Every day I pass by a local women’s health clinic that, because of the amount of perjoratively-worded placard-bearing groups stationed at the street in front of it, I assume provides pregnancy terminations. While pondering the unfortunate need for such services it occured to me that it’s gotta suck to arrive at work every day and have to face hoards who hate what you do and feel the need to wave signs in your face and scream telling you so. Maybe you even receive death-threats and have to take extreme measures to safeguard yourself, co-workers, and patients while at work - and family members and pets when you’re at home. Drag.
It occured to me that maybe bringing a small token of appreciation to that office’s staff would be, uh, a nice (albeit insufficient) gesture. Unfortunately I’m unaware of the protocol involved here. Did Miss Manners or Emily Post ever address such a situation?
In an earlier life, a co-worker worked at such a clinic so I asked her opinion. We thought that gifts of food - whether home-baked or store-bought - could maybe arouse suspicion and well-founded fears of tampering or even poisoning. After all, I’m nobody to these folks and I’m sure all their mothers (and security guards) schooled them not to accept edibles from strangers, no matter how well-meaning they appear. Even though my florist may not think so, I think wiring them flowers is insipidly lame. My friend suggested a gift of cash - like $20 or $50 - and simply saying “Thanks,” and suggesting that maybe they could use the gift however they saw fit.
So, what can I do to say, “Thanks for being here for somebody at your own personal risk. Every day.”
You couldn’t possibly go wrong with a kind letter thanking them for their efforts. Flowers wilt, money is spent, and even safe edibles will be consumed. But I’m sure such a letter would adorn their bulletin board for quite some time.
Some of them, such as Planned Parenthood, have funds for women who can’t afford abortions. A donation towards that would be helpful and appreciated. Women shouldn’t have to have babies because they can’t afford medical care.
I agree that a donation – for women who need the services but cannot afford them – is a great idea. Also, just a card or a letter telling them exactly what you said here would probably mean more to the actual employees than anything else you could do. If it’s a place you pass frequently, perhaps you could buy one of those assorted cards sets and maybe each month drop a card (no envelope – that might arouse suspicions) that just says “thanks, you are good people for doing what you do!” I am willing to bet it will be more meaningful than you might believe.
When I had an abortion about a year and a half ago, I was so touched by the dedication and compassion of the workers at the clinic. They were just so incredibly wonderful. I remember thinking I wanted to send a card of appreciation, but I never did (just forgot, was lazy). But maybe I will go ahead and do it.
Same here. It’s a drop in the bucket compared to the hate mail, but I guarantee it will make at least one person feel better, if only for a moment.
A friend of mine who works at a PP-type clinic told me about the time she got one from a woman who’d gone in for an abortion, and it made her cry. Her clinic doesn’t get protested, but they do get letters, and she says it’s just stressful not being able to talk openly about her job at dinners and parties like most other people can, because she doesn’t want to start a fight or debate. And even though most women express relief after their abortion, she’s also had a handful who said nasty things for her. Yes, that’s insane – basically ‘I can’t believe you’d do this for a living. How do you live with yourself?’ (just another form of ‘No one’s abortion is justifiable except for mine’).
It’s an incredible load to bear, even if you are 100 percent committed to reproductive rights and truly believe you are working for the benefit of humankind.
I agree, a donation with a letter explaining what you’ve posted here would be the way to go.
I work in non-profit, and it’s always really, really nice to hear that someone appreciates what we do.
If you want to send food, you might look into getting something delivered - we’ve had people get cookies & treats sent to the office from bakerys before. Though we’re also not the type of organization that someone might try to poison, so YMMV.
I’ve thought the same thing when I’ve seen people protesting outside my local Planned Parenthood.
I’ve resolved that next time I drive past and there’s protesters outside, I’m going to stop, go up to them and count them out loud, and then proceed to go in and give a donation of <whatever I can afford> * <the number of protesters> to Planned Parenthood. I will make sure the protesters know that’s what I’m doing, too.
Of course, ever since I’ve resolved to do that, they’ve quit picketing. But you can use my idea!
I work in a facility that provides the services you describe, as well as a host of other reproductive health services.
A letter of appreciation is a wonderful gesture, whether or not it includes a donation. We often share these letters at staff meetings and post them on bulletin boards. The staff truly appreciate it-- it’s really what keeps them going on the rough days.
The “pledge a picketer” idea is also a great one… we sometimes run a fundraising campaign with this as the basis… and then we post a sign that says “Thank you protestors! You’ve helped us raise X amount of dollars today!”
A gift of food would be a big-no-no. As you suspected, the level of necessary paranoia runs pretty high among the staff that work there. Unfortunately, all of our mail is opened in a closed room, while wearing rubber gloves and a mask.
Even better than a letter or a donation… could you possibly donate a little of you time? We always need volunteers to do everything from clinic defense and escorting of clients, to stuffing envelopes or becoming a board member.
It’s awesome to know that supporters are out there too… when you walk in to the office on some days and are called a murderer.
I, too, thank you for what you do. Much as I would love to drop off some homemade muffins or cookies, I can see where that might be problematic. So I shall write letters, and donate what little I can. I could only donate time from home, because I’m home with my 3 little kids, but I’ll see what I can do to help. Thank you for the ideas.
I used to do **JaneSaintClair’s **job, and second everything she (I assume) posted. It’s tough to continuously go to work day after day at a job that at BEST, most people (including the ones utilizing the services) consider a necessary evil.
When my local PP opened last year I did my part by being their 3rd patient and writing a letter to the editor. I also gave them $25 and most Thursdays (when the most protesters show up) I stand across the street with a big, yellow “Honk if you love Planned Parenthood!” sign for an hour. Then I go inside and let them know how many of the honks were for me (most of them)
They have shown great appreciation for all those things.
Unfortunately, I can’t afford to donate to Planned Parenthood, but I make a point of going to PP whenever I need work done on my hoo-ha so they at least get money from my health insurance. Sending them a card is a good idea, I’ll have to do that.
You guys are the ones doing the hard work here, really, and you are appreciated. The services you provide - and I mean all of the education and prenatal exams and “here have some condoms” and such, not just abortion-related services - are a tremendous benefit to society.