I have a couple of food allergies, and my tolerance for dairy is iffy, so I mostly make substitutions to avoid those.
I also can’t stand fried sides, and I hate french fries/hash browns, which is often the default side for breakfasts/lunches. I don’t even want to smell them! I generally ask for veggies, or just NO POTATOES (and half the time, they come with french fries anyway. Because WHO doesn’t want FRENCH FRIES?)
No, unless something is truly way wrong, I was a waitress once, so I do my best to make things as easy as possible on them, they get it from all sides, the customers, the cooks and the management.
And if I do complain, I make sure I ask for the manager and complain to him/her and make SURE he knows that it is not the waitstaff’s fault (the few times I’ve had to complain, it has been the cook’s fault).
It’s GOT to be one of the worst jobs on the planet.
I’m very low maintenance, pretty much the only thing I do is ask for salad dressing on the side as often I find there’s just too much of it. Also, since I’m dieting, I want to watch how much of the stuff I have and some restaurants tend to drench salad in dressing.
I can’t remember the last time I sent a dish back to the kitchen, I would only do that if something was really undercooked.
Honestly, the idea that you could make changes never came to me. Well, not never, but only recently, and I usually forget. I just normally go to places where the options are explicit. The only time I order off-menu is if the waiter asks.
I also usually eat what I’m given, though I will return it if it’s undercooked, and if it’s so not what I ordered that it includes one of the rare foods I dislike. But I don’t think either of these should qualify. The movie quote is just about ordering off-menu, and maybe even taking a lot of time to do it.
Wait, I do generally take my time figuring out what I want, though. I’m almost always the last to order in any group.
I think I’m average. I ask for dressings, sauces and gravies on the side, because I don’t like my food swimming in liquids. If a dish looks good but contains cilantro, I ask if it’s possible to get it without, because I’m one of those people who taste soap in that herb.
I’ve sent back things that weren’t what I ordered, because, well, they’re not what I’ve ordered. I’ve also sent back things that were too salty or over/undercooked to be edible. I don’t think that’s wrong, though. If I’m paying for food, it should be what I asked for and should be cooked properly.
No I tend not to complain or grouse to waitstaff unless I really can’t eat it or its wrong. I am related to people who will treat the server like their personal maid, having them fetch stuff that they really don’t need or use, it’s a game to them to see how far they can push it.
You’re a vegetarian, and your in-laws brought you to a steak house on your birthday?!?
Wow. Just… wow.
I went to the Philly Pizza Company and ordered some hot tea, the waitress said “no, we only have it iced”, so I jumped up on the table and shouted “anarchy!”
I ask for my drinks to be served with very little ice, because it hurts my teeth. I do make inquiries about what’s in dishes, because of my allergies, but sometimes . . . We went to a very nice restaurant once and I ordered crab cakes, and I had to send them back because they came with a grapefruit garnish. I am horribly allergic to grapefruit. But who thinks to ask to have the grapefruit left off the crab cakes? 
I will send back a steak if it’s not cooked correctly… but I always order a steak rare, rare, ultra-rare, and I tell the server that no matter how rare it is, I won’t send it back, I promise. I tell them if steak tartare were on the menu, THAT’S what I’d be ordering.
If they send out a medium-cooked steak after all that, it goes back. Anything pinker, I eat.
No custom stuff on anything else.
I’m not a fan of mayo, tartar, or most other sauces, so I always order without or on the side. I also don’t like onions and most of the time will just avoid ordering something that has them, but if it’s a sandwich I’ll just ask for it to be made without. If that makes me unbearably picky, so be it. The nice part about making a special order, especially at a fast food joint, is that you get a fresh sandwich, not one that’s been sitting in the warmer for half an hour.
I frequently ask for modifications, but the modifications themselves are pretty simple. For example, if I saw a pasta dish with one ingredient I didn’t want (e.g. bacon, proscuitto) I’d ask them to hold it. More than that, I’d order something else. If I liked something but wanted the sauce from a different dish, I’d ask for that. I don’t bother even asking to do this for dishes that are usually made ahead of time, like lasagna.
I used to never do this but I was actually encouraged to by my sisters, both of whom worked as waitstaff for quite awhile. Of course, tip appropriately, but as long as it’s not excessive (I’ll have the omelet special, except add tomatoes, mushrooms and onions, and remove the cheese and bacon) I go ahead. But I usually ask, “Is it possible to do X?” And if I get a no, or a “well…”, then I always have a backup plan.
My sisters are actually worse than me (often due to dieting); we’ve gone into the restaurant where they worked, and their order was along the lines of “I’d like the veggie omelet, but without the enchilada sauce, and instead salsa; no cheese; double veggies; instead of fruit, I’d like the multigrain pancakes, and would like sugar free syrup.” I won’t do this, but I have been known to jump in with “Just give me the same thing as her” if the dish she’s concocted sounds good. But when they’d do this, they’d tip over 30%. Even more on breakfast, since it’s cheap.
I never just order ‘off the menu’ unless it’s something really obvious (could I get a side order of toast at a breakfast place, even though they don’t have ala carte stuff listed). I read the menu and look at what they have, and suggest a reasonable modification.
I just have to share this joke on the subject that I got recently in email:
Four older ladies are having lunch at a nice restaurant. After the order is taken and the food has arrived, the young waiter comes back to the table and asks, “Is anything okay?”
I don’t know that I’d call myself high-maintenance, but I do ask for substitutions pretty regularly - nothing that’s not on the menu, but I’ll ask for double veggies instead of fries, that kind of thing.
I will send steak back if it’s cooked wrong - I like medium rare, and surpisingly often I get something closer to medium well or well done (almost completely brown through the middle, it’s no one’s idea of medium rare). This only happens with steak, so there must be something about me that says I like well-done steak, apparently.
I just order something I hope I’ll like, and then I eat whatever I get.
Low maintenance here. One of the reasons I go to restaurants is to experience their idea of how an entree should be prepared and what should accompany it. So I find something on the menu that appeals to me, and I eat it. No special orders or exceptions. If something is over- or under-cooked, I might ask that something be done about that.
That kind of thing didn’t happen back when Mojo Nixon was working there.
Hot tea drinkers must be a major pita for most places. You need the special 1 cup carafe of lukewarm water, your plate with teabag, lemon, the side shot of creamer and sugar. Then the teabagger leaves the limp sack of chopped brown grunge seeping and steaming tangled up in the spoon. what a delight
By the definition of this poll, I am high maintenance. I usually ask some sort of diet related change every time (dressing on side, double veggies, no butter, a to go box right away so I can box up what I don’t intend to eat, etc). I will send stuff back if my order is not right.
Since I’m a good tipper, I know from experience that when I leave my server doesn’t think “damn that bitch was high maintenance” my server thinks “left a good tip - awesome person!”
Because that was pretty much my only criteria for whether a table was “good” or not - how much money they left. The sweetest, most polite couple who stiffed me were assholes. The most high maintenance, multiple trips for every little thing, complaining, special ordering table who left me good money - Loved Them!
My wife takes the Menu as a suggestion of how they would like you to order. She likes designing her own plates by ingredients she knows they have because they are somewhere on the menu. She is very picky about using certain spices, etc in cooking her order also. If they don’t get it right, back it goes.
Me, easy to please, strickly off the menu.