Overall, I have a pretty good life, and I wouldn’t want to trade it. But right now, I feel like running away.
The kids are adorable and I’m very lucky that they are healthy. But my daughter went from being a sweet, agreeable little 2-year-old to a temper-tantrum-throwing, obstinate 3-year-old who won’t do a thing anyone asks her to do. My son is a happy, laughing baby, but he’s an eating machine and won’t sleep through the night…I still am waking up twice an night to feed him (he’s 4 months old now). Which wouldn’t be TOO bad, except I’ve been back at work for a month, and I am like a zombie from lack of sleep.
Plus, we are going through potty training with the 3-year-old, which is currently not going very well, and the preschool she is starting in 2 weeks requires it. Not sure what I’m going to do about that situation.
My house is kind of a disaster right now, because between working and the kids, I don’t have the time or energy to pick toys up constantly.
And the crowning blow is that the weight I gained with this pregnancy seems want to hang around permanently…I only gained maybe a size, but it’s enough to ensure that 1/2 my clothes don’t fit at all, and the other 1/2 look like crap on me.
I’m sorry to bitch, because I know that a lot of people have real problems, and this is all just annoyances that will go away (except for the 10 pounds…I think I just have to get used to that!) But I am just feeling sorry for myself right now.
Awwww. I remember being there. I don’t know why they talk about the terrible 2’s. Three is where they start to find out how to be truly a pain in the butt.
Can you get her excited about preschool? Maybe visit for an hour or so and let her see all the cool stuff and the kids. Explain that she needs to be a big kid and use the bathroom, though, and take her on a big-girl underwear expedition.
Sorry about the lack of sleep, too. We stopped night feedings cold turkey at 6 months, on the advice of our excellent pediatrician. She said they would just adjust to it and didn’t really need to eat at night by that age. It only took one short bout of crying it out for both our kids and ever since they’ve beed really good sleepers.
I finally went to Weight Watchers when I went back up to almost my 9 month pregnancy weight. It worked like a charm and got me out of the house for a while on Saturday morning, too.
Maybe they will be understanding at the preschool. When my daughter turned 2, they put her in the older room and the sight of her “peers” peeing in the potty inspired her to do it pretty much immediately.
I know how you feel on the other issues, too. I was just saying last night that based on how the previous houses I have lived in were laid out, I had either more or less toys scattered to hell and back. If you can contain them to a nearby room, it’s much easier than the playroom being your living room. You just end up putting the same things away over and over and over again.
As for the weight, can you spare time for yoga? While I still have some weight to lose, I found it toned me up so much that most clothes look pretty OK on me – despite the fact that I’m nearly 15 pounds from my normal weight.
My daughter just turned three and she’s becoming more obstinate too. She’s been potty trained, fully, for months now but was resisting pulling up her undies and pants afterwards. She’s starting preschool in two weeks too, so I kept impressing on her that her teacher will be so proud of her, that she can do all this by herself. I think it helped that I have a 10 yr old, though. The little one is so excited about being able to ride the school bus and go to school like her sister that she’s eager to do almost anything.
Taking her to her new classroom and letting her explore it one day helped her to get excited about going to school.
Gee, luci, you always know how to cheer me up! If I thought the democrats could get the kid potty trained, I’d vote for them!
Thanks for all the support, everyone…it’s always good to hear that others go through these things. The potty training is probably the thing that’s pushing me over the edge…she was pretty much trained a while back, and then she just started having accidents for no reason, plus she got freaked out about doing #2 in the potty, so it’s just been frustrating as hell.
I am actually hoping that going to school will do the trick with her…I’m starting to think that if she gets embarrassed about having an accident, it will motivate her a little better.
Well, what worked for me may not work for you, thats the thing about kid raising, there just are no rules. Rotten people raise nice kids, nice peope raise hellions, it doesn’t make sense. Heres what worked for me: let the kid watch you do it (whichever gender is relevent, of course). Dunno why, but he did and started imitating (not real well, at first, but hell…)
Remember, insanity is hereditary: you get it from your kids.
Can I get an “Amen”? The twos were great–our daughter was as sweet as pie. But now that she is 3, she spends 75% of the time being a royal pain in the ass. Everyone tells me just to hang on until she turns 4…
OMG, I hope this blows over when she’s 4. Only 10 months to go…
The worst (or maybe the best) thing about it is that when she’s being good, she’s just adorable. If it wasn’t for those moments, I don’t think any of us would survive this!
They generally grow out of it. Tell your daughter that you love her, and that tantrums are for children who can’t control their feelings. Teach her how to control them, through breathing, relaxing, etc. Three year olds, particularly girls, are more self-aware than most growedups give them credit for. And get someone to help you with the cleaning. Ask your real life friends and family for some help, and let them know that you’ll return the favor when you can. Get someone to take your daughter for playtime with a similarly aged child, so you can get some relief. And blow off as much steam here as you need. The weight will go, with some diligence, once you stop breast feeding, which could be a while, but it doesn’t need be permanent.
Oh hon! ((((((hugs))))))) Mine turned into hellions just at age 3. It was awful! For about 4 months there. Of course you don’t have energy for anything.
Better days WILL come, I swear. Just hang on.
I like diet cherry 7-UP & rum, personally.
I do remember one thing – at one point I had them help me write out “House Rules”. Big piece of paper posted on the refrigerator. All infractions meant time in the corner. For a week or two I was really consistent about it, and they backed off some of the craziness.
Some of the craziness I’ve just gotten used to.
Re: potty, I finally told my kids that babies, who DO poop themselves, DON’T get to watch television. Period. That did it.
little one at my elbowzxzzzvcfg5 she likes to type.
