This thread isn’t really for the under-30 crowd, as will become apparent presently.
Last week I got to see some personal information about a doctor I work for. This guy is not only a full surgeon, but the chief in his department. He’s a somewhat older gentleman who has made his mark in the world. He has real responsibility. He has a wife, and children, and a dog, and a two car garage, and stocks, and all that stuff. He’s a grown-up. Imagine my dismay to find out that he’s actually younger than me. I’m 43, he’s 41.
I don’t have a wife or kids or a car. Not that I want them, but these seem to be the benchmarks of being an adult. Instead I live in a studio apartment, eat in front of the TV, and have a job to tide me over until I figure out what I want to be when I grow up. I still feel like a 20-year-old just starting out in life. (Except for my knees, of course.)
I am 30. I was married 8 years. I have 2 kids. Now divorced. I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. Though I am at the younger end of this, I do know where you are coming from.
I’m not a grown-up, but I pretend to be. It would be great if you could go from being irresponsible silly young child to being irresponsible silly old fart.
I find lately that I have been dragged kicking and screaming into adulthood. The fact that I can actively resist the urge to buy a new Nintendo DS or Sony PSP – because I need to save money for the family – brought that unpleasant truth home.
I’m only 27 and I have a wife, two kids, a new house, two cars, stocks & bonds etc. everything the OP mentioned. I’m not used to being considered an adult yet. I feel out of place when I go to my daughters school and pick her up early. I half expect one of the teachers to say something to me like “Son, siblings are not authorized to take children out of school early, we need a parents approval.”
I still can’t believe the mortgage company loaned me that much money to buy my home either. I don’t trust myself with more than a hundred bucks at a time, much less being on the hook for $200k+. What the hell were they thinking?
I’ve been an adult for a while, but I think that these days I’m a grown-up as well. I’m definitely a grown-up when I’m around my friends’ kids.
I’m 33, but single with no kids or mortgage. I still love to have fun, and I can be as immature as the next person, but on the whole these days I prefer as little bullshit in my life as possible (i.e., irresponsibility, excessive partying, etc.). I’ve gotten to a point where “grown-up” isn’t an insult anymore.
There is more to being a grown up than having kids and a house payment. Some people choose not to have kids or tie themselves down to a home. But they save for retirement and hold responsible jobs. Some of the most irresponsible people I know have kids, cars, boats, and homes AND are in debt up to thier eyeballs.
Do you still rely on your parents for support? Is your retirement plan based upon someone dying and leaving you thier wealth or winning the lottery?
Being able to provide for yourself is one of the primary signs of being an adult. Being able to take care of others (wife, kids, sick relatives ect. . .) is just icing on the cake.
I’m 50. No car, no spouse, no SO, and I live in a two room apt. I have a job I hate, but I can’t image doing anything else. I’ve really done nothing with my life, but i consider myself a grownup simply because I take care of myself.
I’m 26. I have a husband, a mortgage, and a couple of degrees. I love being a grown-up. Yes, worrying about money sucks. Yes, sometimes I feel wistful about not dancing the night away nearly as often as I used to. But when I was a kid, someone else was always making the decisions–where we would live, where we would go on vacation, could I have a pet, what we would have for dinner, etc. I make those decisions now. No way would I go back.
It’s like we thought we’d turn 18, 21 or some other magical number and “feel” grown up. I think the problem is we pretty much feel the same. A little or a lot more knowledgable possibly, but the same. When my best friend & I turned 30 she cried and cried. When asked how I felt about turning 30 I replied that 30 felt pretty much like 29 which felt like 28 and so on. Biggest difference now is my car insurance is cheaper… The biggest reason I know I am a grown up… I hear people say, “Oh my gawd can you belive Lynder has kids? And hasn’t broken them yet?” I still watch cartoons with & without my kids. SO yes I am a grown up… I just didn’t quite completely grow up.
I’m 36, one child, mortgage, 2 cars, married for 12 yrs. Two dogs, two cats, one horse. Still feeling young.
Until I realized that my best friend and I will be celebrating 20 years of friendship this year. And that we both just found our first grey hairs! We are both feeling a bit grown up.
I’m 18. I’m supposed to feel all responsible and calm and mature, dealing with life’s new challenges and obstacles, level-headed and ready to handle anything.
Im the youngerst of six kids. I will forever be “The Baby”
Im 36, have an 11 yr old son, pay all my own bills, work full time.
It doesnt matter, Im “The Baby”
It was pretty normal in my younger years, Ya know how people always say “Oh she’s getting so big” and “I cant beleive little Susie is 10 years old now!”
But it squicks me out to hear one of my (much older) sisters or brother say “Wow, I cant beleive little Susie is going to be 37!!”
It took a while, though. I was into my early 30’s before I really started doing the necessary work. First I had to get sober, then cope with my daughter’s health diagnoses, my mother’s sudden death, my dad’s lingering death, my heart attack, and looking for a new job when my old company went bankrupt.
Basically it was doing a series of hard things that I didn’t want to deal with. But they had to be done, and noone else was going to be able to my part for me. And others were depending on me to do them. So I did them.
Let’s see here,
I’m 39 years old.
No wife.
No kids.
No mortgage (but the mortgage thing is about to change).
I am a landowner (paid cash thankyouverymuch).
I am about to walk away from my alleged “career” and open my own business.
I have hair where it wasn’t before.
I move pretty slowly (thanks to a car wreck).
