My father was born in Hong Kong and moved here to L.A. when he was about 14 or 15. My mother was born here, but is of Chinese descent (city of Canton to be exact).
Both my parents speak fluent English and Chinese (different dialects between the two of them though), but I barely speak a couple words of it. This surprises a lot of people. Some people are even offended by it.
As if I’m not in touch with my heritage or some shit. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’d love it if I knew how to speak the langauge, but I’m not gonna take a class just to learn it and please those that take offense (always the FOBs).
I grew up in an all white neighborhood, and went to all white schools throughout my childhood, so learning the language wasn’t all that practical. My mother speaks better English than she does Chinese, so she always spoke to me in English.
Now, my father speaks better Chinese than he does English, but he still spoke to me in English also. I guess because of the enviornment he was in.
I was re-reading this post, and it’s really funny how a lot of us are expected to be representative of our ethnicities but aren’t at all. I’d say most of us are totally Westernized. And then, I think of some of my friends:
Caroline: Half Italian, part Japanese, Hawaiian, and some other stuff I can’t quite remember now. Speaks excellent Italian, but is a Chinese Language major and can speak Cantonese and Mandarin.
Monica: Born in Costa Rica, but ethnically speaking is full Chinese. She most closely identifies with the Spanish (?) culture. She speaks English and Chinese well, and pretty much fluent in Spanish.
Ricky: Born in Peru, and is also near fluent in Spanish. He moved to Hawaii at a later age than Monica and has a rather interesting accent- part Chinese, part Spanish. It’s hard to explain. His gf is from Japan, so he also knows some Japanese.
Then there’s me: Born in Hawaii. I speak “mainland” English and French. Not a drop of Chinese blood in me, yet native Chinese speak to me in Cantonese all the time and think I’m lying when I tell them I don’t understand them. sigh
Yeah, I’m definitely with Audrey on that one! Michi, you have to visit your dad in Hawaii!
Audrey also said: “It doesn’t matter to me who asks about my ethinicity. Actually, it seldom comes up. I live in Hawaii, where there is every single flavor of Asians possible, so people usually can tell what you are or they guess and assume they are correct and don’t ask.”
Yeah – in Hawaii there is a FAR more important question to ask than one’s ethnicity. That all-critical question is, “What school you wen’?” (read: “Which high school did you go to?”). Why? Because:
[ul]
[li]If you went to a private high school, it meant you were snobby…AND it mattered WHICH. If you went to certain ones, it meant your parents were white and rich. If you went to another one, it meant you were part-Hawaiian. If you went to yet another one, it meant you were a really smart Asian – because that was the stereotype.[/li][li]If you went to a public high school, it mattered WHAT CITY, because it told the person immediately what your family’s ethnicity, and economic level was.[/li][li]…and if you went to a high school on the mainland, you didn’t count at all.[/li][/ul]
Kidding. So, this means two girls i knew in HS who were from Hawaii really didn’t count ;). Acutally, they were quite nice, a couple of friends, those two.
Oh and i should ask my cousin Meredith about that, Baggie Wahine, since she grew up on Molokai (Lives in Maui now).
I was thinking about Asian steroetypes, and i recall people often remarking about how Filipinos really arent all that Asian. As if we have to be Buddhists or whatever. I would agree somewhat. Jorge pointed out the culture is a little more towards being like Polynesian than Asian (outriggers, taro, language, etc.). Also, being colonized by Spain, we’ve absorbed a lot of that culture as well. Basically a mix of different cultures. I like to think of it as your basic Malaysian culture with a Latin swing to it.
But, generally speaking, we are much more Asian than anything else, I think.
This is true, generally speaking. You have to remember that in old Hawaii (1800s), there were a lot of white people who came and prospered here and founded special (ahem, elite) schools for their kids to attend. Can’t have them associating with the natives’ or immigrant workers’ kids, you know. The school still operates (of course now it takes all kids smart enough to get in and doesn’t prejudice by race), and the stereotype is that all kids going to this school are snotty white offspring. (I’m not saying which school it is- Baglady, I think I know which one you mean, though.)
The second school mentioned is restricted to those with Native Hawaiian blood- forget that percentages or connections you have to have in order to get in. I have a friend who is a smidge Hawaiian, and her father went there, so she got in.
The latter school is where all the nerds come from. Stereotype lives on.
