Sorry if you have two moms or two dads. This poll isn’t for you.
If one parent ran away, then the other is the clear winner.
If one parent died really early and no one replaced them, then try not to vote, because that wouldn’t be fair. If they lived for a period of time, then judge them against your other parent for the period of time that they lived.
The poll applies to non-biological parents as well. You get to pick whoever you think deserves the title of mother or father if you weren’t raised by your biological parents.
If they both deserve to rot in hell, pick the one that deserves it the least.
I don’t think my mother deserves the title of mother, that’s the thing. Dad did deserve the title of father: not the bestest Dad in the world, but he did ok. Mom? Nope. Not a mother, same as neither her sister, nor their mother, nor their paternal grandmother, were any kind of mothers. They had children and any of those kids who died in childhood did so from things that the science of the time could not heal, but it was a disliked, mechanical process, involving negligence, abandonment and sexual and emotional abuse. Thinking of your mother should make you feel fuzzy inside, not like running away.
My parents never played favorites with their kids, so I’m not going to play favorites with them. Suffice to say that I love them both very much, despite their various imperfections.
My mother is the better parent, by any objective measure.
Leaving aside the emotional conflicts we had throughout my teen years, she worked two jobs for most of my childhood life to make sure my brother and I had a good house to live in, with plenty of food and a decent quality of life. She put aside her own love life to bring up her two children, rearranged and moved heaven and earth to make sure we had opportunities and tools we needed to make a successful life for ourselves.
Dad was a fortnightly parent, one weekend out of every two. And before I turned 16 he got a job and moved to Oman, so we saw him even less. He never supplied much in the way of support to mum, and even turned down a job on more than one occasion when it meant he’d be garnished for child support.
They also defined different parental roles for themselves (traditional housewife and working dad) and as far as I can say they each lived up to their part of the bargain; it would be impossible to say which was a better ‘parent’. I have a close relationship with both now as an adult and that’s all that matters to me.
My father died at the age of 58 when I was only 13. I still miss him so deeply. The last time I saw him he was standing in his hospital room wearing a bathrobe waiting for his triple bypass surgery. He was so brave.That was the last time I saw my sweet father. He used to call me his doll. I am crying as I type this.
My Mom did a pretty good job of being a parent although it wasn’t easy for her. Dad was a veteran of WWII (Normandy invasion) and clearly suffered from what we now call PTSD.
She lost two kids in childbirth and the three of us who made it were pretty difficult right through our teen years.
I wish I could tell her “thanks!” and that it all turned out pretty good.
My father never should have gotten married, and definitely never should have had kids. My mother could have done a lot better, and he would have been happier as well.
My mom has been an exceptional mom, but my dad has been quite good at being a dad. He worked his ass off and built a good life for us and made time to spend with us.
Both of my parents are amazing. I guess dad gets a big black mark for being an alcoholic and a bit of a depressed veteran (not his fault), but that in turn makes mom even a more stunning example of a saint, so I did have to vote for her.
I agree with this. Both parents had their strengths as parents and their weaknesses, but neither was clearly better at it than the other, and I love them both dearly.
I consider my dad the better parent because he wasn’t abusive. He also enjoyed spending time with us, and was much more loving and interested in us as individuals. However it’s not a fair contest; he worked a lot and my mom did 90% of daily childcare. Plus he was the one who always wanted lots of kids and identified strongly with being a parent. My mom didn’t enjoy being a parent at all.
Mom, but I have no bad feelings for Dad. He tries. He’s just not as nurturing. And, even then, it’s a close call. I just went by which one would have had the bigger impact if they weren’t there.
I get the appeal of not naming anyone, but I like to vote in polls!
I should have been classy and posted this. As it was I voted for Mom.
My mom is awesome and practically my best friend.
My dad is a good person, loves his family, a hard worker, always came through for my brother and I. He is also fussy, self centred, was spoiled as an only child, and he and I had tempers that clashed, although I now just refuse to engage.
Mom wins but not because Dad was in anyway a bad parent. Just sometimes challenging to get along with. (See ages 12-35)
My mother and father both made a ton of mistakes raising me. But my mother realized she had been wrong about some things, and apologized – not after being confronted by me, but simply because it had been bothering her and she wanted to try to make things better between her. So it’s Mother by a long shot. I don’t think she ever completely understood me, but she realized she didn’t and made allowances for that; and she did not believe her Christianity made her always right about everything, or incapable of sin.
Sadly I was not a very good son, and by the time I was in a place to be a better one, it was too late.
Why, yes, Mother’s Day does leave me depressed, why do you ask?
Same here. They both have their quirks, but then so do I. They both did their best to be the best parents they could, not surprisingly they each did better at some aspects of that than others, but overall I don’t think either was better or worse than the other.