Are there public places where a woman should not breastfeed her child?

In My Humble Opinion
81

Well **amaranth ** quoted “That’s what breasts are for.” and then posted

Hard to avoid the impression that **amaranth ** was comparing breastfeeding in public to defecating in public, but YMMV.

As to your whole cloth argument, I did point out that one was legal and one was not. Our society has decided. It was a weak argument and poorly quote. You made the point you think **amaranth ** was trying to make much better.

Being natural does not mean it is appropriate anywhere. That was not the most obvious part of amaranth’s post it that was what **amaranth ** meant to convey.

Jim (Is **amaranth ** male or female, I did not know which pronoun to use.)

82

Of course, on the other hand, I know a (very white) lady who adopted a baby from China. She was sitting on a bench at the mall giving the baby a bottle when a lady came up and told her that she was doing her baby irreparable damage by not breastfeeding. Excuse me? I mean, can you imagine anything that’s less your business?

83

What could be worse, I wonder if she ever pulled this dumb stunt on someone like my wife that used to use a breast pump to have breast milk for feeding in public or feedings by me. She never used an ounce of formula for two kids. She almost never breast fed in public by choice.

84

I had that happen more than once with my Korean son. Its one of the reasons that - while I’m not anti-breastfeeding (I breastfed my daughter who arrived after my son), I think anyone saying anything at all about the health benefits of it to me that isn’t my nurse practitioner, pediatrician or my doctor can fuck off. My son is nine and I’ve mellowed, I used to think they could fuck off and die.

85

How about, it’s natural, plus it’s not physically hurting anyone, it’s not assaulting the olfactory organs, and in most cases, it’s actually preventing an onslaught of noise (i.e., crying)?

86

I’m with you, I will admit to getting slightly embarrassed by breast feeding moms, but far better than the screaming baby.

87

What I wonder is what meddling people like this think the possible outcome could be. Do they honestly think the mother is going to say, “Ohmygosh! I had NO IDEA! Thank you for that helpful information of which I was previously completely unaware! Let me try breastfeeding RIGHT NOW!” and whip out the proverbial breast?

88

I think they just like being superior. They don’t expect a change in behavior, they get their satisfaction from scolding.

89

Preach it! (heh) My parents took turns staying home with us while one went to one Mass and then the other to a different Mass. I understand wanting to all go as a family, but not if the kids can’t handle it.

90

I agree that lecturing a bottle feeding mom is rude and uncalled for. It’s not necessarily even by choice. I have a niece who had to stop breast-feeding her baby for medical reasons. She didn’t want to stop, she had no choice. Singing the benefits of breast-feeding is all well and good, but no one should presume to know the circumstances of those who don’t do it.

91

But I only like seeing titties when they’re on hot teens showing them in exchange for beads! Whaaa!

92

I think:

(1)It’s true that “it’s natural” isn’t much of an argument for defecating in a public theater, but it’s also demonstrable that mere print reviews didn’t discourage Andrew Lloyd Webber at all. So no harsh words from me to amarinth just now: s/he may simply be ahead of the contemporary criticism curve.

(2)A lot of people are oversensitive about breastfeeding in public, and they come from both sides of the argument.

(3)I’ve also noticed that just because an activity isn’t inherently offensive doesn’t mean there aren’t both polite and obnoxious ways of doing it. It would be a mistake to think that the right to do something comes without any little caveats about the manners one should display when doing it. Sometimes, (not talking strictly about breastfeeding here) I sense that it isn’t a mistake: it’s a deliberate attempt to invite the argument so as to squash the other party under the weight of one’s rights when they only wanted to ask for a little more courtesy toward others.

(4)The more one is exposed to things that aren’t inherently offensive, the less outraged one will be by them. It’s a good bet then, that the louder one complains, the less they really have to complain about.

(5)If this is addressed at all, much better to simply stop giving babies free admission to some venues, and move the argument away from who’s an authoritarian prude with mommy issues and more toward who’s a fascist baby-hater and reproductive failure.

(6)Whether you’ve been invited or bought a ticket, the standard of behavior in any venue, except in extreme circumstances, is really up to the host, not you. After bringing his/her attention to any lapses you notice on the part of your fellow guests (if you really feel that’s necessary), your role, as a fellow guest, is to drop it.

93

No, I haven’t (apparently that shows). Surprise: not everyone is a parent, babysitter, or even likes babies. I’ve actually never been alone with any child under toddler age, partly because babies scare the crap out of me and I’d have no idea how to take care of it. I have no idea how frequently babies need to feed, so I apologize for that and retract my ‘it can wait’ comment. It doesn’t totally answer why, in that instance, you can’t just use a bottle, but I’ll admit I know nothing about raising babies. While I don’t like it, I certainly would never say anything to the woman in question or make any sort of scene over it. And given the choice between be slightly uncomfortable because of the breastfeeding next to me on a plane, or have a screaming baby next to me, I would definitely rather the breastfeeding.