This was my experience, too…although my son had just turned FOUR! :eek:
I feel for you, Sarahfeena. I’m glad those days are long past. My son is now 12 and going into 7th grade. It’ll be smooth sailing from now on, right???
I feel weirdly capable of responding to this, because I recently had an “i’m an okay parent!” moment.
My daughter (who just turned four) has been potty trained for awhile, but recently she began having accidents at home. Like, every time she had to go. She would just pee wherever she happened to be sitting. How many times can a child pee on a couch before you have to throw it out? I don’t know, but I think I came close to finding out.
Bow the thing about my daughter is, she is a budding gourmand. She eats all the time (she isn’t overweight in the least however), and she will eat anything. She just adores food. Her father is a chef, so they eat all kinds of fancy things together. Well, I went out and bought a bag of fancy chocolates, and put them on top of my closet. I told her she could have one every time she peed in the potty, and, she’s been accident free for four days now!!
So, for once, I feel like I did something right. Sarahfeena, if your kid isn’t as spoiled as mine, maybe you could try a bag of gummi worms or something? Or, you could buy her some cute panties she loves (let her go to the store with you and pick them out) and tell her if she uses the bathroom in them they will be ruined. A friend of mine did that with her daughter, and she was so pleased with how pretty they were, and so worried about “peeing on a princess” (I think they had Cinderella on them) she really shaped up quick.
Anyway, we know how you feel. You’ll get through it!
Great job, Miss Elizabeth! I tried bribing with chocolate, but she is stubborn enough to be un-bribable! She doesn’t respond well to bribes in any circumstance. Once, we were planning to go out for ice cream for dessert, and she was refusing to eat her dinner. I told her she would get no ice cream if she didn’t eat. I even let her take some dinner with her in the stroller, to give her another chance to go with the program. She wouldn’t take a bite. I expected her to pitch a fit when she didn’t get any ice cream, but she never said a word. She wasn’t taking the deal, and that was that. Like I said, stubborn. Takes after me.
I’ve tried all the potty training tricks, actually, and I think I have the kind of kid who has to find her own motivation. I’m hoping she finds it soon, because I’ve been cleaning up a lot of pee pee, as well.
fessie, I just read about the “house rules” idea in a book. I was thinking about trying it, and I’m glad to hear it worked for you. I think the temper tantrum problem is partly my own fault (and my husband’s…can’t let him off the hook!)…the rules are maybe not clear or consistent enough for her. I tend to be kind of laid back about things, and I think this might be detrimental as a parent.
Thanks so much for all the advice & good thoughts…you guys are awesome! We had a good night tonight with no temper trantrums, so I am feeling a little better. Now if the baby just lets me sleep for more than 3 hours at a stretch tonight, I’m sure I’ll feel much better tomorrow! My husband is downstairs feeding him cereal right now, to try to get him nice & full before we all go to sleep.
Glad the day got better - hope you’re getting some sleep!
What books have you found helpful? Harvey Karp & Vicki Iovine are my faves for 0-2, but their advice has played out at this point. I like Louise Bates Ames’ series. She’s not terribly specific with strategies, though, just gives Moms permission to hire babysitters (encourages it, in fact) for these spells when they’re just intractable.
Mine go back to preschool in a couple of weeks, hallejuleah! Just 3 afternoons/wk, but it really helps.
Oh, absolutely. See "cutest baby thread (and post some when you get a chance, eh!).
I noticed the other day, it’s really only the parents of infants-young toddlers who fret over “How gifted is my kid?” – once they hit 2.5 or so, it changes to “Lord, just get me through this”.
Does your dd go online? You could have her try www.starfall.com for pre-reading activities. Might buy you some quiet (it comes at a price, since now I have to battle mine over frickin computer time!).
As far as potty training goes, put her in the cotton training pants, so she can feel when she’s wet. It worked wonders with ivygirl, once she figured out releasing full bladder = wet undies she caught on in about a day.
As far as the temper tantrums…where appropriate (like, don’t do this in the middle of the grocery store) get down on the floor and pitch a fit right next to her. Really go at it, not enough to scare, just enough to distract. Hopefully you’ll turn it into a giggle fit.
fessie, the book I was referring to just went back to the library, and I don’t remember the name! I’ll think about it for a while and see if it comes to me. It’s a new one, and it focuses on the pre-school years. Dang, it’s just escaping me right now.
Ivylass, I think I’m in what I am thinking of as “stage 2” with the potty training. She knows how to do it, she knows about accidents and that they are undesirable, and she goes potty on her own sometimes. She just gets distracted and “forgets” to go sometimes, or she is in a situation where it’s not easy for her to do it. She is having a lot of trouble asking for help with it…if it’s convenient for her, she goes. But if not, she has an accident. She definitely knows how to hold it, because we have a long commute to daycare (it’s near my office), and she has worn big girl underpants in the car all week, with NO accidents! Then when we get there, she goes on the potty (goes A LOT, so I know she has been holding it.) She understands “hold it till we get there,” I think because it is a defined period of time, and she is in the car seat the whole time. Easy for her to think “don’t go in the car seat.”
This is why I’m hoping that preschool will help…she’ll see the other kids do it, and it will be more structured. At daycare, she’s the oldest kid, so there’s no one to really model for her right now.
We went out to the library and the grocery store today, just the two of us. She went potty at the library, and stayed dry the whole trip! Yay!
I’m trying to solve the no-sleep problem, too…the baby is going to start getting cereal before bed!
That’s exactly what my daughter did - it didn’t bother her in the least to just pee wherever she happened to be. Ay yi yi! Taking away television did the trick, though. It wasn’t a punitive thing, it was a “you can be a baby if you choose, but babies don’t get privileges” association. Anything like that for your dd?
Yes, I’d definitely like to read that book - LMK when you think of it!