Actually, Baglady, the real question to ask about people in Hawaii is “Are you local?” This is no big deal on the mainland, where you can drive state to state, but in Hawaii, the teeny isolated little island state, whether you’re a local matters a lot. As you may have gathered, it’s easy to be Asian (esp. a Westernized Asian) in Hawaii, but I really would prefer NOT to get into race relations here. We’re already off topic with this. I will say this: The whole race relations thing in Hawaii gets a bit complicated what with all the flavors of people we got here, but in all honesty, we’re just like everyone else. We’ve got our own prejudices and crap like that. We like to think we don’t, but we do. The psychologist in me finds it interesting and worthy of study; the human being in me finds it disappointing.
Doobieous, here in Hawaii, I think Filipinos can safely be considered to be Asian. In Hawaii, Japanese, Chinese, Korean, etc. are usually differentiated and aren’t grouped together (as much) in the term “Asian”. Another thing about Hawaii- the culture kinda loses something- instead of being a Chinese culture, for example, it’s a Hawaii thing with Chinese tendencies. Or at least this is how it seems sometimes. Baglady, am I making any sense?
Hmm maybe another thread could be opened where we can discuss this, if everyone thinks we’re going too far off topic?
Until then, i’ll reply. Overall i do consider Filipinos to be within the Asian boundaries. While we do share things with Polynesians and Pacific cultures, i dont feel theyre enough to be considered enough for us to have close cultural affinities to Polynesians.
At least in this area, people know the differences between the different ethnicities. Where in a place like Kansas Koreans and Chinese would be lumped together, here where I live this would not be so (except on forms of course). In my area, race is not really thought about much at all. It’s so diverse that it’s quite easy to overlook race (a friend of mine was quite shocked when she was in Gerogia and was lumped in with all the other brown skinned people. She’s Japanese/Indian/White). I dont recall anyone ever really asking “what race are you?” or “where are you from?” People either assumed, or didnt bring it up. Usually the big question was “what city are you from” (as with the school examples Baglady gave, what city you were from gave an idea as to your economic status) But, people generally had friends from every city on the peninsula, so it wasnt that big of a deal.
My general feeling is that children should not be allowed anywhere near me until their 23rd summer or so. Since that would make for a crappy relationship with my own, Lani and I have decided that we shouldn’t have any.
Actually, that is an overstatement. I am generally indifferent to children and am sure I would love my own and be great father. But I have no desire to be a father (and Lani doesn’t really care to be a mother) so we’ll leave our two to someone else.
I know this off topic but I absolutly love seeing mixed races in children. The biggest impact of this was a JCPenney ad where this little girl was completly white with long blond hair but an asian eye structure. It was so beautiful.
I think withing a few more hundred years most of the races will mix so that there is more or less shades of people. I love that ideal. No more prejudices.
Aw rat farts, Ricey, I was one of the numbnuts who asked you that. [hangs head in shame] It’s just that I thought it was like the Hatfield and The McCoys, you know, something that lasted long beyond the actual historical events that started the enmity.
Like the Norwegians and the Swedes in North Dakota. Like the Czechs and the Germans. Wait, actually, the more I think of it, the more I think it isn’t so stupid to be surprised about your family. There are cultures who think quite ill of each other, and that would prevent most social mixing…
Wow Audrey, I thought I was missing stuff Big Time having been away from the islands these past two years, so of course my curiosity got the best of me – I had to ask some of my friends back home.
Maybe it’s because you yourself are still fresh out of high school, or it’s a “new generation” kind of thing? So far the general consensus among several of my friends is that “Wea you wen skoooooool?” is still the first thing people blurt out… However, I did discover a mea culpa: The question is used particularly often when you are on the mainland, and you happen to notice someone who uses (even slight) pidgin.
I don’t know if I’d have the nerve to just come out and ask, “Are you local?” because it seem so um… like “if you aren’t FROM here you don’t count,” but I guess I can handle “Are you from Hawaii?” or “Were you raised here in the islands?” Maybe it’s MY perception of what it means to be a Hawaii local, since simply LIVING in Hawaii does NOT make you a local, neh?
Actually, the Hatfields and McCoys just had a big reunion together. Had a picnic, played frisbee, got along fine. not shots fired. Now if a baby comes out of it…
Not to be critical of Ricepad’s attitude, but this question never bothered me in the slightest. Yes, I suppose I can see how it would get tiresome after awhile, but the question was normally posed to me in respectful, intellectually curious tones.
To digress for a moment, I was never one to be bothered by these types of generalizations, or to find anything “racist” in such remarks (I also have no problem with the term “oriental”, which, in fact I use to describe myself as frequently as I do “Asian”).
I’ve always felt that it was at least important to avoid taking offense at possibly tactless remarks (such as “How old are you?”, “What’s your racial descent?”, etc.) as it is to** avoid giving offense by asking questions which may be considered “personal” but to which no offense is truly intended**.
