We cannot speak for Wolf Blitzer, but Mancow has asked that you meet him under the bleachers after class. He says he will bring the vaseline.
Fox News analysts tell us that no one doesn’t like “Fox and Friends”. Our research indicates that the only people who do not watch it are non-Americans and people who still think Gore won the election. Unfortunately, the Nixon list has about 20 blank pages that appear to have been erased. G. Gordon Liddy has refused to comment.
Yes. The horde would have to be pro-American to have a legitimate claim. After all, it was Americans who spilled blood to claim the oil wells on behalf of the Iraqi people.
Do you think you are being funny, or are you keeping this going out of some twisted sense of duty?
Quite a number of posters have found this to be funny.
Dear Fox News Reporter:
Today at lunch I watched Richard Perle appear on al-Jazeera to be interviewed. Other than causing me some heartburn - although that could have been my tahini sauce and mustard - it was interesting to hear Perle, ahem, analyzing the Iraqi situation for al-Jazeera.(*)
Do you approve of this?
Does Fox have plans for a competing network?
Does Richard Perle always look like a Penguin or was it an al-Jazeera plot?
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*: Quite true, I did.
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Dear Fox News Reporter,
I’m experiencing quite the conundrum that is keeping me from sleeping well at night.
If it is true that “you report and we decide,” then why the need to tell us that Fox is “fair and balanced” every commercial break?
Maybe not funny, but certainly amusing and diverting.
As far as “fair and balanced” is concerned, Mr. Fox News reporter, is there any truth to the rumor that the boys in the front office are thinking of changing the outfits name to “The Fair and Balanced and T & A Network?” Like Honest Guido’s Used Cars and Pasta.
The truth hurts, donnit? 
Mr. Fox News Reporter, why have your talking heads not been denouncing that seditious television series “24”? It’s all about the US being induced to make war in the Middle East on the basis of - get this- fabricated evidence, so that US corporate interests can get their oil? Is it because the series is also on Fox and Mr. Murdoch wants his investment protected?
- Curious
When I tell my buddies down at the car wash about how fair and balanced and all Fox News is, they get really silly, start rolling their eyes and making these choked-off little laughing sounds and grinning like they seen something funny. Sister-wife says there must be something wrong with them guys.
What’s wrong with them guys?
– Freeper McDitto
Dear Fox News Reporter:
Which is more patriotic, paper or plastic? I mean, paper kills trees, but they’re our good, American trees. Plastic comes from oil, which comes from those guys over there, but buying their oil would help them rebuild their country, right? And helping them is good, right?
Thanks!
What have you done with Greta? That other woman isn’t fooling anybody!
Is there a particular reason why Fox refers to the Clinton/Gore administration as such, while the Bush administration is referred to simply as the Bush administration?
I’ve just learned that the owner of your network, Rupert Murdoch, is a… foreigner!
Does non-American ownership of your network create an anti-American bias? Shouldn’t American news be owned by Americans?
So what happens if I include Senator Hillary Clinton?
Is Shepperd Smith and Sean Hanitty really lovers who like to play fight in front of American viewers for secret shits and giggles?
Is Sean Hannity the secret love child of Lou Costello and Nathan Lane?
Are Laurie Dhue’s lips botox’d or what?
Why do I, an non-lesbian, like Patti Ann Brown so much?
Dear FNR,
I’ve been referring to french fries as “freedom” fries and french toast as “freedom” toast. But when I found myself having to point out a french flag, my head exploded. What should I do?
Dear FNR,
When we are giving thanks for President Bush’s liberation of the Iraqi oi…err people this November, should we call our turkey “Freedom Bird”?
Dear Fox News,
Can you please go back to the fun banter on your morning program of Fox and Friends and just cut out all the War Against Iraq crapola.
Some of us just cannot handle that much patriotic ferver before an IV of coffee in the morning. Frankly, at the rate you guys are going, (Rupert, are you listening?) you are going to lose me forever to House of Mouse.
Really, it was about the only semi-tolerable morning news program out there that didn’t pander down to the viewer too much.