With apologies to Joel Cohen and his sources who proved the following theorem for Alexander the Great, I present a proof that God does not exist and that God has an infinite number of limbs.
http://www.fortfreedom.org/b19.htm
This proof works only for the Christian God. A generalization for all other gods is left as an exercise for the reader.
THE PEJORATIVE CALCULUS
Lemma 1. All horses are the same color (by induction).
Proof. It is obvious that one horse is the same color. Let us assume the proposition P(k) that k horses are the same color and use this to imply that k + 1 horses are the same color. Given the set of k + 1 horses, we remove one horse; then the remaining k horses are the same color, by hypothesis. We remove another horse and replace the first; the k horses, by hypothesis, are again the same color. We repeat this until by exhaustion the k + 1 sets of k horses have each been shown to be the same color. It follows then that since every horse is the same color as every other horse, P(k) entails P(k + 1). But since we have shown P(1) to be true, P is true for all succeeding values of k, that is, all horses are the same color.
Corollary 1. Everything is the same color.
Proof. The proof of lemma 1 does not depend at all on the nature of the object under consideration. The predicate of the antecedent of the universally-quantified conditional For all x, if x is a horse, then x is the same color,' namely is a horse’ may be generalized to is anything' without affecting the validity of the proof; hence, for all x, if x is anything, x is the same color.
Corollary 2. Everything is white.
Proof. If a sentential formula in x is logically true, then any particular substitution instance of it is a true sentence. In particular then: for all x, if x is an elephant, then x is the same color' is true. Now it is manifestly axiomatic that white elephants exist (for proof by blatant assertion consult Mark Twain The Stolen White Elephant’). Therefore all elephants are white. By corollary 1 everything is white.
Theorem 2. God does not exist and he has an infinite number of limbs.
Proof. We prove this theorem in two parts. First we note the obvious fact that preachers always tell the truth (for preachers always take a stand, and therefore they cannot lie). Hence we have the true sentence, `If God exists then he made the Nile turn red. But, we know by corollary 2 everything is white; hence God could not have turned the Nile red, even with help from Moses. Since the consequent of the conditional is false, in order for the whole statement to be true, the antecedent must be false. Hence God does not exist.
Preachers also tell us that Jesus is God and that Jesus has two legs. Jesus is omniscient and thus forewarned. It is axiomatic that `forewarned is four-armed.’ This gives him six limbs, an even number, which is certainly an odd number of limbs for a man or god. Now the only number which is even and odd is infinity; hence God has an infinite number of limbs. We have thus proved that God did not exist and that he has an infinite number of limbs.