I am so sorry for what you are going through with your older dog (I’m going through the same thing with my oldest cat) but I had to laugh at that. I can only imagine the look on your husband’s face!
My two-year-old comes running into the room naked as a jaybird, frequently. And he’s especially proud that he can pee on the floor. Apparently, it’s cool to stand up and pee like Daddy does (although Daddy at least pees in or around the toilet).
But now, he’s helping my barely-one-year-old in removing his clothes and diaper. So whenever I hear, “Baby! Pee-Pee!”, I just grab another handful of paper towels.
Back to the OP: That’ll teach you to match wits with a two-year old. They are far wilier than we grown-ups.
Just like chimps who, though much smaller than we, have super-human strength, so toddlers who, though much less mentally mature than we, have superhuman drive to acheive their goal. They have no distractions, no alternative plans, no “on the other hand” …
They’re just a whole human brain fixated on one Pure Platonic Form of an Idea: “I want ___ and I’m gonna get it/do it.”
You don’t stand a chance. Good thing they’'re small and have bad hand-eye coordination or we’d all be dead.
When my brother was around two, he tied his crib sheet/blankets in knots, threw them over the side of the crib, and climbed out. That’s when my mom decided it was time for him to have a big kid bed.
We used to put the sleepers on backward and diaper-pin them shut through the little zipper pull hole… he figured that out, so now we use packing tape around the diaper. He is only in a diaper while he sleeps, and I hope to Og that this potty training thing catched on for bedtime before he figures out how to get out of the taped diapers.
My cousin had one of those - though in her case it was potty training karma.
Her first child (a boy! we all know how much harder boys are to train) trained at just two. Her second before she was two. Sue knew what she was doing in teaching kids to potty train, she had a system that was 100% effective at getting kids out of diapers before or shortly after two. If I needed advice on potty training, I should call my cousin and use her technique.
The third was a shit smearer until almost four
Never take too much credit for your kids.
My daughter wasn’t much of a nudist, and (thank goodness) wasn’t at all interested in having tactile fun with her excretions (in fact, she pretty much potty-trained herself at 16 months). Her thing was super-mobility. She rolled over at 6 days old. She crawled at three months. She walked at eight months. When she was 11 months old, I had to buy her a toddler bed because she’d taken to flinging herself over the side of her crib. And stealthy? Oh yeah. I barely slept for three years because she thought nothing of wandering OUT OF THE HOUSE if no one was around and awake to amuse her. She figured out every child lock ever made, and once built a pile of cushions to climb on so that she could reach the deadbolt.
She’s sixteen now, and trying harder than ever to escape. I only hope that she still wants out this bad when she’s eighteen! 
I only take credit on the good stuff.
The bad stuff is her Daddy’s fault.
Did I mention she really isn’t talking yet, but can mimic our italian greyhound perfectly?
Whynot, I was pregnant when your daughter was born, as she was born so early she is really about the same age as mine. I love your stories, in fact I love hearing what other children Mighty_Toddler’s age are doing, kinda reassuring.
My daughter went through that stage last September (I just checked the date on those photos). She wound undress and piss on the floor, then call me screaming because she already knew how slippery our floor is, so I had to come move her. It wasn’t funny. She later seemed to lose interest in it.
The problem now is that I have a kid that is certain she knows best. ‘No’ is her favorite word, even when she really means ‘yes’. And now daddy gets blamed for everything she does.
'Who made a mess?!"
“daddy!”
As I’ve always said: She’s just small, not stupid.
When my husband was watching our daughter as a toddler, he’d very carefully dress her and send her outside to play. In a few minutes, she’d knock on the door, and hand him her clothes. Or he’d wander outside himself, and find her getting a suntan all over. Toddlers just really don’t see much point in clothes.
When my hubby was little (five and under, I guess), he’d leave the house fully clothed, and go off riding around the neighborhood on his tricycle, come home stark naked, and his mom would have to go chasing all over the neighborhood to find his clothes! 
So any nudist tendencies my kids have, they come by naturally.
Oh, man, it’s so nice to have Funny Kid stories that are just like everyone else’s. I mean, it was funny when at her last check up by the developmental clinic of her neonatal hospital, she couldn’t identify a picture of a chocolate chip cookie as “cookie” because cookies in our house are animal or graham crackers. Then she looked bewildered at “Feed the doll some ice cream,” but eagerly picked up the spoon when I suggested yogurt - but really, starting any story with, “So, she was born four months early, so every so often we have to get her brain checked out to make sure she’s suddenly not going to turn into a vegetable - not that there’s anything we could do about it -” just sort of takes the damper off the party, y’know?
I know we’re none of us ever “out of the woods” as parents, but every “normal” kid story I get to tell inches me a little further towards accepting that maybe, possibly, we’re going to make it unscathed from the preemie thing.
I did the cut-the-feet off a pair of (conveniently) too short zip up pajamas last night. (My older son watched me and said, “Well why don’t they just make them all with zippers in the back to start with?” He’s pretty smart, too.) Perfect really - now they’ll fit for a whole 'nother season, they’ll be slightly cooler for summer yet still cover her (she won’t keep a blanket on) AND it was wonderful not to brace myself as I opened her bedroom door this morning.
I didn’t give her a graham cracker, though. Nor did she ask.
Just to make all you parents of toddlers feel better, one of my ads is for “Teen Nudist”! :eek:
I am sitting here feeling very, very grateful that although both my kids were too stubborn to toilet train before 4, neither was a nudist or a diaper artist. Although my son at 4 went through quite a sleepwalking phase, and one memorable night I caught him just as he walked into his sister’s room, dropped trou, and was ready to pee on her as she slept peacefully.