Then how come California requires a different license and exam process for an undertaker/embalmer than for a funeral director?
This is a bit of a strange question, but why would you ask the family to provide underwear along with the clothes they would like the deceased to wear? I can see in the case of a women that a bra would help to present them more like they are used to seeing them when they were alive (lying on your back, things tend to go a little askew). I can also see items like the previously mentioned Mormon undergarments but why would it be necessary to provide an undershirt and boxers along with the suit you want them buried in?
Semper ubi sub ubi.
Nope, it’s from “The Young Ones” (episode “Nasty”) circa 1984.
Great series, and ‘Nasty’ is the first episode I saw (back in the '80s! :eek: ).
Part 1 has the quoted line in the scene starting at about the 2:30 mark. (Part 2 is up, but Part 3 isn’t.)
You are correct that there is a separate license and exam for a Funeral Director and an Embalmer, but the term undertaker is often used to refer to both.
It was explained to me that an the term “Undertaker” had more popular usage a few decades back, and that “Funeral Director” is currently the more popular term. I guess “Undertaker” could also be used to describe and “Embalmer” just as well and just as accurately. But what the “Funeral Director” does is a different set of tasks than what the “Emblamer” would specialize.
To be honest, we really do not need undergarments - however I have found that it comes as a comfort to many families to have their loved one dressed for burial as they would have been dressed in life.
I wonder if funeral-related terms are euphemisms for the comfort of the living? ‘Undertaker’ sounds a bit more gloomy than ‘Funeral Director’. (And as you say, perhaps not as accurate as it once was.) ISTM that places people are buried are called ‘memorial parks’ more often that not, instead of ‘cemeteries’ (which seems to be a gentler term than ‘graveyards’). I have to admit I cringe a little when I hear someone say ‘passed on’. I prefer ‘died’.
I think that’s why undertaker is falling from usage–it doesn’t distinguish between the jobs.
Our primary embalmer was a freelancer, who belonged to some kind of union. (The funeral director himself belonged to the teamsters, because he drove the hearse–and told me that was his best pay.) I was told that because of union rules certain tasks could only be done by the embalmer (not by the director or me). My second day on the job, the family of a woman in state came in when I was alone in the home. They wanted a ring put on her finger, and ask me to put it on. So I did it, but when I later told the owner about it she kind of chewed me out, because that was “union work.”
Our freelance embalmer didn’t do any funeral arrangements. He just embalmed, and he had various funeral homes that used him. I was told that the guy never turned down a job, day or night, any time–he was constantly embalming, saving up for retirement or something. He had a pager so as to be always available (pre-cellphone days), chain smoked, and always–ALWAYS–had a large cup of coffee with him, as though he never slept. Often I left him alone in the morgue after closing, embalming into the night.
You are very much correct that the terms that come into and fall out of popular usage are geared towards the comfort of the bereaved. Indeed, my duty as a funeral director is to sheild the bereaved from the tasks that are necessary in order to accomodate a funeral or burial, and I exist for their comfort. Essentially, we do those necessary things - such as bathing their loved one, embalming, etc. - so that the general public does not have to, and we exist solely for the comfort of the living.
The funeral home where I work is not a union shop, but having worked union gigs in the past I can see both the benefits and the drawbacks of union involvement which I would discuss here except I know that union vs. non-union can be a touchy subject and I do not wish to start a flame war in this regard.
We have an elderly in house embalmer who has been with the company for over 30 years, but because of his age he only comes into the mortuary during regular business hours. Since, like the firm you were employed with, we are a 24 hour facility, we do have a number of on-call embalmers who we will call in to work after hours. None of these embalmers, however, have direct contact with the families we counsel just as I don’t embalm or do other morgue tasks. We are totally different specializations in the same field, regardless of the public’s notion that we are all “undertakers”
Awesome link to a hilarious show! Haven’t thought about this show since years ago when a friend of mine showed me some random episode she had taped on Betamax. Now I am going to have to seek this out. Thanks for the link!
Hm… Should I replace my Every Stoopid Episode with the Extra Stoopid one?
Dude, that is awesome - thank you Johnny!
The saying loses it’s humor when you try to translate it into Japanese or Spanish!
You dopers are killing me!
I apologize for the delay in my response - yes, a person with the skill set and work ethic of a good CNA would for the most part be a good fit in the DeathCare industry, however the salary and opportunities for a CNA may be better than they are for a funeral director.
One of the posters previously mentioned the assumed difficulties a funeral director would face if dealing with a family member’s arrangements - since 2011 since I last posted on this page, I have had the unique experience of doing just this for a few family members - my young wife in particular passed away unexpectedly in 2014 and I handled the arrangements. Since she was only 36 when she passed, the coroners office did a full postmortem which I did not expect, having been told by a contact at the coroner’s office that they would likely only do a blood draw for tox screening - she came to back to my mortuary in dire need of reconstruction by my morgue staff. I do not know if seeing her in this condition affected my ability to mourn, which I must admit I think has been reduced somewhat because of my professional need to disconnect and compartmentalize my emotions to get through everything.
The effect losing my wife has had on me has of course been profound. How it has affected my ability to do my job I am certain is something that I will have to examine in hindsight much later in the future. In the immediate sense, close to three years after my loss, I will admit that my loss has caused me to be somewhat less tolerant of clients who have the attitude that their loss and pain is greater than anyone else and their bereaved status entitles them to act like a jerk to others - where this used to roll off of me in the past, I find it to be of great annoyance and a major test to my patience.
We typically request that families provide a full set of clothing, excluding shoes but including undergarments. Although we do not really need the undergarments and can dress a loved one in outer garments (such as a suit and slacks) it is done as a matter of respect and dignity toward the decedent, as is most of what funeral directors do for our families - these are not requirements but done in order to show respect to the decedent and provide comfort to the bereaved.
Certainly in the case of a direct cremation - that is when a family requests no services or viewing and want us to proceed with cremation as soon as possible - there is no operative need for any clothing at all, however most families do find it of comfort to know that their loved one was dressed in a favorite outfit for cremation.
Are either embalming or a casket a legal requirement for cremation?