Hillary Clinton.
I don’t have the Food Network, so…
I could write in something silly in case there’s a recount! I could be the new “Lizard People”!
But I think Jill Stein is going to get on the ballot, so I’ll probably just do that. 
Yeah, that makes sense.
But as of right now, I’m [del]writing in Cupcake Face![/del]
Hey, cool, they mentioned Martin O’Malley!
Cthulhu isn’t even an American citizen! If we’re disregarding eligibility, I’m backing Schwarzenegger! [del]President Schwarzenegger has to fight the vampires on the peak of Mt. Olympus, in accordance with the prophecy.[/del] He’s a big enough celebrity and likable enough to beat Hillary *and *Trump.
I know, he probably had his fill of politicians after his stint in Sacramento. 
Oh man, I haven’t had cable for over a year now. I miss Cupcake Wars so much!
Gary Johnson. I would consider voting for Hillary if:
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The polls show a close race going into election day; AND
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The polls show a realistic possibility that my particular state could go either way.
Since I live in a very red state, these two conditions should be mutually exclusive. Meaning that the only scenario where Hillary might be competitive in my state is if she already has an overwhelmingly lead in the national polls. However, this has been such a weird election cycle so far that I’m not ruling anything out.
There’s always the recycled “In Your Guts You Know He’s Nuts”.
In this context, it’s pronounced “twue!”