I am not one to OP link-and-run threads. But.
I just read this and found it very apropos since this seems to be a fairly common theme around here. Here is hoping this helps someone.
(this column is very out of character for its author who, as you can tell by his bio blurb at the bottom, is more often inclined to humor. The point is, take it lightly)
I’ve never even considered myself nice let alone too nice.
I honestly don’t know. In the broadest sense, I’m exactly who that link is about, but none of the details ring true.
Great article. It probably would be about me if I were male, but as it is I am female, well aware of my shortcomings, and amused at how many of my acquaintances need to hear this.
I think that article does indeed hit a lot of the highlights for guys who come here and complain they can’t get a woman because they’re too nice. The one he missed, though, is the sense of entitlement that sometimes shines through - like a woman is some kind of God-given right or reward. You do X, Y, and Z, and a woman magically appears.
I liked the “prithee” one. 
Nice to see that Lore Sjoberg is still working.
…and possibly reading SDMB ‘nice guy’ threads™. There was a spate of them a few months ago.
As I meant to mention in the last thread on this: a sense of entitlement doesn’t really seem to stop any of the guys I know that actually get a lot of dates. They always have an overly inflated view of their attractiveness, and expect to find someone. The difference seems to be that the [not-so] “nice guy” actually thinks he entitled to a certain girl, something that actually was covered in the article.
Also, the only flaw I seem to still have is the last one. It’s less that I’m actually desperate, as it is that my nervousness comes off as such. But it is hard to be in a culture where the mean age of marriage seems to be like 19 or so, and I’m at 25. The only single people I meet are divorced, and the only ones that seem to like me have kids*, and I’m not ready for that. So, when I find someone that doesn’t fit that mold, it’s difficult not to try too hard.
*And I mean that s. The most recent prospect has 5.
ETA: My bigger problem is coming off as liking women when I don’t, or at least am not interested in pursuing a relationship at that time. It seems hard for me to make female friends on purpose.
And my only flaw is my crippling over-attractiveness (it’s intimidating).
The article was funny and rang true to me regarding many of my friends- especially the parts about misplaced “chivalry” and a refusal to become sexual.
a) For some reason, you think “nice” means “completely devoid of sexual energy" — close enough. I’ll quibble elsewhere.
b) you actually mean you’re trying to figure out what this one specific woman you’re friends with…wants — naah. I mean, sometimes, sure, but not exclusively.
c) Somehow you think that treating all women as freely interchangable mentally damaged goods — nope, not even.
d) You practice some sort of demented Hollywood version of chivalry —uh uh, I’m more the bitter and unchivalrous “total equality between the sexes” type
e) All these nice, thoughtful things you do for women you have crushes on, do you do them for your friends whose panties you don’t want to chew off? — Yeah, actually, I’m a thoughtful & compassionate listener to people of all sexes ages and orientations.
f) searing, blinding desperation — Only until I became an angry bitter “totally equality between the sexes” type
A-friggin-men. This is the number one problem I see with “nice guys”. They’re panty sniffers of the worst sort, not “nice”, but stalkerish! It’s creepy and offputting.
(Similarly, and this is specific to my subculture, men who blather on about their love for the Goddess and respect for women only when they want to get into my tent, or her tent, or maybe her tent…not sexy. We’re not your muse, We’re not your goddess incarnate, We’re human beings and individual people. Thanks.)
No, I am not nice, just stupid.
(Actually I think I am a nice person overall. Generosity is one of the virtues I most admire in others, and I try hard and to some effect to be generous myself. I’m just an utter idiot re women.)
Another subset of these – which is where I spend most of my teenage years – is the “You put women on a pedestal” category. I consider myself pretty fortunate that I grew out of that phase without a) getting my heart broken by some girl I secretly worshiped but who didn’t know I existed; or, even worse, b) becoming a slave to the will of some manipulative little minx who would send me gleefully scurrying after her every whim. Because I was a prime candidate for either scenario.
Is it any wonder that I start reaching for a blade and whetstone every time my 11 year-old daughter says the word “boyfriend?”
Something I think I need to add to my post above: When you don’t know how to deal with certain people, you aren’t actually nice to them. Unfortunately.
Quoting my own definition of the “Nice Guy” from a previous thread on this subject, because I don’t think the article in the OP quite covers it all:
+1. I miss the Brunching Shuttlecocks. What else has he been up to?
Here is a thorough collection of writings about “Nice Guys.”
I dated a guy who fit Jennyrosity’s post to a T. Once. He totally creeped me out.
What amazes me the most of this “nice guy” syndrome is the “I love you so you owe me love back”. Plus, if I had 98 cents for every song I have heard on that theme, iTunes would owe me money. So it isn’t something weird and rare, it is mainstream.
The whole love as currency bit is just so misguided that it would almost be funny. Nobody asked you to “love” that person. There is no contract that stipulates that they owe you some payment in kind. Love that demands repayment is not love. It is just some oddball form of blackmail to suck people into a relationship they didn’t want in the first place.
The funny bit is that if it works (and it does on occasion) it just means that the target is also so messed up in the head that it is only fair that Mr Nice Guy gets stuck with another psycho just like him.
This article is funny. I’ll have to get this off to my brother…