing it correctly now? Maybe we are supposed to stick it in an ear.

Doesn’t this question pretty much answer itself?

For purposes of this discussion, “doing it correctly” is defined as “able to produce offspring”.

Not really. The answer could be that it’s instinctive, or it could be that people DID talk about it, but in private. A girl’s mother sitting her down before her wedding night, and such. Plus people probably grew up watching animals do it, so there’s that.

It’s a good question, and one I’m curious about as well. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have figured it out–vaginal stimulation’s OK but not really “my thing.” I’m definitely way more about the clitoris, so I think my idea of sex would have just been scissoring or something.

It certainly makes sense that it would be instinctual, but does it FEEL instinctual to you? I felt I wanted women and I wanted orgasms, but not necessaly that I needed to get THAT in THERE. Had I grown up on Blue Lagoon there probably would have been a lot of playing around and we probably would have done it right by accident. We would have repeated that, not because we knew it was right but because it worked well and felt good.

Not every individual has to have sex for the overall process to work well enough to perpetuate the human race.

Or it could be that the Puritans disappeared because they didn’t make little Puritans. :wink:

Given that they were all farmers, they probably all had a good understanding of how little goats are made.

That’s exactly my point – watching animals wouldn’t work. If two humans try to mate based on watching how goats do it, then you’ll never ever get a baby human. The goat sex position is definitely NOT what is most optimal for people. :slight_smile:

I don’t have a cite, but for what it’s worth I’ve heard the first question every fertility doctor asks whenever a couple comes in is “Do you know what you’re doing?” and that a good percentage of the time, their “problems” can be fixed by saying “That goes there.”

“No, kissing/holding hands/sleeping in the same bed will not get you pregnant.”

“No, that doesn’t go there. Close, but it’s the other one.”


But “penis in vagina” is pretty much the same cross species. And people can have sex from behind. Sometimes it slips out but I’m sure people could figure it out, or figure out that it might be a bit easier in a different position just experimenting. Once you have the basics, the rest isn’t that hard.

Umm… what? :confused:

I always thought that the “from behind” position was the natural way to do it and that the “missionary” position was invented by Christian missionaries as an alternative to doing it like the animals do it.

I’ve heard that, too. I’ve also heard people say that’s a UL, so I’m not sure what to think. I definitely personally find it easier to have sex with me on the bottom and dude on top, or me on top and dude on bottom–sex from behind sometimes results in falling out-age and whatnot.

In any case, if you see a male animal of any species with its penis erect mounting a female with the penis going inside her and thrusting, it probably won’t take too much thinking to realize how to compare that to people. Yes, I suppose you could accidentally stick it in the butt, but most females get aroused, too, so she’ll probably have an inkling that it goes in the vulva region. And I’m sure from there, the pair can figure it out.

Well, learning by watching animals is still basically being told how to do it. It sounds like most people here are in agreement that if no one told you how sex worked and if you never saw an animal do it, then you probably wouldn’t have been able to figure out how to have sex yourself?

If so, then isn’t that incredibly shocking? When in the course of human evolution did people lose the instinct of how to have sex? Was that somehow connected to the rise of human intelligence?

The woman knows that it feels good to rub there, and the man knows that it feels good to rub that, and they both know that they enjoy each others’ company, so it’s a short step from there to rub each others’ feels-good-to-rub parts against each other. And once you’re doing that, it’s a short step to accidentally slip in.

Plus, I can say that even before I knew anything about sex, I had an instinctual concept that convex things are supposed to go into concave things of the same approximate size. When confronted with special body parts that meet that description, I probably would have had the idea to try it anyway.

This and reproduction doesn’t care if sex is done well or satisfactorily; all it cares about is sperm meeting ovum.

That said, I’ve heard that sex does get better with practice. :wink:

Wait… I’m having trouble picturing this… are we still talking about vaginal sex? How can you have that from behind?

(I’ve actually been wondering about this question myself- thanks, doubled).

You’ve never seen a porno? It’s not hard (heh) at all. It is also possible to have anal sex face-to-face.

The vagina and anus are located very close to one another. If a woman bends over far enough, the vaginal opening is easily accessible.

ETA: To be technically correct, the opening to the vagina and the anus are very close to one another.

:confused: The same way four-legged animals do it? What is the technical difficulty you are foreseeing?