Ask the Master

The continuing presence of the “Ask The Master” page give me continuing hope that, on day, Cecil may be reincarnated. In the mean time, the text reads:

[contact-form to=””][contact-field label=”Name” type=”name” required=”1″][contact-field label=”Email” type=”email” required=”1″][contact-field label=”Question” type=”textarea” required=”1″][/contact-form]

… which is possibly not what was intended.


I don’t know if our admin is aware of this or not. I forwarded the info just in case.

It is a test to determine whether those who seek the wisdom of the master are worthy.

Looking at this now. Not sure what happened, nothing’s changed that I know of. But obviously something has gone awry here.

Thanks for the heads up.

your humble TubaDiva

Cecil will be spinning in his grave.

Dear Unka Cecil,
What is the spin rate for a body in a grave?

African or European grave?

The form is fixed.

The spinning can stop now. Might have been the cause of the hurricane. :smiley:

your humble TubaDiva

may I ask if theres no column or staff reports snymore why still have it up?
although I do hope we get staff reports back long enough to empty the online mail bag…

People still ask questions. For the most part I send them here to the message board, where I know the Teeming Millions will do their damndest to enlighten/educate/entertain them, as always.

You’re really a wonderful resource and we need you now more than ever. One of my biggest challenges here is how can I help the rest of the world know what a great place this is and how good this could be.

I do filter out the spam (just like here, there’s a ton of it) and head off some of the more unusual requests like …

to cecil

Attn : Director Export / Sales Manager

Dear Sir/Madam,

We would like to buy following item urgently:

Semen Container for semen storage and transportation. Liquid nitrogen holding capacity: 2.0 – 2.30 litter. Straw holding capacity (0.25 ml); 2OO - 5OO(nos). Static holding time: 15 -30 days. Empty weight: 2.0 - 2.3 kg. Neck diameter: 30-34.5mm. Outer diameter: 166 – 217 mm. Total height: 365 - 407 mm.

Static evaporation loss: 0.06 - O.1O litter/day. No of Canister: 3 – 5. Canister Outer diameter 17 – 25 mm. Canister height: 120 mm. Made of high strength aluminum alloy. Neck cap must be made of polypropylene. Mouth cover with lock system. Must have portable handle and protective jacket. Vacuum quality guaranty: Minimum 2(Two) Years. Sample of the item and original catalogue must be provided for technical evaluation. Company must have ISO Certificate

Can you please send us FOB price?

Best regards,

So yes, we’re still open for questions and comments … and hope to provide answers. Well, for most things.
your humble TubaDiva

I know absolutely nothing about Semen Containers. That’s my story, and I’m, er, sticking to it.

[HUMORLESS DIDACT] As hilarious as “semen container” may sound, the word “semen” means “cement” in at least one other language - Indonesian - and I suspect in others. In fact, when I first came to Indonesia in the 1990s, my office building looked out over a building graced by the sign "Semen Gresik". It amused me greatly, until my Indonesian language skills improved to the point where “semen” just meant “cement” to me, and I stopped sniggering. [/HUMORLESS DIDACT]

sounds like that’s used for breeding cattle…….

A 70-year-old man went to his doctor’s office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring me back a sample tomorrow.” The next day the 70-year-old man reappears at the doctor’s office and gives him the jar, which is as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explains: “Well, doc, it’s like this: First I tried with my right hand, but, nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, with nothing. Then her left, but nothing. She even tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with the teeth out, and still nothing. We even called up the lady next door and she tried with both hands and her mouth too, but nothing.”

The doctor was shocked! “You asked your neighbor?” The old man replied, “Yep, but no matter what we tried, we couldn’t get the darned jar open!”

This is easy to answer. You just need to ignore the background details and focus on the question.