WRT my finding it gross…sorry, but I do. And yes, I do find other animals suckling kind of gross, even adorable little puppies*. I personally just find it kind of weird and a bit gross. Not ‘oh god don’t do it within my sight or I’ll puke on you’, as was implied but just…ugh. Again, I would never dream of making a scene because of someone doing it, but I’d be uncomfortable. Sorry. That’s just the way I am. I certainly respect a mother’s choice to breastfeed wherever necessary, I just don’t really like it.

*Which are the only animal I’ve seen doing it.

94

…in the middle of a race
…at the zoo
…golf game
…oh yea, while I’m eating lunch across from you

I nursed our daughter for about 9 months (mainly cause I was staying at home and it was cheaper.) I had a hand pump so I could pump milk for my husband to use, or when we were out. Our baby wouldn’t take the bottle all the time, and for some strange reason she’d only take the bottle from me - which really isn’t supposed to happen anyways (if mom gives the bottle, they want the nip instead) For us every 2 hours meant from when they started, so if they took 30-40 mins to eat, it wasn’t 2 hours from then, it’s from when we started…30 to 40 mins ago :eek:

I had all sorts of coverups, but still didn’t feel comfortable nursing in public.

I’ve nursed in public a restroom at a baseball stadium, when our daughter wouldn’t take a bottle during a baseball game. People were more pissed about me getting up and leaving to calm her down, then when we were sitting there in the seats. Look, I can keep a crying baby here and keep trying to feed her a bottle, or you can let me leave.

I remember trying to find the most out of the way place to nurse our baby before getting on the plane in the Orlando airport. Then later nursing her during take off/landing. When I booked the tickets I made sure we were in the last row of the plane (very noisy there too), with a window and a middle seat (hubby could block or strike up on a convo while I nursed to not draw attention to me.) That worked out great when our daughter got fussy, but even tho she was a fed I got dirty looks from the people in front of us who’d decide to recline their seats on us. On that same trip I had so much frozen milk with me and the TSA people thought I was crazy, and turns out the baby would only take milk from me - no grandparents/aunts/uncles/dad, and on our nights out we’d come home to a screaming crying baby.

I remember another time at the park on a fairly windy day and 3 out of the 4 moms nursed. So we all decided to feed the babies before we went to lunch, and this old guy started to walk by us really slowly - it was really creepy so I covered and mentioned someone was watching all of us! The guy took off then, but still…it was creepy.

So now our daughter is 18 months, and we still have friends that nurse, which is kinda strange. They all go on saying how natural it is, and they love that bonding moment, blah blah. Every night I sat there and used the regular or electrical pump it felt so so weird, I felt like a cow! I guess if you’re comfortable with it not a big deal, but I would try my darnest to not make a big scene out of having to nurse my daughter in public. I was happy when I stopped, but made it 3 months longer than we had planned.

If you want to nurse that’s fine, and I may do it again if we have another, but with the advances in baby formula I had no heartburn giving our daugther a bottle, at least she took it! I tell other new moms too - do what you feel is right and don’t let anyone tell you ‘you’re a bad mom’ because you decide to give them a bottle.

95

Thanks for clarifying. I fully, 100%, totally respect this feeling. And I realize that seeing a woman breastfeeding does make some people feel uncomfortable/weird/icked out, which is why I (and most nursing moms I know) attempt to be reasonably discreet about it. Well, that plus the fact that I really don’t WANT to expose my breasts to the entire world.

To address lunar elf and a couple of other people (I think) who have posted that not all nursing mothers are comfortable nursing in public: I think that’s completely understandable, and nobody should give you crap about it. On the other hand, I get a little bit of a vibe of, “I pumped and bottle fed in public so I just don’t know why anyone needs to nurse in public,” which isn’t really appropriate either, IMO. I respect any mother’s desire to pump expressed milk and bottle feed in public, and would like others to respect my own desire not to have to hook myself up to the breast pump and haul around chilled milk and bottles every time I want to leave the house.

96

Another vote for, “baby should nurse anywhere it’s appropriate for a baby to be”. I don’t generally include theatres, but I know some kids nurse until three or older, and it would be okay for them to be at a kid-friendly musical.

I’m still uncomfortable breastfeeding in the middle of certain crowded areas (I refuse to do it in the Costco fast food area. Nope) but my son, when he was younger, wanted to nurse every twenty bloody minutes. I was not going and hiding in the washroom all the time to keep people from being uncomfortable.

And engorgement is really, really painful.
Oh, and reasons for not using a bottle- some babies won’t ever take bottles or pacifiers. In any case you’re generally supposed to wait for a month or longer before introducing a bottle because a nursing baby can have difficulty using both without getting confused.

97

In which case its as inappropriate as anyone else snacking inside a theatre - appropriate at a movie theatre, inappropriate for the majority of live performances I’ve been to.

98

Really? because my exact words were

Second, it’s amarinth - and I’m a woman.

99

Sorry about the name, I should have copy and pasted. It was not meant to insult. I am glad to be able to use a pronoun now instead. :wink:

You got grief for your post as you opened it my comparing shitting in public to breastfeeding in public. You did not quote the natural part, so your post did not do a good job of supporting the point you were trying to make. I think many people were “naturally” going to respond chiefly to your

100

Don’t breast feed in bars.

Don’t breast feed in front of surveillance cameras.