gawd.
Aren’t men the worst? Always leaving the toilet seat up? It’s like they don’t even care!
And just once, on a Sunday, why can’t he take me out for a nice lunch or to a museum instead of watching his precious sports???
Sheesh
Why wont he just give me the damned remote control every once in awhile…
…Is that too much to ask!!!
Well, if you’d quit bitching at me about hanging the damn curtains and mowing the lawn this weekend, maybe I wouldn’t get so pissed and repay you by camping out on the couch all weekend.
And don’t get me started about your ass in those jeans, woman.
How can you have so many shoes? And look at the prices! How can a pair of shoes cost $700?!?
And does it really take that much effort to take the extra 3 steps to dump his dirty shorts in the laundry basket?
Jeesh.
We have driven past that homeless man FIVE times now!!!
Why can’t you just stop and ask for directions?
Please!
I’m trying to get close, but, Jesus, would it kill her to lose the pepper spray?
Look, I picked up the pads on the way home like you asked. Don’t tell me they’re the wrong kind! There’s sixteen different varieties for Gods’ sake! If you’d wanted the midi pad without wings but with a side order of fries you should have told me!
Let me see if I can pull up some quotes to establish context:
jarbaby’s thread on the All Dreamy FOOTBALL Teamy
jarbaby’s thread about John Madden / Pat Summerall porn
jarbaby’s thread about How To Call In To A Radio Sports Show
jarbaby’s thread analyzing week 1 of this season
And the coup de grace, her thread on Chris Fowler of ESPN College Gameday, who is hotter than liquid fuck, who can wear a suit to hell and back, and she’d ride him blind.
I’m just saying, if jarhubby isn’t watching football, what kind of sports IS he watching? And why don’t you make him watch football? Jesus, woman! Make the guy some chicken wings, get him a case of beer, maybe a blowjob at halftime – he’d probably watch football WITH you if you made it worth his while!
If you are pissed off, just friggin’ tell me. Don’t give me this “If you don’t understand, I’m not going to tell you.” crap.
So I forgot the date of our anniversary. That doesn’t mean I don’t love you. [sub]Actually, the Missus keeps messing up the anniversary date.[/sub]
Would it kill you to *rinse your dish off so I don’t have to spend 20 minutes scrubbing one freakin’ plate!
Dammit! I have to remember that preview is my friend.
And you’re always out with your buddies, drinking beer and yukking it up while I sit at home and slave to make this home livable.
And I can’t remember the last time you said, “Honey, I love you”
What do you mean, headache? Come on…
I don’t give a damn if the shower curtain matches the toilet-seat-cover. Quit asking me already. And what is that friggin’ shrine you have on the toilet tank? It comes complete with basket, candles, burnt offerings, graven idols…Is that the mythical porcelein god or something?
No, sweetie…Your ass makes your ass look fat, not the jeans.
While I am driving, thou shalt not touch the radio. If I am in the car, I will be driving. The only thing worse than woman drivers is being a passenger with one…
Why are you so bitchy today?? PMS is your problem, not mine. Jeez…
WHY DON’T YOU JUST SPEAK ENGLISH??? I mean, what is this “You should know the right answer by now” crap?
Listen, missy. Get your bitch-ass back in the kitchen, and make me some pie.
Gee honey, I really enjoyed those three strokes, now why don’t you roll over and let a pro take over?
Why do you act like you need to have sex EVERY week? I mean, we’re married now - you’re not supposed to still be a sex maniac!
“Either outfit is fine.”
“Wear the pumps or the slingbacks… doesn’t matter.”
“The dangley gold earrings and the pearl earrings both look fine.”
“I can’t tell the difference between ‘rose plum’ and ‘deep mauve’ nailpolish.”
“No, there isn’t any lipstick on your teeth.”
“I haven’t seen your ‘light tan sandalfoot’ pantyhose.”
“It really doesn’t matter which scarf.”
“I’ll be glad to ‘zip you up’.”
“Leave the cellphone at HOME if it doesn’t fit in your tiny purse!”
“Okay, I’ll carry the cellphone in my jacket…mumble-grumble.”
“Yes, the diamond pendant is more stylish than the gold beads.”
“My colgone? Raw vanilla… it’s ALWAYS Raw vanilla”.
.
and…
.
“Yes, I really AM going to wear this!”
Don’t mind the ladies guys, it’s “that time of the month.”
I don’t know why I spend money on a nice mat for the bathroom floor; you don’t even bother to aim for the toilet.
Oh, no, Honey, I’m not really hungry. I’ll just have a bite of yours.
By the way, I used your razor. I didn’t figure you’d mind.
What are you thinking about?
You never tell me I’m pretty.
Did the foreplay happen before I came in the room?
(Notice my tongue firmly in my cheek. I looove a jarbaby thread!)
Yes, I know this flannel shirt is a ratty old thing. But cripes, it’s the most comfortable thing I own.
And when I tinker around on the workbench, YES I make noise. And YES I make a mess. And YES I am a TOOL GOD.
If that cat of yours sits on my recliner ONE MORE TIME, I’m gonna pick it up and throw it out the door.
Geez, what are you, bloated or something?