What is your relationship with the Bush Administration, and how does that compare with that with the Clinton Administration?
Do you support Strom Thurmond’s bid for presidency?
Mr Fox News Reporter, a question. While I’m sure we all appreciate Prime Minister Blair’s support for our beloved leader, I’m troubled by the fact that Blair was also friendly to Bill Clinton when he was inexplicably President. Obviously this is not the action of a true conservative. So should we be putting England on “the list”?
How do I get an embedded reporter out from between my teeth?
Very good.
I’m highly impressed that you give so much coverage to the show American Idol–other news outlets seem to have missed out on it entirely! Can you explain this?
Fox News analysts say that in cases of possible subversive policies of political extremist groups, like the Libertarian Party, the Communist Party, and so forth, it is best to allow them to operate in public rather than push them underground. That way, they can be more easily monitored and infiltrated by federal agents. It seems unfair and biased to characterize the War on Drugs as a failure at this point, since it has been going on for only thirty years. Let’s wait another thirty years and take a second look at it.
Sources close to the administration tell Fox News that it might take years to sort through all the documentation that coalition forces have uncovered in Iraq. Part of the problem is that the Iraqis could not read and write, but instead filled page after page with cryptic squiggles and dots. Pentagon decryption experts are on the case trying to determine whether the documents are some sort of codified language or just plain nonsense. Fox News will report the administration’s findings the moment we get the nod from the Pentagon.
It’s hard to say. Both set out to destroy the morale of US and coalition troops. Fox News analysts inform us that your question would have been easier to answer had you included Senator Hillary Clinton.
The Middle East road map looks very much like the road map that Geraldo Rivera drew in the sand. Sources tell Fox News that president Bush’s plan will restore order in the Middle East by disarming the Palestinians of their weapons of mass destruction while sternly challenging Israel not to flaunt its nuclear missiles. Fox News does not believe that it is fair to characterize its relationship to the administration as “tight” because of the unfortunate possible sexual connotations of the term. I think that this is an appropriate time to point out that the president of CNN sold out to a murderous dictator so his network could have coverage inside Iraq. Fox News refuses to participate in any subversion of the American government. […fade to image of US Constitution with patriotic music…]
I think that this is an approprate question for Fox News liberal commentator, Alan Colmes. Alan?
Hi, Tony. Let me just make it clear that I’m not a mindless Clinton hack. I’m what I like to call a “thinking liberal”.
Of course, Alan. But what about Blair’s well documented support for the Clinton administration? Should the administration be alarmed despite Britain’s assistance in the War of Liberation?
I don’t think so, Tony. I’m really not ashamed of what Clinton did. He helped the economy, and he helped gay rights. If you were a gay man, wouldn’t you appreciate Bill Clinton?
Are you saying that Clinton’s policy of don’t-ask-don’t-tell, essentially muting gay people and sweeping them under a rug, represented some kind of progress for gays?
Well, sure. Look at how gays were treated before Clinton, and how they’re treated now. Look, I’m not saying that Clinton was perfect. I’m just saying that he wasn’t the horrible lunatic that the Republicans are painting him as.
Okay, but what does any of that have to do with Tony Blair?
For all we know, Tony Blair might be gay. That’s what I mean about the Clinton policy being effective. Bush hasn’t asked him, and Blair hasn’t told.
Thanks, Alan. So there you have it, Nemo. Straight from the liberal point of view.
Have you tried flossing?
Fox News believes that it is essential to cover important aspects of American culture for the benefit of the rest of the world. Patriotism is not a four-letter word.
This is a damn funny thread.
I know I shouldn’t say that, as it may create immediate surveillance on my person, but I just thought I had to make that remark (and thank Lib). This is in no way meant to disparage Fox News or its affiliates, as I agree they are the only news program worth watching (unless, of course, you are a traitorous ignoramus). I sincerely hope the Patriot Act will one day stamp out any and all subversive television “news” (et al.) and expose them for what they really are: leftist/Communist propaganda.
That being said, I eagerly await the arrival of Bill O’Reilly, so that we all may experience the truth of the No-Spin Zone first-hand. If only all Americans – and esp. politicians, non-profit orgs., anti-war (read: anti-American) protesters, celebrities, Jesse Jackson, and all the other lying, disgraceful news “outlets” – could spend some time with Bill so that we all may be enlightened. (Hillary, of course, is excluded, as she is quite clearly beyond salvation – though one can only hope that Bill will take a few moments in Heaven to toss some fiery pebbles down upon the eternally damned.)
Bill, where art thou?
Is it true that Bill O’Reilly is really a liberal (and would vote for Jesse Jackson given the chance) and just “pretends” to be all “right-wing” on the show just for ratings?
What is up O’Reilly’s ass? Is it a bug or a stick? How big is it? Do the interns have to change it out once or week or is it a permanent installation?
I heard that Donald Rumsfeld has a new talent show act where he drinks a glass of water while Bill O’Reilly talks. Do you know where the show is booked, as I have to see this for myself.
Okay. You asked for it.
Bill?
Yes, Tony.
What about these questions from our viewers?
I think I’ve covered most of these questions in my book, How I Singlehandedly Fixed America, which incidentally is number 1 on the New York Times best seller list for the third week in a row. Tony?
I’ve read your book, Bill. And I recommend it highly to everyone watching. I wonder though whether you could go ahead and answer these specific questions for the benefit of those who haven’t yet read it.
I’d be happy to. Some people have said that my book is the most important and influential book since the Bible. I don’t know that I’d go that far, but if you visit my website at Fox News dot com slash oreilly — that’s Fox News dot com slash oreilly — you can see a picture of the cover of the book and read some selected excerpts.
Okay. Why don’t I give you the questions, since I know you’re a very busy man.
As you know, Tony, my show, The O’Reilly Factor, is the top-rated show in its time-slot among the “big three” news networks, including CNN. I think my show, The O’Reilly Factor, has a basic appeal to ordinary folks because I give expression to both sides of every issue. For example, on the subject of Hillary Clinton, I’ve acknoweldged both that she lied about her involvement with WTC families and that she’s really not a bad looking dame. I give the positive and the negative.
But what about the question?
Look, Tony, I’m not going to let you spin this interview just to suit your own agenda. You’re in the No Spin Zone now. I’m neither a liberal nor a conservative. I’m above all labels. If you visit the webstore at my personal website, Billoreilly dot com — that’s Billoreilly dot com — you can find tee shirts, coffee mugs, and collectable items with my picture and our slogan. Okay? So, I’ll give you the last word.
The questions, Bill?
How often did Wolf Blitzer and Mancow Muller get their asses kicked in school for having such pussy names? How do those memories affect their attitudes toward news coverage today?
I just want to say that I am very distressed to learn that Jennifer, Laurie and especially Lauren are part of the India-Indian caste system. I never would have guessed.
But seriously, who are the enemies of the “Fox and Friends” morning show? Is there a list somewhere, like the late great Richard Nixon had?
Dear Fox News Reporter,
Say a horde of terrorist anti-American giant squid crawl out of the water to reclaim Iraq. Do the oil wells still belong to the People[sup]TM[/sup]?