Funny, I was thinking of commenting in referenced thread that the number of marriageable people I know was zero, because of me. I refrained, because it seemed close to a thread crap.
I’m not marriage material. I’m in my early 40s and will probably never get married. I might have a few multi-year relationships left (maybe) but I’m not actively looking for them. If I get really lucky, I could find someone to put up with me for the rest of my life (or hers) but I’m not pinning any hopes on the likelihood, nor would marriage be the goal for me.
Like Shagnasty, I openly admit to being pretty selfish and never being very enthusiastic about marriage to begin with. Unlike him, I was never interested in having children, which strikes out a huge percentage of the eligible marriage pool before you even get started. I’m not proud of any of that, it’s just who I am.
I have a lot of good qualities, too. I’m laid back, sociable and make people laugh. I treat everyone with respect unless they lose it and I’m pretty generous to everyone in my Monkeysphere and strangers I interact with, though I don’t do much in the way of anonymous charity. As far as I know, I don’t have an enemy in the world and would be shocked if anyone considered me an asshole. (Online opinions notwithstanding.)
I’m not a misogynist by any stretch of the imagination. I love women and wish I could find one compatible with me. I’m sure there are a few in the world, but finding them has proven difficult. I’m an outlier and not willing to change some things about myself that are less than desirable. I accept those as my own shortcomings and suffer the consequences.
I’m happily married so no. If anything about that changed, I doubt I would be marriageable. One of the main reasons the spouse and I get along so well is because we give each other space. Also, as a nerdy late-40s tomboy who refuses to do things like wear dresses/skirts and pretty much fails at “girl,” (not to mention my small herd of cats), I suspect I’d be doomed to nerdy crazy-cat-lady-gamer status if I ever became unexpectedly single.
The spouse and I both often express gratitude to each other that we don’t have to get anywhere near the dating scene.
I have a young child, so that makes things harder. I also intend to work abroad at some point, which narrows the pool. I’m also unfortunately not a great housekeeper. But I am a great cook, I’m mostly emotionally pretty put together, my finances are in line (though not anything to brag about) and I like to think I am fun to be around and a pretty good partner.
I guess I’m marriageable. I just got married about 10 months ago.
This used to be me. Also, I had some financial and personal messiness for a few years that I thought made me undateable, and definitely unmarriageable.
One day almost 3 years ago, being alone just wasn’t enough for me anymore. I’d gotten myself pulled together, and I found I really wanted to be in a long-term relationship. Still didn’t think I’d ever get married. I didn’t think I could ever live happily with anyone. But I wanted to have someone to share things with, someone I could turn to.
It took me six months and one false start, but I met a great guy. He definitely wasn’t the sort of person I pictured myself with originally. He certainly isn’t gorgeous or rich. But he is extremely kind, and funny, and intelligent. He too was kind of a loner who hadn’t had much success in the relationship department. But we just hit it off. I had never been so comfortable in the company of another person.
Two and a half months after we met, we moved in together. Six months after that, we were engaged. We were married 16 months after we met.
Is it perfect? Nope. No relationship is. We have our disagreements. Sometimes he drives me nuts, and vice versa. And I totally understand relationship pessimists like Shagnasty. I used to look at other peoples’ relationships and think, “That looks like hell. I couldn’t put up with that.” But my husband and I are both significantly happier together than we ever were apart. Our lives are so much richer. Our personalities complement each other very well. He can be annoying, but it’s the kind of annoying I can easily overlook.
I think “marriageable” is in the eye of the beholder. I doubt either of us would be considered a prize to too many other people. But to me, he’s gold, and I’m pretty sure the feeling is mutual.
No. The* “how come he has never married (or had a long-term live-in SO) at his age? there must be something very wrong with him” *disqualifier would buzz right off the bat. All my adult life it has been hard enough as it is to establish and sustain and grow regular ongoing relationships before one or the other bails, would probably be unbearable as a full-time cohabitant life partner.
I’m 57. I was happily single until age 29 and have been happily married since. I wouldn’t have wanted to be married when I was single, and vice versa. Should I find myself single again (heaven forbid), I’d have to find a way not to live alone because I’m not cut out for it, but there are lots of options to marriage (including simply having one or more housemates). I bet I’d find myself married again, not right away, but within a few years.
Marriage material just means you have stable, moderate-to-high income, and are not too attractive so as to invoke chronic attention from other females.
On the one hand, I’m married, so no. But on the other hand, this is Thailand, and I have yet to take a second wife (which has been illegal for about a century now but still does not stop lots of guys from doing it). So …
Hell no, women don’t want anything to do with me. I’ve been told by more women I was ugly straight to my face then have every said I was attractive. I haven’t had so much as a date in 10 years.
Well, by this definition I guess I am, but only in theory. In practice things are different.
