If Your Diet is That Frigging Complicated, Eat At Home!

The BBQ Pit
1

A bit of a delayed rant, as I was more angry about this back when I was a waitress, but here it is.

If your diet is so complicated that all you can eat is organic broccoli or a particular kind of free-range chicken cooked in a certain kind of oil at a certain teperature, I suggest you either go to a restaurant that specializes in those exact foods or you STAY THE FUCK HOME.

Don’t walk into an Italian restaurant and tell your server that you would like a specific dinner (example: “I want a plain piece of beef, not too big, with a side of steamed organic cauliflower, no oils or spices or sauces. I’m on a strict diet. And no carbs!”) that is very much NOT on the menu!

Restaurants have menus for a reason. What you see in the menu is the food they actually have. If organic cauliflower is not on the menu, the restaurant does not have it. If the menu lists their only steak as a 12-oz steak, they do not have a 6-oz. And no, they will NOT cut the 12-oz in half for you. What do you expect them to do with the other half?!

Furthermore, if you go into a RESTAURANT that makes gourmet pizza, DO NOT ASK IF YOU CAN ONLY ORDER HALF. Are you crazy? We’re not Domino’s. We’re a nice, sit-down restaurant. They aren’t going to MAKE a half-pizza, so no, you cannot order half a pizza, dimwit.

And while we’re on the subject, if you go into a nice restaurant at dinner time, and you see the place is packed to the gills with people eating three-course meals and drinking expensive wines, do NOT be surprised when you are turned away because you’re just looking to order coffee. It’s the DINNER RUSH. If all you want is a $1.50 espresso, I suggest you go to Starbucks rather than taking up one of the server’s tables.
Rant over.

2

Can I get fries with that? :stuck_out_tongue:

3

“That will be $78. And to drink?”

Same with the half-pizza:

“That will be $14. There’s a two-for-one special on half pizzas tonight.”

4

Amen. I had a friend awhile back who was a chef at a nice restuarant that prided itself on the good food it served. Guys would come in for lunch, say they were in a hurry and want to be able to eat and get out in 20 minutes. My buddy would give them directions to the Denny’s down the road. Some things just can’t be rushed.

5

How does the last one work? Do people sit down, order coffee, and then you say “Is that all?”
“Yes.”
“OK, you’re going to have to leave now.”

Because I could see a slight problem with that scenario.

6

More likely, they enter, order coffee only, and then feel put out when the waitstaff tries to rush them to finish and leave. Doesn’t occur to these dingleberries that they’re taking money out of the waitstaff’s pockets

7

Ordering things not on the menu, unless you are personal friends with the owner and also know for an absolute fact that they do make it and just that way, is the height of Arrogance.

Just once, I’d like to see the server yank the menu back out of his/her hands and say “No Soup For You…six months!” and then proceed to take the next person at the table’s order.

8

Umm, no. They are *customers, * who put money into the waitstaff’s pocket. If management wants to implement a clearly stated minimum purchase policy, then that’s fine. Otherwise, the “staff” needs to treat *all * customers well.

9

So how big a tip are they leaving for that $1.50 coffee? If the waiter can serve a party at that table that places a $150.00 order, how big a tip can the waiter expect?

10

Ah yes, the customer is always right BS response. Unless that coffee person is a regular who spends on other items, they’re eating into the profits of the restaurant and the income of the waitstaff. As such, any manager with a set of balls should apply heel to butt and fill the table with customers who will actually make the business money.

11

Like I said *"If management wants to implement a clearly stated minimum purchase policy, then that’s fine. * " It’s not the job of the waitstaff to decide whether or not to serve a given customer based upon the likely tip. It’s not the customer who is right, it’s the owners who are “always right”- they get to set policy, not the line employees.

12

Dude, this attitude makes those customers assholes. They may be within their rights as customers, but they’re still assholes.

13

Nope. It works like this.

“Two for dinner?”

“No, we just want coffee, thanks.”

“I’m sorry, there’s a coffee shop just down the street. We’re serving dinner right now.”

OR:

“What can I get for you tonight?”

“I’ll just have a coffee, thanks.”

“Will you be ordering dinner as well?”

“No, just coffee.”

