tisiphone, the translation in the OP comes by way of Robert Oppenheimer.
Meh. Vedic scripture – it’s not exactly rocket science.
Are you, by any chance, a “Goth”?
Or do you spend time kneeling on top of a charred hillside, head thrown back, eys closed but streaming tears, arms outstretched, and howling in utter grief and anguish as “Adagio for Strings” plays in the background?
Naw, he’s just a working stiff.
So how exactly does one wield a scythe, anyway? I’ve seen pictures of them, and the way the blade is angled to the handle makes it look rather clumsy, and too difficult to use against anything more mobile than grassy plants.
Oh, and shouldn’t you be speaking in all caps?
Goofus—How do you wield a scythe?
If you’re not scared now, you should be. I certainly am, that someone else asked that question. :eek:
I like to watch old movies. One of my favorites is on: “Death Takes a Holiday.”
You should be more spooked that you let Death know you live in Pennsylvania. That makes it easier for me to find you when I want. Unless you live in Pittsburgh, in which case I figure you’ve suffered enough.
She would be the Croakatrix, though I think “Anna Nicole Smith” has a nice ring.
You wouldn’t believe! People drive their SUVs 90 mph around hairpin turns and then throw a hissy when I show up. Look folks, you had plenty of time to get your affairs in order. It’s not my fault you spent it playing “Grand Theft Auto.” You should hear them whine, “Oh, I just need one more day, one more week to do all the things I need to do.” Like what – spend your time polishing off another dozens Taco Bell burritos and putting a subwoofer in your car? Gimme a break. Let me ask you – when was the last time you tipped Death, the Destroyer of Worlds? I never get tips anymore. They used to leave pennies on their eyes. Now they don’t even do that. Cheap bastards. The attitudes I get from these folks: “Death be not proud. Death, thou shalt die.” Okay, so maybe I steal the bloom from the fairest rose and causeth the sparrow to fall from the sky. So that makes me the bad guy? Jeez, folks, get a life. I mean …
It’s ridiculous, so I’m unionizing. I’m going to join up with the Teamsters. I figure that’ll scare people.
Ah, bunch of suits. I think half of them are related to the boss.
(Sigh.) They told us at new-employee orientation that this would come up. Look, I’m new to this, I didn’t invent the phrase. “I am become” should clue you in that “I aren’t before.” And I amn’t going to discuss it.
I’m death. I love rap.
Look, they just sort of let me refer to myself as Death, the Destroyer of Worlds. My actual job title is Morbidity-Assistance Technician.
Me, I just use a handy Fiskar’s blade sharpener. Pays for itself.
I found that the previous occupant of this job had let Leni Riefenstahl slide. She was 101! Well, I took over, and she ain’t going to be 102.
Ingenuity, originality, and customer service are my middle names. For example, I found out that we were receiving a lot of complaints from feminists who said women were being short-changed by my department – that they had to wait around an average of seven years longer than men. Well, I’ve instituted an affirmative-action program, just for feminists. We’ll be moving them to the front of the line.
I use Glean.
I’m still looking for that Ms. Right who enjoys long walks by the graveyard and curling up next to a forest fire with a good Doomsday Book.
As long as they keep making “Jackass” movies, I’m set.
Hah! Five bucks won’t get you Death, the Destroyer of Squirrels.
Great. People are dying for a job like mine.
Hah! That would be some strange eons.
A cad! Oh, doh! Dey’ve foud da wud ting dad scares be away.
Ahhh.
**Ahhhhhh
Ahhhhhhhhh
CHOO!**
When starting the downswing the shoulders should be passive, allowing the forward motion of the legs to pull the right shoulder down and forward, squaring the shoulders to the target line at impact. If the shoulders have moved into an open position (facing to the left of the target) prior to impact, the scythe will travel outside-to-inside of the target line. This brings the scythe over the victim, promoting an over-the-top move.
I’ve read a lot of golfing tips.
They’ve helped me with my slice.
I’ve been typing in all black, but the joke must be too obscure.
Retire? Oppenheimer fund is helping you manage your money, with a smart mix of stocks, bonds and short-term investments. The roadmap to your financial future – today.
Even Death gets a 401(k).
Publish or perish.
Aww, c’mon, folks. You had to see that coming.
Gauls? Yeah, I got lots of them this summer.
Mahalinga, Maheshvara, Mahadeva, meshuga, megillah, Rudra, schmudra. Shiva418, you’re only 82 slots away from falling off the top-500 list. You’re way in back of Shiva 329, and all that he’s in charge of is destroying melon balls and GoldStar televisions. Arm wrestle? Sure, but just so you know, I’ve been working hard swinging that scythe.