Got a bit of a late start on this, due in no part by missing the previews because I wasn’t able to see JAG for the past eight months or so (don’t ask…). And of course they had to run this at the same time as Survivor. You know, whatever your opinion of CBS’s reality programming, you have to admit that they don’t know a damn thing about timing. Can’t this be a regular annual or semiannual deal? You know, so I don’t have to comb through the TV listings with a fine-tooth comb every damn week? (You have any idea how big that thing is now?)
Ah, well…at any rate, they’re off and running. The obligatory sacrifical lambs have been disposed of, and it looks like one more is about to follow. And the fights, accidents, bad breaks, and alliances (is it possible to build any appreciable alliance over one episode??) have already begun. It’s unpredictable. It’s loopy. It’s, at times, downright insane.
Buckle up, folks, 'cause it’s been two stages and already this one’s even wilder than the first.
The contenders:
1st (but used a Fast Forward): Shola & Doyin. A pair of twin-brother independent contractors who couldn’t have less in common. Or so they say. They’ve suffered quite a bit physically in the second stage (including the volleyball game where they won the Fast Forward), and with no time to rest up, it’ll be a challenge for them to go very far.
2nd: Chris & Alex. Best buddies with “a million miles” under their belts. An early favorite, but blundered by making an “alliance” with somone (I think it was Tara and Wil). They seem to have their stuff together and should last a while.
3rd: Tara & Wil, who divorced after three months but still have to work together in a furniture store. You’d think that this would scream “Lenny & Karen-esque meltdown”, but it hasn’t really bothered them yet. Stay tuned.
4th: Mary & Peach. Two polar-opposite sisters, one of whom never even strapped on a backpack before the race. Yeah, this is gonna work out great. (Actually, I think it has so far; I’m just waiting to see if one or the other is going to snap, same as Tara and Wil.)
5th: Gary & Dave, who are already making Kevin & Drew look like friggin’ marine scouts. Get this…they’re marginally employed at best, they’ve made no bones about the fact that they do not like each other at all, and their main motivation for entering a spectacular around-the-world race is they need the money. The second stage, particularly the beach fiasco (got absolutely creamed in the Fast Forward challenge, then took the hopeless path of the detour and wasted a lot of time searching uselessly for the route marker) was revealing.
And guess what…they’re in the thick of it, and woe betide any fool who underestimates them. Somehow, there’s something about the pathetic, hopeless cases with absolutely nothing to lose that makes them extremely dangerous in a contest like this. Maybe it’s the that they know failure is not an option; maybe it’s that they’re use to life’s hard knocks and can shake off the indignities of clueless taxi drivers or unreliable maps. Whatever the reason, what worked for Kevin & Drew is working for them. A great fun-to-watch team that’s already becoming one of my favorites.
6th: Cyndi & Russell. They’re religious folk. They don’t travel a lot. That’s pretty much all you need to know. Note especially Cyndi in the samba house. She was able to suck it up and get what she needed then, but I have to wonder how long it’s going to be before the unbridled splendor of the world cracks them like walnuts. This contest, as everyone who’s watched the first one knows, does not give a damn about your silly hang-ups; if you have to walk through a temple crawling with rats, rappel down a 600-foot cliff, or enter a dance floor full of women in thong bikinis, you do it. I just can’t see them going the distance no matter what.
7th: Oswald & Danny. Don’t really know much about them so far except that they’re the best of buddies.
8th: Peggy and Claire. The new Team Annoying Nickname (“Grandmothers with Guts”) or some junk. They’re old, slow, and still alive only because someone else was even slower. I wouldn’t get too attached with them if I were you.
Little editorial: I can’t remain neutral on this. I think it STINKS that they’re in it. I’m not “agist” or anything, but the race does require a certain amount of physical ability, and this pair can barely run 50 yards (even admitted this much during the hang-gliding preparation). They’ve been hanging on by their fingernails from the very beginning, not exactly the inspiring example CBS is trying to make them out as. When Kevin & Drew pulled it together and nearly made the final 3, that was inspiring. When Peggy and Claire sleepwalk through two stages and are genuinely astonished to discover that they weren’t burned, it’s almost embarrassing. When a major TV network sends you all over the world and puts gives you national exposure, as far as I’m concerned, you’d better at least give a decent effort, and it’s disheartening to see the Nickname Gals take up a slot which could’ve gone to a more deserving team.
9th: Blake & Paige. A brother/sister tandem that entered the race because “they want to see the world”…usually a recipe for disaster. Sure enough, Blake lost his wallet just before he had to buy bus tickets, and only the generosity of passers-by (gee, I hope CBS was at least kind enough to recompense them) saved him from disaster. They’re a nice enough couple, but that’s certainly not enough to win this race. We’ll see.
Aside: I really, really hope this whole expereince doesn’t tear them apart, as reality TV is wont to do. As somone who’s had a wonderful relationship with his sister for the longest time, I know how special that is, and it’d be a shame if it ever broke up.
