For those not yet officially elderly, and inspired by this thread.
I can’t wait to be old. I’m going to be so mean.
Judging by how my parents and their siblings held up in later years, I should be fine.
At what point are you “old”?
It always seems to be 5 years past my current age… 
Considering I’m a young 69 this year, I think I have it figured out.
Why can’t I be all those things, by turn? Or even all at once?
I really hope I’m the same as I am now. I look at old men driving well under the speed limit, doddering along, and realize “that used to be a young spry man at some point.” I hope I don’t have to buy a Buick and sit 3 inches from the steering wheel, wearing a funny hat. With my left blinker continuously on.
I hope I don’t start wearing jackets in the summer or pulling my pants up to my armpits either.
And yeah, old is a moving target.
The kind that crop dusts little kids and then asks “What’s that I smell baking, are those fresh cookies?”
It’s too bad dirty magazines aren’t as much of a thing anymore. I used to love visting my gramps and thumbing through his old issues of Penthouse. In the future, I guess we’ll just leave XHamster open on our tablet or something.
Like every old person, I will THINK I am The same congenial and intelligent person I now am while actually being *Crotchety, suspicious, and cynical * with an occasional *hits the gas instead of the brake and crashes into the Quickie Mart at 70 mph *.
Now get off the hood of my car you disrespectful whippersnapper!
As much as I’d like to think I’d be the same person I am today, more likely I’d be a goofy old lady who needs to be kept from buying everything she sees on QVC. Then again, I could end up taking after my grandma and great-grandma, about whom it could be charitably said that they have (or had) “a bit of an attitude.”
Crotchety, suspicious, and cynical just like I am today at 46. Only maybe I’ll talk a little slower, glare a little longer before busting out laughing at stuff that’s only funny to me, and try a little harder to pretend not be bothered by my increasingly unreliable memory. Oh, and I fully intend to be weird in public like holding conversations with onions at the grocery store, or staring up into the sky at nothing in particular just to see if I can get other people to try and see what I’m looking at. Oh, and parking my little MR2 out in the movie theater parking lot making vroom-vroom noises and pretending to be racing at Laguna Seca.
It’s gonna be so awesome. Only 5 more years to go. 
I got my eye on the store down the street!
What were the options again?
Regards,
Shodan
I like to think that I’ll be one of those gregarious old men who everyone really enjoys being around, except that every now and then I say something ludicrously out of line and everyone has a “…” moment where they share awkward glances that speak volumes about how I’m old and set in my ways.
letting it all hang out.
I’m already pretty crotchety and cynical, but also sort of congenial and intelligent. I figure I’ll stay that way. But I’m definitely gonna be a crazy cat lady.
Rude. I’m going to be terribly rude.
Options 2 and 3 are equal for me.
I chose #5, because #3, which is #2. So 5.