I’m a pathological introvert. I hate crowds. I hate parties. I hate pointless socializing. Even if I know and like every person in the room, I don’t want there to be more than four total people in the room. Add one more and I’m willing to leave to bring the numbers back down. I’m not very comfortable around extroverts either. I can’t stand being around the life of the party - fortunately that person usually distracts the others while I make my escape.
I require a lot of alone time. Down in the basement is my geek room, a/k/a my isolation booth, and I usually require about an hour a day in there.
When I was a kid there weren’t many kids on my street and I went to school far from home, so I spent a lot of time playing by myself. And I enjoyed it. Between my Lego and my Star Wars figures I had a great time. I learned how to enjoy my own company - perhaps a bit too well, because these days I also have no problem being by myself. I don’t like hanging around with people that bug me because I got no problem being a lone - so make sure you presence outweighs your absence.
HOWEVER, and for this I’m thankful, I do have social skills. If I have to be in one of those situations, I can fake it pretty good. I can hold a lively conversation with ANYBODY, if I need to.
Checking in for the underdog extroverts here, thought I don’t entirely agree with the definitions. I don’t seek gratification from an outside source I do what I do and if you enjoy it more power to you. As to where I draw strength from, I get a funky high off the yellow sun man. Seriously though, I don’t like everybody I meet but I do the majority, and as vain as it sounds, few people who I have met would be averse to meeting me again. I’m almost always remembered, at restaurants that I only go to occasionally, by people that I have only met once, and just because I have no clue who you are does not mean we can’t have a fun time or an intelligent conversation. As to whether it gets tiring I would have to say not. I am the same guy if it’s one on one or in a crowd but I do have a habit of starting to perform once I get rolling, and heck maybe I am vain but I love people remembering me whether from a story about me from me or with me. Forgive the big head, it usually goes down by Wednsday.
Maybea year or so ago, people posted their Myers-Briggs personality test results (which includes a test for introversion). The results showed that, at least of those posting, the SDMB is overrepresented by introverts. There was a much higher percentage of innies posting to that thread than are in the general population. I’d think that a forum such as this is fitting for introverts, as it were.
Me? I’m an extrovert, although I’ve become more introverted as I’ve gotten older and relaxed a bit. I enjoy time on my own and enjoy sitting back and watching social interactions–but on the whole, I remain generally loud and outspoken.
I’m an extrovert, although not an extreme one. I’d rather be with people than be alone, but I can be overwhelmed at big parties. According to MBTI-type tests, I’m an Idealist-ENFJ
I am definitely an introvert, always have been. I grew up feeling shy and I had very few friends in school as a result. While I envied the more outgoing kids for being liked by everyone, their ability to say anything to anyone and retain their attention, I also hated them because they could be obnoxious and hog the spotlight, so to speak. They also knew that I was less inclined to speak up and looked at me as some sort of outcast because of this. I always found it difficult to get anyone’s attention. When I did, they were often critical of what I said and acted like I was wasting their time.
I pretty much kept to myself as I was growing up. I had plenty of toys and other diversions to hold my attention. I didn’t play sports or participate in very many activities requiring other people.
I really don’t like going to any sort of social gatherings. Being with more than two friends at a time makes me uncomfortable, and I usually only like being with them for a few hours at the most. As soon as we’re done I like to get back to what I was doing at home since I am usually working on some sort of computer project. If there are three or more friends, the others usually carry on while I sit there in silence, contributing little to the conversation, and I’m not much of a conversation starter. If the topic the others are talking about is of no interest to me I’ll be deeply entrenched in my own thoughts.
I’m glad to see that I am not the only “wallflower” here.
Another introvert checking in. I think there should be a third category for people like myself, however, who are definitely introverted but don’t care enough about what other people think to be shy of socializing. Or maybe that is the definition of introversion. I have to go off by myself and think about this now.
(checks post ratio… hmm, 0.11 posts per day. Introvert.)
Seriously though, by the MBTI description I’m clearly an introvert; I’ve felt that others drain my energy as long as I can remember. (This is probably made worse by the fact that I’m a high self-monitor, one who easily changes their personality to suit the mood because they’re concerned about how they appear to others.) By Webster’s definition, I’m definitely an extravert, preferring external gratification to quiet reflection - it’s just that I prefer to enjoy the external stimuli by myself. (Hey, I heard that! Minds out of the gutter!)
My main point, though, is that I believed I was hopelessly introverted back in high school, doomed to just observe interesting social stuff and never actually participate in it. Then I came to college and started studying psychology, learning crazy things, like how eighty percent of college students consider themselves shy, but for many it’s just a state of mind. The bystander effect, conformity and how useful the first dissenter is, stuff like that. Determined to rid myself of these social biases, I just kept those things in my mind in social situations. I can now pass as an extravert just fine for a few hours before I need to recharge alone, and my social life is far better for it. Life is genuinely more fun for me now. (Rather than spending my Saturday nights playing video games alone, I now spend my Saturday nights playing video games with a large group of friends. :rolleyes: ) I still hate getting the phone, but I can now behave as if that problem wasn’t there once I’m on the line.
What amazes me is that I can actually track my changing preferences on the MBTI. Since freshman year I’ve gone from “strong introvert” to moderate to slight. I wouldn’t go back for anything.
Now that I think about it, this sounds kind of like Merhouse and Duke’s posts, just with a different catalyst. Interesting.
I’ve taken the Myers-Briggs indicator a couple of times, and always come out as an ENFP. However, I am right on the line between introvert and extrovert. (5 on a scale of 1 - 10). I tend to take control in crisis situations, but would rather be with one or two other peopel in social situations.
I’m shy, but have developed coping mechanisms that lead people to think I’m very outgoing, much like Cougarfang. nice kitty
The introvert/extrovert portion of Myers-Briggs profiling was incredibly helpful to me. According to the tests, I am very clearly an introvert. I never thought of myself as such, because I am friendly and social and all. But, I am definitely an introvert (in the Myers-Briggs sense). Being defined as such really helped me understand myself better.
I’m very near the borderline between extrovert and introvert on the Meyers-Briggs tests. That bears out my experiences. I like to be on my own, and I like going out with my mates. I’m quiet and crazy. I have a big personality, but it’s big enough to manage on its own some of the time.
I think this is absolutely true. For the first 20 years of my life, everyone around me called me shy so I believed it about myself. Then I learned more about things like this, and I came to realize that I’m quiet, not shy, and they are definitely two different things. I don’t speak up a lot if I have nothing to add to a discussion, or if the people are talking about things that don’t interest me, but I have no problem initiating conversations and participating in ones that interest me. Knowing in my mind that I’m not shy has made a huge difference to me - thinking of yourself as shy really is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I’m an introvert, though I enjoy crowds, spending time with other people and socializing. I’m glad Featherlou and Mind Gamer pointed out that shy and introverted aren’t synonyms. I’m shy as well, but they’re two separate qualities.
I recently took a career-exploration exam, and the career counselor was careful to point out to the group that introvert doesn’t translate as “doesn’t like to be around people.” My mom never understood the distinction, and used to call me a hermit and say I hated people when I would stay in my room and read. That really wasn’t a nice thing to do to a child.
I used to be more quiet, but I forced myself to be more outgoing, and frankly it is more fun now compared to 20 years ago (high school age).
I like to talk to people in elevators, in the grocery line, not to be noticed by others but just to be personable I think. I sometime flirt with waitresses or salesgirls, but just for fun.
Mrs. H8_2_W8 thinks I’m sort of a overt pervert 'cause I tend to turn my head and look at other women. Maybe I should convert and revert to being more of an introvert.
