What would you make for me if I didn’t know what I wanted and I said “Surprise me!”?
A muff diver. Just because I was subjected to one for my 21st birthday. Oh, that wasn’t directed at me? Sorry.
One more thing, I’m a guy and I don’t like beer, does that mean I’m defective? (Hey, but I can down my liqour–mainly Skyy Vodka and Curevo).
Have you ever caught someone using fake ID? Is it easy to tell the difference between real and fake?
And on a completely different note, can you recommend a really good import beer? Something unique?
Chimay beer, made by Trappist monks in Belgium.
Man, I hadn’t even thought to get into the whole ID thing. Audrey, do you do much carding or is it mostly done at the door?
ok, here’s a question for ya:
for your average home bar, what do you recomend stocking it with?
Nah, it’s grenadine, not cran. The grenadine stays separated until you stir it, causing the “sunrise.”
**Sorry for interjecting here, but I have a different take on this than Audrey. (Oh, and I’ve been a barman at various stages of my life, until I graduated from uni.)
Personally, I’d think more of a guy who DIDN’T go out of his way to explain that a “girly” drink wasn’t for himself. If you said nothing about the drink – sticking to the small talk instead – I’d assume it was for someone else or whatever.
If, OTOH, you felt you had to explain who it was for, I’d probably have some fun at your expense. (Nothing nasty, just a grin, raised eyebrow and “oh, suuure it is!”)
Not explaining yourself shows you’re perfectly comfortable in your masculinity. An unnecessary explaination tells me you’re a little insecure about what people think; heck, you’re only paying for a drink, not donning a skirt!
Comfortable is good. Insecure is bad.
Nightsong, if it’s just the bite of vodka you dislike, I’d suggest trying one of the flavored vodkas…Stoli, Smirnoff, Absolut, and Grey Goose all make very good flavored vodkas that are a lot sweeter than regular vodka. You might also try flavored rums, too; Bacardi makes Limon and O, which are lemon and orange flavored rums…both would be tasty with cran. (They have a slightly lower proof than vodka.)
Peach schnapps is also good with cran; there’s not a lot of alcohol in it, but if that’s your speed, it’s very tasty. And if you asked me to make you something with cran in it, to those specifications, I’d probably throw together some Absolut Mandrin, a splash of OJ, splash of sweet-and-sour, and fill with cran.
Oh, and a Long Beach Tea is good–same format as a Long Island, but instead of sweet and sour and Coke, it’s cranberry and a splash of Sprite. Very tasty!
CreaseMunky, it’s funny you should ask, because my boss refuses to order a bottle of Galliano, on the grounds that “it’s pointless.” I’d like to have one, just for a more complete bar, but honestly I’ve only refused a couple of drinks in the whole year and a half I’ve worked there b/c I don’t have any. Harvey Wallbangers, specifically.
I do have a bottle of Campari I’ve never touched since I started, except to dust it.
White Lightning, there really isn’t a Magic Question. I know that isn’t what you wanted to hear, but it’s true. Asking for a “really good drink” and promising a good tip doesn’t really work; most people who tell you they’re good tippers, or that they’ll “take care of you,” don’t. Honestly. It’s like a joke.
So just be pleasant and courteous, and pay for your first round with cash, and a generous tip. That should ensure you a nice strong drink for the duration; if it doesn’t, he/she is a moron and you’re better off at another bar.
Oh, and as far as flirting goes…you can’t tell the difference. That’s why I get paid the big bucks. 
For those who are curious, a Sex on the Beach is very sweet, and kind of nasty, if you ask me. People order it mainly because it’s an easy, catchy name to remember. I make it with vodka, Midori, Chambord, cranberry and OJ; some people put peach schnapps in it, though, and everybody’s got a slightly different take on it. shrug It’s one of those drinks, like a Hurricane, that every bartender makes a bit differently, and whichever bartender made it for you first has, in your mind, made the “correct version” by which you will judge all others. Even bar guides differ. (On a LOT of things!)
