Oh, and while I’m at it…
When I’m playing my computer games, I don’t want to have to carry on a conversation about you & what we ought to get your mom for Christmas.
And for God sakes, you don’t have to cry about it.
Chicks.
How long has the oil light been on?
What’s wrong with the curtains we’ve got?
Hey, you didn’t need to make anything fancy for me. Meat and potatoes is fine.
[sup]*[/sup]You counted my shoes?!?! You counted my SHOES. Well! - How DARE you?!?!?!
Don’t you come near me - if you don’t know what’s wrong, then I’m not even going to TALK TO YOU!
[sub]*actual conversation overheard between my parents… At least I come by my shoe thing honestly…[/sub]
And it really annoys me when you…oh wait, I’m single! Bwahahaha, heh heh, ahahaha! ho hoo! Yeah!
[sub]I’m so lonely.[/sub] 
In a minute…
Yes, of course I’m listening. You said something about your feelings, or something.
When I ask you out on a date, either say “Yes” and then show up, or say “No.”
If you say “Yes” and actually mean it then don’t leave 10 minutes before I arrive early to pick you up to go shopping with your horrible girlfriend whom you hate.
Don’t invite me over for Thanksgiving dinner with you and your daughter and then leave town for three days without so much as a whisper in my direction.
And don’t get mad and ask me “Why won’t you talk to me anymore?” two days after I explained quite clearly to you that I don’t appreciate being stood up repeatedly.
Yes. There are many “damn sexy” women in the world.
No. I do not want to hear about them. I am fully aware that I am not a supermodel thankyouverymuch!
I think I hurt something laughing at this.
Sorry, Dale.
Look, I quit doing that in 1993. You don’t have to remind me that I used to do it. You don’t have to keep checking to make sure I don’t do it again. You don’t have to mention that you always hated that I ever did it because I quit doing it in 1993 when you finally got around to telling me that it really bothered you and asked me to quit doing it. Okay?
In a minute…
Tell you what - I’ll hit the laundry basket with my undies if you’ll stop hanging yours from the shower curtain.
What do you mean, you forgot to take your Pill?
How can I meet your needs if:
a)you won’t give me the list?
b)it’s subject to change without notice?
[hijack]
**alice{/b], how can a pair of shoes cost $700? I’m not condemning, I just don’t understand.
[/hijack]
Well, I said that they were REALLY nice…
You said that four days ago. Just how long is this particular minute going to last?
How the hell can you not have anything to wear? You commendeered half of your son’s closet for clothes space, in addition to both walk-ins, three dressers, the linen closet, most of the attic and DAMN! you have five pairs of shoes in the garage!
IN THE GARAGE!!!
Look, you know I’m busy. I don’t really need to hear what Sally did yesterday. Would you just get to the point?
For crying out loud, would you just remember that preview is your friend?
And Christ almighty, whatever you want to wear is fine. I do not care. When I look at you I’m not looking at your clothes anyway.
Let’s GO!!! How long does it take to get dressed, anyway?
No, don’t clean my workbench. I know where everything is.
Shut up, we’re not lost.
For GOD’S SAKE, I said I’d do it IN A MINUTE!!!
Chee-zus, maybe I’d be better about doing things around the house if you’d quit RIDIN’ MY ASS all the damn time.
Gonna last until I’m by-god good and ready to do it. Or until I’m done doing the hundred-and-fifty OTHER little piss-ant busy-work jobs you keep assigning me to do.
Damn, lady, can’t I get ten minutes to myself every once in a while?
Ladies, if you’re in too much of a hurry to check the toilet seat, you probably needed to get dunked anyway!