At closing time, do they just hit the ‘Peristaltic Motion’ switch?
You’re all so outtahere!
Wow…a few Arkansan Dopers! Stonebow and I are just a few minutes north of the Giant Colon. That puts us somewhere in the large intestine, right? 
FB
And now we know where all those people who go into Sunnydale’s “Hell Mouth” come out…
My first Doper Field ReportTM
Ok, lately my almost four year-old has really taken an interest in the human body. In our garage we have a bookshelf with some old books left over from college with one of those books being Gray’s Anatomy. The little guy saw it one day, grabbed the book, wagged it into the house, and begged me to read it to him. I convinced him it was not really the kind of book to read to an almost four year-old but that we could look at the pictures. His eyes widened as we flipped through the pages of various body parts.
“is that a finger?”
“no, that’s a rib”
“is that a finger?”
“no that’s a leg-bone
“is that a finger?”
“no that’s your throat”
“is that a finger?”
“no…look here is the finger, anything else in the whole book it not a finger”
*“is that a leg?” *
“no, that’s a bone in your ear called the stirrup”
“is that a leg?”
“no, that’s your stomach”
“is that a leg?”
“no that’s called the fallopian tubes”
“is that a leg?”
“no, that’s your wrist”
“is that a leg?”
“wanna read Bear in the Big Blue House?”
Anyway, when I saw this thread on Friday and read An Arky’s comments I decided he would really like this so I drug out Gray’s Anatomy again.
“Look here, this thing is your colon and it is right here (pointing to his abdomen) today we are going to see one of these that is really big”
- “is it real?”*
“no but it’s like a real one only bigger, and we can crawl through it”
“I don’t want to crawl through it, I’m scared”
“no it’s not scary, it is fun, like Six Flags”
“It’s a ride?”
“no, lets just get in the van and go”
So we get in the mini-van and head on down to the river market. We get there and find the Colossal Colon in all of its grandeur. The exhibit is designed to educate the public about the dangers of colon cancer and other colon conditions as well as inform them of the necessity for screening and regular checkups. The whole thing was staffed by a mix if health care professionals, colon cancer survivors (or people with other colon conditions), and young attractive women who must have either been doing this for college credit or were maybe in nursing school.
You enter the exhibit at one end and receive an information packet and then proceed thorough several ‘checkpoints’ where you get your ‘passport’ stamped and get additional information (and look at young attractive women who must have either been doing this for college credit or were maybe in nursing school). You then get a chance to put on a pair of blue shoe covers (foot-condoms?) and ENTER THE COLOSSAL COLON. The colon is about 4” in diameter so you have to crawl. It has openings throughout to let light in and to let people from the outside look inside. The whole thing is basically a 40’ fiberglass replica of a human colon with various maladies; ulcerative colitis, polyps, pre-cancerous polyps, etc… depicted inside. (some photos from the website). As you crawl out you removed your blue shoe covers and handed them to the young attractive woman who must have either been doing this for college credit or was maybe in nursing school carefully inspecting her legs and admiring her sexy feet with pretty painted toen… <smack> Oh, wait I’m sorry, back now.
You then proceeded from the colon to a few more ‘checkpoints’ where you learned about the various types of colon tests available and could watch a video of how to do the tests or watch a colonoscopy being done (Bobby Hill came to mind here). The whole thing culminated in a station where cancer survivors urged you to get appropriate checkups and told you how important screening and checkups were. Last you went to the final ‘checkpoint’ where you filled out a ‘pledge card’ that said you would agree to talk about colon health at your next visit with your current health care provider.
All-in-all it was informative and well thought out. There was even a game geared towards kids that allowed them to play while sort of learning about risk factors and healthy habits. “The Colossal Colon is the creation of Molly McMaster, a 26-year-old cancer survivor, with help and support from the clinical and educational staff of the C.R. Wood Cancer Center at Glens Falls Hospital in Glens Falls, N.Y. The Colon is dedicated to the memory of Molly’s friend, Amanda Sherwood Roberts, who lost her battle with colon cancer at age 27.” (from the website linked above)
So…
Not exactly, if you get all of your passport stamped you do get a frisbee though!
I only saw the foot-condoms being offered. I should have asked one of the young attractive women who must have either been doing this for college credit or were maybe in nursing school about condom usage.
No stated dress requirement but judging by the rest of the people there the clothing of choice was either suburbanite soccer-mom, or tye-dye wearin’, banjo playin’, no shoes, burnt-out, dope smoker, hipee.
NP: Dark Tranquility - Haven
Pity it’s not one of those where air pressure keeps it inflated.