And for White Lightning, a Cosmopolitan does indeed call for a splash of cran. It’s vodka, Cointreau, and cran, shaken as a martini; I call it a “martini for beginners.” I also usually use Absolut Citron for a sweeter flavor; some people put lime juice in it as well. Some people erroneously make it with Chambord, however; the thing to remember about bartending is that so many people are doing it that they have a tendency to invent, or substitute. There’s an old saying that if you can’t remember what’s in it, make it red and make it strong.
Also for White Lightning, there’s nothing wrong with Chivas. I’d also recommend trying Glenlivet or Glenmorangie, or Macallen 12–or even 25, if you’re feeling froggy.
And for Zyada, I’m not gonna lie. I don’t really know squat about port wine, except for a couple of brands I tasted at a wine-tasting at a restaurant I worked for. That’s more a “fine dining” restaurant, or upscale martini bar, type of thing…and even then, at the martini bar I worked at, I can count on one hand the number of times I sold port.
I’m sorry I couldn’t be more help.
This is kind of a trick question, b/c there’s always the wicked temptation to surprise someone who says this with something surprisingly awful. And make them pay for it. And don’t judge too harshly; people who say “Surprise me!” are asking a lot, b/c I have no idea what kind of drink you like, or whether you like strong or sweet or sour, or whatever. Kind of like telling a new hairdresser “Surprise me!” and then hating what they do to your hair.
Having said that, if you insisted on me surprising you, I’d probably invent something on the spur of the moment. I do this frequently with shots as well; I’ve gotten surprisingly good at it. Something like, oh…Smirnoff Orange and Citrus with a dash of watermelon and peach schnapps, a dash of sour apple, filled with pineapple and OJ, and topped with a splash of sweet and sour.
Which would taste very tart, very harmless, and very much like punch…and would kick your ass. 
Or a Stoli Vanil with butterscotch schnapps and dark creme de cocoa, shaken and served as a martini. (This is heaven. Trust me.)
For you and White Lightning, yes, I have caught people using a fake ID. Caught two on Saturday night, actually; they were military, and their friends gave me their military ID’s, and then these two handed me these funky white laminated “Texas State Identification Cards” that I hope to God no other bartender believed. Like I don’t know what a TX state ID looks like! Geez.
And when I asked them for their military ID’s, they both said they’d forgotten them. :rolleyes: Yeah right.
Most people don’t use fake manufactured ID’s like that, though; they borrow someone else’s real ID and try to pass it off as theirs. I’ve had this happen, too; one military guy used his military ID, and gave his minor friend his state ID! Hello, it was the SAME FREAKIN’ NAME. I guess I really look stupid.
I’m sure I’ve probably served minors unknowingly–I’m not perfect–but I do try to stay on top of things and if something just doesn’t sit right, I refuse service. Which really pisses them off, particularly if I just say, “Sorry, not gonna happen” and don’t explain myself. I don’t have to. It’s my right, and my fine, and my jail sentence.
And at the martini bar, we had a door guy/bouncer; here at my current bar, we don’t. I card everyone. And even at the martini bar, with a door guy, I still checked ID’s; bouncers and door guys are susceptible to pretty faces, and it isn’t their problem if I’m the one serving the minor they let “sneak in.” Johnny Law’s still gonna come after me.
And Treviathan, I’m not a beer drinker, but Negro Modelo and Bohemia are both really smooth, crisp Mexican imports. Don’t know how “unique” they are, though. Ditto for Shiner Bock, which is a microbrew here in Texas. GW Dundee Honey Brown is tasty on draft. Again, I’m not a beer drinker, so I’m limited to what I serve at my bar as far as recommendations, and we really don’t carry anything exotic.
Depends on who you entertain, but you always want to be able to make a few standards. Which means a decent vodka, bourbon, gin, rum, scotch, and tequila. Also sweet and dry vermouth, for Manhattans and martinis, and triple sec, for making margaritas. (A good home recipe for margaritas uses tequila, triple sec, and Minute Maid limeade. Ever so tasty!)
Depends on your budget after that (I’m assuming you’re not asking about nonalcoholic mixers like tonic and fruit juice), but a nice addition would be a coffee liqueur, like Kahlua or Tia Maria, and Bailey’s Irish Cream, for those who don’t want a stiff drink. And perhaps a couple of schnapps of your choice, just for fun. Peach, butterscotch, apple, watermelon, etc., are tasty and usually a lot lower proof, and they make nice modifiers or by themselves.
