Are you fond of saying Apples and Oranges can't be compared? Listen up, dumbshit!

[Ike_Witt]

@tremorviolet

Oranges grow on trees; never seen an apple outside of the Piggly-Wiggly…

I’ve never seen a Piggly-Wiggly.

[Yamirskoonir]

They’re both purple except for the elephant!

Oh wait, we’re talking apples and oranges, not plums… :smack:

[Giraffe]

Next up on the Pedantic Semantic: why you should never, ever say “see you later” unless you have specific plans to see that person later.

[Miller]

@A Monkey With a Gun

If we are going to do away with “apple and oranges” because of situations in which they can be compared, we need to get rid of other expressions that don’t hold literally true 100% of the time.

The early bird gets the worm. A falisy. Many, if not most, birds do not eat worms. Therefore, the earliest bird will frequently be a non worm eater, leaving the worm to be devoured by a later bird.

When in Rome, do as the Romans. That’s just bad advice. “when in Rome do as the Italians” might work, but the Romans have been gone for 1500 years or so and the Italians are not going to like it if you walk around their capital city talking about invading Germany.

A stitch in time saves nine. Never mind nine what, the concept of using a needle and thread on space-time violates everything we know about Relativity and Quantum mechanics. I suspect the expression stems from a misuderstanding of string theory.

My favorite peeve:

You attract more flies with honey than you do with vinegar. The unspoken corollary being, you attract even more flies with a pig steaming pile of shit.

[Chefguy]

@Hazel

First, you can add apples and oranges. If you have 2 oranges and 3 apples, you have 5 fruits. For that matter, you can add all sorts of things more different than two kinds of fruit. If you have 2 can openers and 3 living room sofas, you can say that that adds up to 5 objects. If you have two chickens and 3 doorknobs, you can say that that adds up to 5 things.

WRONG!

If you have 2 oranges and 3 apples, you still only have 2 fruits. If you have 2 can openers and 3 living room sofas, you have a large house and probably a cat or a dog.

If you have 2 chickens and 3 doorknobs, you just have a serious reality problem.

[MLS]

My guess is that the OP saw this

Maynard Fimble was told that “you can’t compare apples and oranges,” but, he thought, they are both eatable, grow on trees, are about the same size, are good for you, have a peel, come in many varieties, and are approximately round in shape, thus, to his horror and guilt, he realized that he was comparing them and wondered what punishment awaited him and on whose order.

Charles Jaworski
North Pole, AK

in the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

[Chastain86]

@adam yax

Orange Tang Pie. I’ve never tried this, but a friend claims that it is fantastic.

This is perhaps one of the most awful things I’ve ever heard of.

[Cyros]

Orange Tang Pie. I’ve never tried this, but a friend claims that it is fantastic.

This is perhaps one of the most awful things I’ve ever heard of

But, but, it’s the pie of astronauts!

[Fear_Itself]

@adam yax

Orange Tang Pie. I’ve never tried this, but a friend claims that it is fantastic.

Anything like Poon Tang Pie?

[CanvasShoes]

@Podkayne

Huh. I always thought the phrase was, “You’re comparing apples and oranges,” or “You’re talking about apples and oranges,” i.e. you are considering two things that are dissimilar in some way that is important to the discussion.

I mean, obviously you can compare them. To say that you can’t is just stupid.

Yeah, this is how I always heard it too. And um, secondly, it’s a SAYING. Not a scientific fact or something, you might as well gripe about any other adage, it’s just a saying made up by God knows who, to illustrate a point. I don’t think it was ever meant to be taken literally.

[Miller]

@CanvasShoes

Yeah, this is how I always heard it too. And um, secondly, it’s a SAYING. Not a scientific fact or something, you might as well gripe about any other adage, it’s just a saying made up by God knows who, to illustrate a point. I don’t think it was ever meant to be taken literally.

Well, sure, if you want to be reasonable about it. But where’s the fun in that?

[CanvasShoes]

@Miller

Well, sure, if you want to be reasonable about it. But where’s the fun in that?

hehe, And furthermore, I prefer oranges!

[matt_mcl]

@A Monkey With a Gun

When in Rome, do as the Romans. That’s just bad advice. “when in Rome do as the Italians” might work, but the Romans have been gone for 1500 years or so…

Okay, smart guy, what would you call someone who lives in Rome?

[TJdude825]

@matt_mcl

Okay, smart guy, what would you call someone who lives in Rome?

Regardless, unless you’re very good at observing and imitating the actions, language (including a good accent), clothing styles, etc. of those people (whatever we call them), you may come across as a silly tourist trying desperately not to look like a silly tourist. Or they might think you were making fun of their culture. And by the way…

All roads lead to Rome. - Except most of them. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a road that DOES lead to Rome, and I’ve seen a lot of roads in my time.

We can kill two birds with one stone. - I imagine that for most people, killing even one bird, with or without a stone, is quite difficult. But to kill two of them, using a single stone? If you didn’t do it in one throw, the second one would probably fly away. And to do it in one throw would probably take some very remarkable aim and strength.

[Noone_Special]

I have better versions of these!

@A Monkey With a Gun

The early bird gets the worm. A falisy. Many, if not most, birds do not eat worms. Therefore, the earliest bird will frequently be a non worm eater, leaving the worm to be devoured by a later bird.

The early worm gets the bird.

When in Rome, do as the Romans. That’s just bad advice. “when in Rome do as the Italians” might work, but the Romans have been gone for 1500 years or so and the Italians are not going to like it if you walk around their capital city talking about invading Germany.

When in Rome, do as the Romanians.

Dani

[BiblioCat]

@matt_mcl

Okay, smart guy, what would you call someone who lives in Rome?

The Pope.

[High_Cheese]

@adam yax

Orange Tang Pie. I’ve never tried this, but a friend claims that it is fantastic.

See, this is what happens when people are given too much access to information!

[blowero]

@CanvasShoes

Quote:
Originally Posted by Podkayne
Huh. I always thought the phrase was, “You’re comparing apples and oranges,” or “You’re talking about apples and oranges,” i.e. you are considering two things that are dissimilar in some way that is important to the discussion.

I mean, obviously you can compare them. To say that you can’t is just stupid.

Yeah, this is how I always heard it too. And um, secondly, it’s a SAYING. Not a scientific fact or something, you might as well gripe about any other adage, it’s just a saying made up by God knows who, to illustrate a point. I don’t think it was ever meant to be taken literally.

Absolutely. An adage is a verbal-shorthand way of expressing an idea that is either utterly obvious or commonly known to be true. It’s not a logical argument in and of itself. It’s implied that the reason why dissimilar things cannot be considered to be identical is already known, and doesn’t need to be said. It’s similar to saying “That’s a strawman”. An argument is not literally a man made out of straw.

I mean, my God - could anything be more obvious? I thought this thread had to be a joke, but apparently some people are actually serious about this. :eek: