I clicked on this thread because I thought it said “area Jarbaby condoms Coworker…”
I can see getting a little randy now and then, but isn’t “thirty days in the hole” a bit much?
I don’t understand the “area” thing either.
If I had to work with this dude, I’d suggest he start “acting” like an office guy and fill the fucking toner. It’ll be good practice.
Well, Twisty explained it, but I guess I’ll explain it again. “area” is used in news headlines to emphasize that a story is happening locally:
Area Woman Makes Flag Cake
(Woman in our town made a flag cake)
I am a jarbaby in the area. I condemned this actor to thirty days in the hole.
I may extend the sentence since yesterday he said:
“ever have one of those rehearsals where the character just won’t crawl to you? You just can’t grasp it?”
Let me see if I’ve got this right:
*Chicago drama queen, talkin’ 'bout the industreeee
The toner ain’t full ‘cause of this moanin’ fool… talkin’ ‘bout the birthin’ proceeesse!
The birthin’ proceesse, it’s got ya weak in your knees
‘Ya give your life to it too, and it’s made you a fool… and Jarbaby gives her decree!
THIRTY DAYS IN THE HOLE! THIRTY DAYS IN THE HOLE!*
My apologies to Steve Marriott
You should start giving him notes on everything he does. Write them on post-its and stick them to his stuff.
examples:
Your motivation for using the copier was not very clear. Think about why someone in your position would be using the copier. How can you make that clear by your actions?
Where is your center?
You dropped a line in the afternoon meeting.
Also, start throwing in your own jargon whenever possible. If he sets up chairs for a meeting, ask him if he wants you to help him strike. Use US, DS, SL, and SR instead of directions.
People like him are what Christopher Guest movies are made for.
some points for yon drama queen:
-
Getting ready for a performance does indeed take a lot of energy.
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It doesn’t take so much energy that you can’t change the toner.
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Furthermore, everyone knows it takes energy, so there’s no need to cry about it. This is what you want to do. This is what you do for fun, and if you’re lucky you can get paid for it. So why are you complaining? You think your life sucks now, just imagine working in an office and NOT being able to work on your art. Now shut the fuck up and change the fucking toner.
jarbabyj, just what the hell is up with your name?
Is it short for jarbaby the Hutt?
Or are you a baby in a jar? If so, how do you get your keyboard in there? Are you like a genie? Do you get special powers? If you do, do you use them for good, or awesome? (been wanting to rip that off for ages… thank you Strongbad).
I’m not pitting actors in general here. Actors on both stage and screen have given me some truly great moments in my life.
But. . . one of the things I do here at work is hire temps. We use a fair number of temporary secretaries and word processors. We pay $25-$30 per hour, which, even in New York City, is not bad bread.
And some of them spend all day talking to people (even to me, and I clearly don’t want to hear about it) about the “process” and the “craft” and how exhausted they are. Then they spend half the day faxing head shots and resumes all over town, and the other half on the phone to friends and agents and god only knows who.
I’ve had to actually throw a few of them out before lunchtime, because they simply did no work whatsoever.
Sounds like Jarbaby’s guy is in this category.
IIRC, it has something to do with having Brett Favre’s baby.
From my website=
My name is jarbabyj. The j stands for my real name, the jarbaby stands for the nightmare I had wherein I gave birth to Brett Favre’s baby and kept it in a jar because I was wrought with shame.
It has nothing to do with Jar Jar Binks.
I’d pay good money to see this. Seriously.
I have no idea where you guys find these theatre people. I’m in a production right now and the only “jargon” I hear is “I know I’m a lead and all but I have 234 more conflicts that I never told you about, so I can’t make any of the rehearsals and 2 of the performances. Is that going to be a problem?”
Project, damn you!
Projeeeeeect!
Just when you think you’ve heard it all… someone puts Brett Favre’s baby in a bottle.
Can you imagine how much the Dolphins would pay for that kid?
Well you better tell your co-stars to commence with the bitchin’ or no one will take 'em seriously!! 
An actor’s a guy who, if you ain’t talking about him, he ain’t listening.
- Marlon Brando
No, that’s politicians.
I’m assuming that $25-$30 figure is what you’re paying the agency, right? I’m not saying they should be faxing headshots all around on your time, but the temps themselves are probably making about half that amount.
Only if she was using Thalidomide.
Flipper, Flipper, faster than light-ning!
Oh, and actors are cattle. Everyone knows that.