And not many people think of this, but I’m serious: buy a jigger, a few stainless steel pour spouts, and a bartending guide. Most “party/home bartenders” don’t have any clue what they’re mixing, or how strong they’re making something, when they just bust out the bottle, uncap it, and glug-glug-glug their way through the night.
This is how you get into trouble, and you are just as liable, as the host, as a bar or restaurant; if one of your guests goes home and wraps his car around a tree, b/c you didn’t know how much you were serving him and got him unknowingly wasted, you’re to blame. And you can be sued. (At least here in TX; I would assume a similar liability exists in other states.)
A jigger and pour spouts prevent all this, so I highly recommend them; the less you know about bartending, the more you need them.
Do you ever get someone who asks you to customize a drink?
By that I mean the following:
I don’t really go to bars, nor do I order mixed drinks much. But I’ve always thought that a good drink would be a White Russian made with Coco Lopez, instead of the straight cream. I originally referred to it as a “Tropical Russian”, but Wonko The Sane dubbed it a “Cuban”, which I like a lot better, for the political irony.
I’ve refrained from just strolling into a bar and asking for this, since I don’t know if it would be gauche or geeky or wildly expensive. Also, any bar I would tend to frequent would likely be a “Bud Longneck”-type of establishment.
Your thoughts?
What’s YOUR recipie for a bushwhacker?
And whats your short list of dangerous drinks? (And by that I mean the first one goes down easy, the second one goes down easier, and halfway through the third your body goes numb.) The bushwhacker qualifies.
…can you pull a proper pint of Guinness?..you dont know how many time i would cringe when i see the idiot behind the bar fill it like it was a race or something…i would always say "please start me a Guinness and hope they understood…my wife never understood my anger until we went out one night to a place called Carrabas…she ordered her French Martini and they brought it in a wine glass and said they had very few martini glasses and it was real busy so all they had clean were wine glasses…i couldnt stop laughing…she wouldnt drink it and made me hawk the 'tender til a martini glass came in…the next time there she brought her own martini glass and handed it to the 'tender when she ordered it,told her “sad story” and drank free that night…
Thank you Audrey!
scurries off to find working pen to scribble this stuff down with
I have to second this - I hated the vodkas I had in college, even the ones that people insisted that you can’t taste. Then I started drinking Absolut Citron in tart drinks (even just ordering it with sour mix works), and found I liked that. From there I moved up to the better triple-distilled vodkas, which you really can’t taste, at least in terms of that harsh “bite”.
I thought I posted this yesterday but I guess not - if someone is sitting at your bar, what’s your policy on doing refills if they don’t ask for one? I had one bartender refill my drink when I wasn’t looking (was engaged in conversation with friends), and I was planning on being the driver that night. I usually have one drink at the beginning of the night, then switch to soda for the rest of the time. It was busy and I couldn’t get her attention easily, so I just pushed it towards her side of the bar, and it eventually was removed. When I did get her attention finally, I ordered a soda.
Also, another regional shot question - have you heard of a shot that tastes like an oatmeal cookie? I heard a bartender talking about it at a very noisy bar, and all I managed to hear was something like butterscotch schnapps and maybe Goldschlager.
I was looking at a flyer for a club opening scheduled for this weekend, and at the bottom the drinks specials were $2 domestics, and $3 highballs (IIRC). I’ve seen highballs as part of an advertisement for bars/clubs on the radio, but what are they? Some type of mixed drink/beer?
I was looking at a flyer for a club opening scheduled for this weekend, and at the bottom the drinks specials were $2 domestics, and $3 highballs (IIRC). I’ve seen highballs as part of an advertisement for bars/clubs on the radio, but what are they? Some type of mixed drink/beer?
Audrey, thanks for the “surprise me” reply. Another question:
Have you ever heard of a drink (this is something I love) that is just top-shelf gin with a cocktail onion and a little bit of the pickle juice the onion came in? It’s fun to try with the many different varieties of cocktail onion.