“I’m sorry, there is a coffee shop just down the street. We’re serving dinner right now.”
And D-Odds is right. Restaurants aren’t Wal-Mart. The customer isn’t always right. If a customer just wants a coffee, I’ll politely tell them that they’ll have to go elsewhere, end of story. That table is my bread and butter, and the ten cents I’ll make from that $1.50 espresso isn’t going to pay my bills. Unless you’re working at a horrible corporate chain, most restaurant managers will applaud their employees for strictly enforcing their own $5-10/person/hour rule during the dinner rush.

14

DrDeth and D_Odds,

You may debate who sets the rules but its plain to see that the rush hour “coffee only” customers are cutting the revenue of both the owners and staff.

15

Carlyjay, how do you feel about customers who make simple requests?

“I’d like the steak, but can you make half of that to go right away?”

“I’d like the fish and chips, but instead of chips could I have the (on the menu) smashed cauliflower instead?”

“I’d like the pepperoni pizza. I’ll pay for the full thing, but the staff can keep half.”

“I’d like the butter-encrusted cod, but can you make it with Promise Light instead?”

These are things I might request, though I’d be prepared to hear (and live with) a no to any of them.

How unreasonable are they?

16

Hear, hear.

And don’t feed me that crap about “But you’ve lost a return customer” etc etc. I’ve worked in enough places to know that the revenue gained from coffee-face’s nightly dinnertime coffees and occasional (at best) food orders will never make up for the revenue we’ll lose each night to his $1.50 hour-long coffee at a table for four.

Furthermore, the customer that doesn’t understand this, when they see that the restaurant is packed, is not a customer your average nice restaurant is dying to keep anyway.

17

As a restaurant kitchen staff, I’ll field this as best I can.

It depends. No, really, that’s the best answer I can give. Making half of your steak to go and half for here isn’t hard, we’ll just slice the damn thing in half (and we can make half a pizza, I guess…well, we can’t, because we don’t make pizza at our place, but a place that does probably can.) However, I just work at a generic chain restaurant that doesn’t have any kind of fancy head chef who takes pride in the dishes they invented, or anything. At places that have professionally trained kitchen staff, the odds increase that they won’t even do those simple things because they see the food they make as perfect the way it is, and if you want it differently, you’re an idiot for not liking their ‘perfect food.’ Is every chef like this? No, but certainly some are, and you really can’t tell which way it’s going to be until you try to make a special request, even one that’s not so hard.

Now, the Promise Light encrusted cod, that would be tricky. We keep in stock things we use, and we don’t use that, and my guess is most other places don’t use it either.

18

Some things shouldn’t need to be set forth explicitly. You should not go into a “nice” restaurant during the dinner rush and order just coffee. IMO, later on in the evening, maybe after seeing a movie, if you want to drop in someplace and have some dessert and coffee, that might be OK, though.

19

"I’d like the steak, but can you make half of that to go right away?"

Sure, if you’re willing to pay full price.

"I’d like the fish and chips, but instead of chips could I have the (on the menu) smashed cauliflower instead?"

Yes, but it may also say on the menu that this will cost 50 cents extra. Is that okay?

"I’d like the pepperoni pizza. I’ll pay for the full thing, but the staff can keep half."

That’s very kind of you. Of course. However, we can box it up for you instead, if you’d like to take it home.

"I’d like the butter-encrusted cod, but can you make it with Promise Light instead?"

If we have such a thing as “Promise Light”, and if it hasn’t been pre-encrusted. Otherwise, I’m afraid not.

Not unreasonable at all. A request for a simple modification on your dish is reasonable and often expected. Many people ask for a different sauce with their pasta, or no butter or dairy with their dish. Understood, and if it’s possible to accommodate you, we will. We get a little annoyed if you have 14 modifications on one dish, but we’ll still accommodate your requests with a smile if we can.

If, however, you become irate because we can’t supply you with a 12-oz dish of steamed squash with just-a-little-bit-of-pepper, and we don’t even have squash anywhere on the menu, you’d better expect a full-on eyebrow-raise and an “I’m sorry, but that isn’t on the menu. I’ll give you a few moments so you can read the menu and decide on a dish.”

20

Nope, don’t need a clearly stated policy. You should be able to tell any customer to leave the restaurant if they are just taking up a table and wasting people’s time.