In other words, I have no issues with being labeled “oriental” or “asian” or being asked if my ancestors were traditional enemies of my other ancestors if I feel the question is being posed in a non confrontational manner. And it’s my experience that it usually is.
End of digression, and this is by no means an implied criticism of Ricepad’s preferences. To each his own.
I have to choose my words carefully because I don’t want to mischaracterize things. In conversations a lot of people have, we’ll say things like, “Oh, the other day, I saw this Korean lady, and…” or “This Portuguese-looking guy…” So I think people here do semiconsciously categorize the people they meet or see. This isn’t done with any malice or racism. It just seems like a habit.
Heh heh, I don’t think the “What city are you from?” question is asked much around here, because as an island, there aren’t many places where you could be from!
The Hawaii equivalent is “Whea you live?!” meaning neighborhood, and same as with the schools and cities questions, you can assume a lot about people based on that.
It was the big question when I got to college (I’m 22) at UH. I myself have asked the “local” question more than the “school question”, but that may be because I had no strong sense of school spirit, and I went to a fairly neutral high school (McKinley). The only thing private schooling meant to me was that it usually meant those kids looked down on public-school kids.
On the other hand, I met a lot of mainland people, or local people who went to the mainland for several years, and found them very fun or interesting. And I did ask most of them if they were local. I think some were happy to be asked that- to them it meant that they were starting to blend in, and weren’t feeling so out-of-place anymore.
Baglady, I dunno, I could be wrong about the “school” question not being a big deal anymore. To me, and the people I know, it’s not.
When I asked it, I phrased it “Are you from Hawaii?” for that same reason. People know usually that you mean no offense by it, yet the caution is there. It’s better to play it safe with race questions, since innocent questions can be taken the wrong way.
Indeed, it does not. Some have been here 6 months, yet are right at home; some can stay for 3 generations and still aren’t really local.
I think in most places, it’s automatic. I know that I do it. Of course there’s a difference between giving the general description, and making it something where that’s the only important thing.
In the towns here there’s really no “neighborhoods” that can tell you anything about a person (we dont even think about neighborhoods, more in terms of landmarks). By and large it’s the city you come from that determines what someone’s perception of you is. For instance the town of Carmel is considered mostly white, with people who are upper middle class to wealthy (houses run about $400,000 on average, IIRC). Those of us in my city or in the one next door consider the residents there to be a bit snobbish towards us (yes, it’s a generalization, but i’ve seen evidence of it myself).
Honestly, the more upper middle class to wealthy cities like to see themselves as important, to the exclusion of the other cities in the area (Pacific Grove calls it’s self “America’s Last Hometown”, talk about pretentious). But, those of us in the “unimportant” towns really don’t think much about any of them, unless we have to go there to shop, or do business.
I can understand that; you two would have had gorgeous children but that is a really, really dumb reason to have kids. I’m just a nosey old biddy.
divemaster thank you for the compliment. And tubagirl, too. I have to say I do think Nicholas is one of the more attractive children. Although, like I said before, I was suprized at how white looking he is. When he was born I was just shocked at having this bald baby with strawberry blond fuzz thrust into my arms. I just knew he would have lots of black hair and brown eyes. And yes, mixed race children are the most gorgeous.
Question for the mixed people: Have you ever had the experience where a well meaning white person has tried to make you feel guilty about not being more Asian? You know, saying things like “you shouldn’t be ashamed of your culture” and “being Asian is something to be proud of.” I am proud of my mixed heritage, but at heart I am a mainstream American (whatever that is). I am not going to run around in a Hanbok eating kimchee with chopsticks just because that is what somebody else thinks I should do. In fact, why wouldn’t I be more “white”, as I was raised and educated in my father’s country? I know they don’t mean any harm by this, but I find it condescending and rude (and somehow it is always a man with an Asian girl fetish who does this.)
Both my parents are from mainland China. I’ve had people ask me if I’m mixed, though, ‘cause I have frizzy curly hair, and I’m about 6’. We moved to Canada in '86, so I would have been almost four at the time.
My first language was Mandarin, and I took ESL courses in elementary school, but it’s not my first language in the sense that I think in English and I do math in English. I can’t speak Mandarin anymore, but I understand it, and it goes straight to my brain the same way English does. My parents speak to me in Mandarin, and I reply in English.
I’ve been pretty much westernized, and I’ve actually been called a banana–yellow on the outside, white in the inside–both as an insult and a term of endearment.
Among Filipinos, the term for someone who is White on the inside but brown outside is coconut. Pretty apt. description. I’ve rearely heard it used though. Usually when it is, it’s a term of endearment.
