When my grandma died, my mum’s brothers divided her estate between them, on the grounds that mum (as a single parent) had had enough support from them when they were alive and it was their turn now. Mum didn’t fight them because she didn’t want to cause a family rift, but she was hurt. Actually she was most upset by what happened to their furniture - a beautiful and expensive Italian leather suite that had been one of their few indulgences after they sold their house. Mum’s brother told her it would be too expensive to transport it to her, and we later found out he’d given it to his own father-in-law - by all accounts a horrible man who he deeply disliked, so I’m not sure why. Mum said that upset her most of all because grandma would have hated him to have it.
Mum and I did end up with most of grandma’s jewellery and ornaments, because she, perhaps anticipating what would happen once she died, had spent years quietly gifting it to us whenever she saw us.
As for me, I’m not expecting anything from my mum bar a lot of debt, as she really is horrible with money (while I hate how much it upset her, I can see where my uncles were coming from - my grandparents spent years bailing her out of financial messes of her own making). Frankly, if she can maintain financial independence till the end of her life, I’ll be grateful for that, but I’m not expecting it.
No, but it would be nice to at least not to have to deal with it, frankly. I miss my Dad and was sad when he died (parents were divorced), but the grieving process has been almost entirely over shadowed by dealing with his mess of an estate. Issues included the government forcing me to sell his house to pay for his medical bills, dealing with other relatives who were his tenants, his complete lack of regard for organizing important papers, his horrible hoarding problem, and funeral costs. It’s been a year and I’m just now seeing a glimpse if the end of it.
My grandparents moved far away and plan on taking everything with them.
My other grandma has a mortgage so I don’t imagine her leaving anything behind.
My mom is remarried. Should both her and my step dad die some day, I suppose my half brother and I will split the estate. My mom is a hoarder too, but she at least is clean, organized, and has real health insurance.
We’ve already had our “inheritance”. My dad agreed to help my brothers and I purchase our first homes with a “loan” that we’re not expected to pay back. The view was that the money is better used now while we’re starting off in life (at the time we were between 30 and 23), plus it gives my parents a chance to enjoy it with us.
The flip side is that we are not expecting anything when eventually my folks pass away, which seems an entirely reasonable position.
My grandparents are all long gone. When my dad’s mother died 40 years ago, I think I got $50, but before she died, I got her old treadle-model Singer, which sits in my living room today - that means something to me. And when my dad died, my mother gave my paternal grandfather’s wedding ring to me and my husband wears it - next year would have been my grandparents’ 100th anniversary, so that’s a neat memento.
When Mom’s parents died, I didn’t get any money, but I didn’t expect to. My mom’s youngest sister has mental and physical issues and my grandparents’ estate was to support her. When she dies, anything left becomes part of my mother’s estate, so by that extension, I might inherit some money. What I really wanted, and got, was a print that used to hang in the living room of the house where my mom grew up. It’s not rare or valuable and it’s not particularly artistic, but as a kid, I loved sitting and staring at it, imagining I was in it. And it’s hanging on the wall not 10 feet from me.
Barring a horrific medical catastrophe, I know I’ll get money from my mom’s estate. My dad left her well provided for, plus her house is worth a lot. I’m not counting on a dollar amount, but I fully expect to get in excess of 6 figures. If it doesn’t happen, that just means that Mom’s last days pretty much drained her estate, which would be far worse than any “loss” of money.
Oddly enough, my husband and I were discussing this very thing the other day. His folks aren’t nearly as well off as mine were, plus his youngest brother has problems that left him totally dependent on his parents. Other than a few mementos - some of his dad’s tools and a piece or two of his mother’s artsy-craftsy stuff - he doesn’t want and doesn’t expect any inheritance. I just fear that we’ll inherit the care of the youngest brother, and that’s a scary thought…
When my grandmother died, she had less than $50 cash, so my family paid for most of the funeral. Her childless sister died afterward, with her estate divided by her eight siblings. Grandma’s share, less some of the funeral expenses was divided among her three children, but since my father had already passed away, his share was divided up by the five of us, so I had, what, 1/120 of a very modest “estate.”
Similar story here. We do ok, but when more people in my family start knocking off, our lives are going to change a lot. My grandmother has already started to dissolve the estate and give distributions to her children, so there already have been some rumblings.
I make enough for us to live reasonably comfortably but nowhere near enough for my son to enjoy some of the advantages I had growing up. So that’s what we figure this money is for. It will pay for fancy summer programs and all the little extras that I had that really made a difference in my life growing up but that because of my choices, I would never be able to afford to pay for on my own. Most of the rest of my family is going to light that wealth on fire as fast as they can pour the oil on it, which is of course their right. I’m hoping my wife and I can save ours and pass it on to our son someday, if only so he can have children of his own without feeling the crushing financial pressure people our age do.
My grandparents are all dead, as is my mother. I’m not “expecting” so much, but I am on my father’s will, and he does have a fair bit of money. I tell him to enjoy it, and live his life, but you know what, they made my life miserable and fucked up a good portion of it. They took care of me, too, but it took me until my thirties to get over all the issues they left me with. So yes, I am hoping that a good portion of the money will be left over, mainly to buy a house with.
However I will be accepting, if not happy, if nothing comes to me.
My brother and I have already inherited the crazy from both of our parents. Oh wait, money?!?
I have a copy of my mom’s will and my brother and I will probably end up with a tidy chunk of change when she dies. Not a life changing amount but a life easing amount
My Dad? I would be highly surprised if I inherited anything other than the aforementioned crazy
My parents don’t own anything. My grandparents are underwater (or close to it) on the only property they own. It’s very likely that either of them dying will cause a financial burden to their heirs, rather than an inheritance.
That’s perfectly fine by me, too. For myself, I’m going to pay for my son’s college and give him an honest shot at a good life, but I plan on eventually dying broke.
Not really. My mother’s retirement income is purely SS and below the U.S. poverty line ( she gets by and is independent thanks to subsidized housing ) and though she has a little set aside in CD’s, it doesn’t amount to all that much and probably will disappear in the next decade as it helps cover extra expenses. I expect her to leave nothing but keepsakes.
My father and step-mother are far from wealthy themselves, but much more solvent and own their small but reasonably nice condo outright. It’s as likely as not that they will leave that property behind and maybe a smidgeon more, depending how long they can hold on. But if anything it really will be a smidgeon and everything will be divided three ways anyway. It will probably be more than zero, but nothing to plan around.
My father lived to 95, and my father-in-law is going strong at 96, so we’ve lived well past the time we need any money from them. I’m the executor of my father’s living trust which stays in effect until my step-mother dies, so I know exactly how much my brother and I will get from that. My wife is an only child, so no issue there. But it is nice to not need the money.
