This thread is aimed at persons who have one person they have considered Mother since childhood and another they have considered Father. I don’t really care about the marital status of those two people, or whether they were your biological parents or not. But since I’m interested today in whether Dopers are in general closer to the parent of hte same or opposite gender, I can’t think of a way to include the children of same-sex couples in a meaningful way. Sorry.
Poll in a moment, but don’t let that slow you down.
My father is closer; he lives just outside of town. My mother lives in a different state.
Just getting that out of the way.
I don’t really consider either to be “closer” than the other as far as the strength of the parent/child relationship goes. If forced, I’d probably choose my father because he and I are more alike.
If one or both of your parents is dead, please answer in terms of how you felt about them during their lives. If you have both bio & adoptive parents, decide for yourself which pair you will answer in terms of.
Female: I can’t say, as I love them both.
Female: I can’t say, as I despise them both.
But really, I guess it would be mom, even though she’s dead. My dad is not…a person to me, he’s just the man who married my mother, and I am not a person to him, I’m just Daughter.
Definitely my father although until their divorce it was fairly equal. I was 10 when that happened so I’m not certain if the divorce changed her, if it just revealed her personality to me sooner than I would have otherwise noticed or if my father had been covering for her up to that point. I suspect it was a little of each.
I’m closer to my father. We have similar senses of humour, he coached me extensively in my formative years in whatever sport I was into, helped me build model cars and planes and spaceships, and so forth. Moving into adulthood, I began coaching baseball with him after I finished playing (and I have continued to do so even after he decided he had enough) and we were on the same curling team for more than a decade as well, so he has been a huge influence on my life. I also love my mom, who is a good-hearted, caring, and giving person, but I don’t connect with her quite the way I do with my dad.
(Tangentially to the topic, it was their 43rd anniversary yesterday. I was born six months to the day after they were married – At 9 lbs 6 oz, I was HUGE for a baby born three months premature!)
Before my dad went all wacky-molestation-mode on my ass, I was definitely closer to him. Although we no longer communicate (by my choice), I know that I’m much more like him than I am like my mother. These days I’m closer to my mother only because I’ve estranged my father.
My sister was a mama’s girl growing up and has always been closer to our mom than our dad, but frankly I don’t think she’s much like either of our parents. She’s kind of a sport that way. Or maybe she’s like the milkman. I used to tease her that everyone would think she was adopted if not for her feet and toes, which are the spitting image of my dad’s (the same shape, distinctively-sized and -shaped big toe, and feet only slightly smaller than his).
My parents divorced when I was fairly young. Of my three brothers, one spent most of his time with my spent most of his time with our dad, one kind of lived with either at various times, and I spent most of my time with my mom. As a result, I ended up being most like my mom and being closest to my mom. I still love my father too, we’re just the least alike and he’s not particularly emotional or affectionate anyway, so having missed out on what little I could have had, I definitely feel like both of my brothers are much closer to him than I am.
Female and was much closer to my father (who had been divorced from my mother since I was seven and passed away 15 years ago.)
My mother has the maternal instincts of a fish. I’ve never been close to her, or had much of a relationship with her, since I was about 11 years old and was packed off to boarding school when she got remarried and I became inconvenient.
Both of my parents are deceased, but I was always closer to my mother. Mainly because it’s hard to be close to an abusive person who never should have gotten married and never should have had kids.
My Dad was fairly typical as Fathers go. Busy, intelligent, sociable, masculine, liked sports, hunting rabbits, and a very occasional beer.
I am not very sociable, and not very masculine, and don’t like sports, hunting, or beer. For that reason I would say I’m more like, and closer to, my Mum.
My Dad died when I was fourteen, so I don’t know if I’d feel closer to him once I got past the awkward teenage years and learned a bit more about who he was, had been, and wanted to be.
I loved my Dad, and he loved all of us, and I had a wonderful childhood. I miss him.
Female; answered 'Can’t say ‘cause I love them both’ but love’s got nothing to do with it. I am close to each for different reasons. They’re like the yin and yang of me
I’m probably technically closer to my mom since we walk together every day and chat, but there’s not much that I share with her that doesn’t get shared with my dad (I’m boring).
So while I spend more time with mom, I do love them equally.
Maybe. But I feel confident in saying that at least four of my five sisters would say they’ve always been closer to our father; I’m unique, I think, in having always liked Mother best.
I used to tease her that everyone would think she was adopted if not for her feet and toes, which are the spitting image of my dad’s (the same shape, distinctively-sized and -shaped big toe, and feet only slightly smaller than his).