Have you tried American microbrews? Because it seems many people who love beer, but live in America, agree with you!
Serious question.
Do you think about your own mortality a lot? Have you come to terms with it?
Because I’m still in my twenties and I think about aging and death all the time. But I imagine it becomes… less abstract… as you actually age.
Yes, I have. Oddly enough, the “kids” were 39 and 42 at the time, and not on my lawn. Things like that happen on my semi-annual He-Man-Woman-Haters-Club camping trips, somewhere between the first and third bottles of whiskey.
We’re talking damn fine beer and meat suitable for grilling here. It ain’t like they’re Non-Cajun French or anything.
The 41st rule of Middle Aged Curmudgeon Club is never go to pool parties hosted by gay men that call you big boy.
Have you tried those newfangled Cialis or Levitras, or do you prefer to stick to the old tried and true- Viagra?
So that’s why my membership got turned down! Dammit! And here I sit so qualified. To
I would have said “Cute kittens – dog food that doesn’t need a can” and everything!
Explain Riding Lawnmower? 
It’s a machine. It’s loud. Powerful. Dangerous to dumbasses. You can drive it, accomplish something useful, and there’s a place to put your beer while you light another smoke. What needs explaining?
Not coming to terms with mortality is for candy asses. One day, my heart is going to explode, or some disgruntled defendant is going to blow my fucking head off, or some drunk kid in a boom boom car will splatter my hairy ass across the highway, or my time will be otherwise up. Might be today. Might be 50 years from now. Until it does, I’ll light another smoke, and sip on some whiskey.
whoooooooooosh
Which is worse, the work ethic of the younger generation or a woman who can’t / won’t make cornbread or sweet tea?
I’m middle-aged and grumpy. I watch baseball, eat red meat, probably cancel your vote most elections, quit smoking, drink, screw, don’t gamble, curse, don’t own guns (because I’m a terrible shot, and that really takes the fun out of it) and otherwise enjoy being thoroughly, unabashedly male and heterosexual. Got me a self propelled lawnmower, weedeater, leaf blower, hammers, axes, shovels, tents, knives, fishing poles, big ass TV, and just a plain old not-so-big ass.
Would I be allowed on your lawn?
I have a very simple rule: Only drink beer that comes from a country that speaks a germanic language.
English beer: Check
German beer: check
Irish beer: Check
Belgian beer: Check (Flemish is germanic)
French beer: Hell no
Italian Beer: Dear god! I actually put that in my mouth? What was I thinking?
Mexican beer: Anything you need to add a lime to so it will be drinkable (and isn’t a gin and tonic) will never be drunk by me.
You’re my new hero Oakminster.
How about weed. Thumbs up or down? That’s about the only thing that I’m probably less of a curmudgeon about.
Like since I’m a reformed hippy from the late 70’s dude. 
Do you think that maybe life is a little too short to spend the later half of your life all “grumpy” and pissed off at the world for no reason?
When does ‘middle age’ start, in your opinion, Oakminster.
I was just wondering because my wife doesn’t think I am middle-aged yet, but if I am not, then I am very likely going to live to be more than 110 years in total.
Maybe my math is a bit suspect.
The damn kids, of course. The woman who can’t/won’t make cornbread or sweet tea is obviously a yankee, and may be claimed as a war prize.
Well, ya can drink beer in my garage/driveway area. Or on the patio. I just put out some grass seed over the weekend, so there won’t be any lawn mowing going on.
I’m certainly glad I was mannerly, it gives me leave to ask you to explain this interesting concept.
Thumbs…in the general direction of the Fifth Amendment. I will observe that possession of marijuana is not lawful in my state. Therefore, if I happen to find some laying around somewhere, I’d be obliged to destroy it. I’d then note that burning is a generally efficient means of destruction, and that concern for the environment precludes releasing large amounts of smoke. So one solution may be to burn the illicit substance in relatively small amounts, and to see that the smoke produced thereby is…bio-filtered…before being released into the environment.